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Old 10-05-2014, 08:09 PM
 
1 posts, read 823 times
Reputation: 10

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Hello everyone, I'm new this forum. I'm a 55yrs. old Black-American, New Yorker and am seeking to divorce my ex-wife. I've been separated from my ex- wife for 4 years and haven't dated or even had any interest in dating nor in having sex. I haven't gotten the divorce because there was never any urgency, plus I wasn't prepared to put out the money at the time. Four years ago when I first separated from my ex, I had a career as a "Christian Counselor". That's when I was Moderator cut: against TOS co-worker of mines. I put up a profile but never followed through. Last month, out of boredom, I decided to visit the site and noticed that a few women had looked at my profile, so I winked at a couple of them and that's when this most beautiful 40 year Philippine women responded with a modest, mature, respectful reply. We have been communicating via SKYPE and gotten to build a meaningful relationship. I'm truly infatuated with this women and have even felt that I might be in LOVE with her. I never knew love, I'm sure, that what it is because I think of her night and day. I'm often nervous and my hearts beat a 1,000 mile per second whenever I talk with her or visit her face to face on Skype. I've been totally honest with her about everything, even the fact I haven't gotten the divorce or that I live in an apartment building in Harlem, New York that my ex-wife family owns. I've done a lot of research on marrying Philippine women and I've asked her to marry me. Its seem like there is a lot involved. That it could take anywhere from 6mos. to a year for this to happen but I know that I want her. Someone anyone please HELP ME!!!

Last edited by Oldhag1; 10-07-2014 at 01:23 AM..
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Old 10-05-2014, 08:39 PM
 
6,726 posts, read 6,611,101 times
Reputation: 2386
Since you already decided, what exactly do you want to know?
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Old 10-05-2014, 10:37 PM
 
Location: Albuquerque area
244 posts, read 193,061 times
Reputation: 1083
"Truly infatuated" and have even felt that you "might be in LOVE with her?" But having said that, you've already asked her to marry you? Heart palpitations during a Skype conversation generally don't make for a solid foundation on which to build a marriage. Why not spend some real world time together and verify that you can actually stand to be with one another for days/weeks/months at a time before you worry about the long, drawn-out process of legal marriage to a virtual stranger halfway around the world? I recommend this for your safety as well as hers.
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Old 10-06-2014, 07:01 AM
 
Location: Florida & Cebu, Philippines
2,808 posts, read 2,440,506 times
Reputation: 2872
Quote:
Originally Posted by Memore View Post
Hello everyone, I'm new this forum. I'm a 55yrs. old Black-American, New Yorker and am seeking to divorce my ex-wife. I've been separated from my ex- wife for 4 years and haven't dated or even had any interest in dating nor in having sex. I haven't gotten the divorce because there was never any urgency, plus I wasn't prepared to put out the money at the time. Four years ago when I first separated from my ex, I had a career as a "Christian Counselor". That's when I was introduce to Christian Dating For Free by a co-worker of mines. I put up a profile but never followed through. Last month, out of boredom, I decided to visit the site and noticed that a few women had looked at my profile, so I winked at a couple of them and that's when this most beautiful 40 year Philippine women responded with a modest, mature, respectful reply. We have been communicating via SKYPE and gotten to build a meaningful relationship. I'm truly infatuated with this women and have even felt that I might be in LOVE with her. I never knew love, I'm sure, that what it is because I think of her night and day. I'm often nervous and my hearts beat a 1,000 mile per second whenever I talk with her or visit her face to face on Skype. I've been totally honest with her about everything, even the fact I haven't gotten the divorce or that I live in an apartment building in Harlem, New York that my ex-wife family owns. I've done a lot of research on marrying Philippine women and I've asked her to marry me. Its seem like there is a lot involved. That it could take anywhere from 6mos. to a year for this to happen but I know that I want her. Someone anyone please HELP ME!!!
You cannot marry her and bring her to the US until you have visited her in the Philippines, unless she is a woman of means and can get a visa on her own to travel to the US for you two to marry here, which is rarely the case.

I am married to a Filipina, so I can understand how you may feel but please slow down.

I wish you luck but let me tell you that it cost a lot of money to fly to the Philippines and then to apply for a visa for her to come to the states. You will also need to be able to prove you make 125% of the poverty level for 2 in the year you apply to get her a visa. If you have the income and the money required to bring her over, then no problem (other than the time it takes which can be up to one year) but if not then I am sorry to say that both of you may end up with broken hearts. I do not know your financial situation but thought you should know it cost a lot, since I have met a few guys who could not fulfill the requirements and both parties ended up heart broken.

In case you do not know, the Philippines is the other end of the world and it takes around 24 hours of travel plus layovers, something to consider if a person has never been on a long distance flight. Maybe you might consider moving there as it can cost less to live for a simple life and especially if she already has a place to live.

If you have specific questions then feel free to ask them but to answer your vague question, yes it is a lot of work and a lot of money involved in marrying someone from the Philippines. Also you must be divorced and prove it and get a certificate from the US embassy in Manila Philippines saying you are able to marry. She also must be single but if she had been married then an annulment (there is no divorce in the Philippines) can cost $3000 to $5000 and take years to get. First thing to do is visit, that can cost $1500 or more just for the ticket, then around over $1000 for her visa and then another $1500 or more for her ticket to the states and then the fun and costs first begins until the time comes she can get US citizenship.

You can find some information on costs of visas on THIS page. Hope some of that helps.
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Old 10-06-2014, 07:14 AM
 
Location: Florida & Cebu, Philippines
2,808 posts, read 2,440,506 times
Reputation: 2872
To add, it usually takes up to 3 weeks in the Philippines to get married there, if all requirements have already been met, she has already gotten her certificate of singleness and you have already gotten yours from the US embassy there and then applied for a marriage license which has a waiting period before you can get married.

If a Fiance visa for her then you two would have to have met in person recently and prove it to get one.

A US citizen can stay visa free for up to 30 days in the Philippines, so the first step is for you to make sure your divorces is final and you have a few original copies of it and a few copies any other divorce if that applies as everything takes an original, that you have a few originals of your birth certificate, and you will need an FBI clearance if it is your intention to live there, then of course you must have a US passport so you can travel there and you have the financial capacity to do so or to live there.

As a side note that hopefully does not apply to you, the Philippines has gotten very tough recently on letting anyone in who has a conviction, there has been people turned around and refused entry who have criminal records.
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Old 10-06-2014, 07:15 AM
 
Location: The Netherlands
4,294 posts, read 3,083,129 times
Reputation: 4286
slow down, first see the woman in person decide from there, I am not sure what for help you ask here. That is all I can say after reading your post. And finalize your legal divorce. Other wise you are in a jam.
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Old 10-07-2014, 12:02 PM
 
Location: No. Virginia, USA
328 posts, read 476,963 times
Reputation: 317
Nice post by Mr. Lee, above (#4).
I was just traveling in the Philippines. I had two ladies tell me I was their "destiny." That word in your title is what drew my attention. You're old enough to know you need to be careful here.
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Old 10-08-2014, 05:50 AM
 
Location: Florida & Cebu, Philippines
2,808 posts, read 2,440,506 times
Reputation: 2872
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chasva69 View Post
Nice post by Mr. Lee, above (#4).
Thank you!

I hope we hear from the OP again to find out how things turned out for them but I will not hold my breath.

Over my quarter century of learning about Philippine relationships, my 23 years of knowing my wife and my 20 plus years of marriage to to her, I have met a lot of dreamers who love the idea of marrying a lady from the Philippines but always seem to look for that mysterious loophole in the laws so they can bring their woman over to the US without them actually having to travel to the Philippines. I can tell people first hand that even when I had friends who worked for INS back when I wanted to bring my future wife over, I still had to have met her in person in order to get a visa for her but that was not a problem for me since it was my intention to actually live in the Philippines.

I hope the OP finds true happiness, as I feel that I have, but he will have to put in the required work and spend lots of money to do it all, in order for it to happen.
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