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Old 02-15-2016, 11:33 AM
 
329 posts, read 296,833 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GirlFromDalston View Post
Perhaps that is one interpretation of it, but again it makes very little sense given that India is a highly patrilineal culture. So the son continues living with the parents and providing for them (thereby compensating their spending on him) and additionally he brings a daughter-in-law who will live with them, look after them and give birth to and raise children who carry on their bloodline. Therefore it is utterly exploitative that in addition to giving up her family for his and looking after them, the daughter in law is also supposed to provide for them financially while the son offers neither domestic nor financial support to his wife's parents. Little wonder that girls are viewed as a burden and aborted at such an alarming rate!

In addition, in 'modern' wealthy India dowry often includes extravagant presents for the groom, typically expensive cars and luxury watches! Last year I was in an upscale restaurant with a few urbane, educated Indian friends and one of the men was congratulations on his engagement and asked jovially 'so which car will you get?'- this is the level of cultural acceptance of dowry that I personally witnessed even in the most supposedly liberated socioeconomic circles. Also, amongst the more nouveau riche Indians there is a trend of presenting the groom with extravagant presents in the wedding ceremony itself - recently a billionaire heiress provided her husband with all kinds of dowry including a helicopter, in front of their thousands of guests. And this was a wedding conducted amongst the upper crust of Indians in the UK!
So you ae quoting what an extremely rich Indian afmily did in the UK..? What about the celebrities in UK and their repeated marriages that are extravagant ?
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Old 02-15-2016, 11:38 AM
 
329 posts, read 296,833 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Seagreen10 View Post
I am not claiming that India is dowry free, but i do see a change coming in. I have lived in India for 27 years, was educated there and married a guy of my own choice. I married outside my community and both are families were happy, no dowry was demanded nor given. This may come off as a on off example to you but for a huge chunk of people i know, have grown up with fortunately had similar experiences. I dervice my optimism from there. India does have a sizeable chunk where the youth is willing to stand up against Dowry. A small change is a good change, to name a few :
Your emphasis that this is evil is completely justifiable and i do not disagree. Female infanticide is ugly and yes unfortunately still prevalent. But i am glad the society as a whole is making changes.
1. Prenatal sex determination is banned in India and the law is fairly strict with those who flout
2. Private schools admission policy allots extra points to families with a girl child
3. Tv, print and social media has numerous ongoing efforts to eradicate anti female mindset.
These steps do make a difference. I appreciate the discussion we had, a 2 way communication can help a lot.
Me too...I grew up in India, got an advanced and excellent education (zero education loans) travelled the world by myslef, found a man my parents married me off to him, never any dowry. My parents accept my husband more openly and affectionately than my American in-laws accept me!! And he is a Christian too.
I have known my whole family embrace my husband much more openly than his family who always make some nasty 'third-world type comments' to me and tended to exclude me from convesratins, calls and such until I had to assrt myself.
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Old 02-15-2016, 11:41 AM
 
329 posts, read 296,833 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesse44 View Post
I just came back from India. I think the food is great and there's never a moment that is....dull there. It's certainly a very stimulating place. If I can compare India to Nepal, of which I spent a lot more time in, I would say Indians are a little more gruff than the Nepalis. Everything seems like a bit of a bureaucratic hassle, but that's part of the fun.
Cool. Yes THe nepalis are known to be much nicer/friendlisr...they live closer to nature in paceful natural settings and are also (if I am correct) not exposed to the kind of over-population as expreienced in INdia. Overall I have always heard of thier simplicity, gentleness, humilty and sweet temperament. I wish I can vist Nepal sometime.
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Old 02-15-2016, 03:46 PM
 
Location: Middle of the Pacific Ocean
11,684 posts, read 6,281,571 times
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When I visited India back in 2010, I thoroughly enjoyed my time there. The food was, as expected, amazing (well, except for when I became violently ill after a bad meal ). The people were generally friendly, too, although I was a bit put off by all of the spitting in the sand I saw at a beach in Mumbai . . . seriously, I didn't feel comfortable walking without shoes in the sand, which is something that many people look forward to doing when visiting the beach in the US. I was shocked by the level of poverty and conditions in some areas (e.g. entire families living out on the street, open street sewage systems, etc.). I'd gladly return, though.
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Old 02-15-2016, 07:27 PM
 
1,947 posts, read 906,830 times
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Sorry folks, I will not and refuse to afford India the distinction of being called a Leader in Asia, until it tackles its very damaging and too outdated approach towards poor people and castes in that society.
They can produce all the greatest data people out there, but it counts for little when with all the prosperity of late, their is no attempt to tackle the systemic problems of abject poverty and disease plaguing that land
It is very puzzling , how on one hand you have that overly aggressive drive to get ahead shown by professionals there. Then, on the other, you have again the most despairing sense of loss and deprivation among lesser off Indians.
Why, and putting my un pc hat on here for one minute, does it not occur to the legions of educated professionals, that no matter what they attain or produce, the specter of poverty and human rights abuses will take much of the shine out of the new found success.
This is where Western Countries and India share a strong difference in opinion. For many Indians it is impossible to comprehend. In many ways, they would have hoped to be part of the "world club", capitalism and all that jazz about only the strongest survive etc. But alas, if anything, there is a polemic gap between both viewpoints in practice.
India for all intent and purposes, will have to try harder in many areas. To open up their country, as they have done through trade and commerce like never before , also gives the attending World audience a view into how the prosperity has been managed in this country. The results are glaringly disappointing.
Despite what many will say, India may very well rue the day in the near future when it looks back and compares itself to the iconic West. They will see greed and avarice among Indians as the rocks to which it will perish as a World power.

Last edited by scirocco; 02-15-2016 at 08:01 PM..
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Old 02-16-2016, 03:33 PM
 
3,764 posts, read 3,802,531 times
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I'll be honest about the things I hate:

India can be shockingly and stomach churningly filthy. Trash and human waste can be found in the street, the air pollution is horrible, and you'll see people with health conditions that will warp your mind.

The other thing I hate is how people will try to constantly talk over you, how queues are imaginary, and how utterly nonsensical somethings can be. For example, just to get onto the toy train, you had to go to a window with a huge line to get a ticket to go to a ticket office that was terribly marked to get a real ticket and then get in line to get onto the train (IIRC, its been a long time).

Additionally, it can be VERY uncomfortable to travel in India as woman, especially if you're attractive and have fair skin. Dozens of men will stare at you with lustful eyes e erywhere you go, will follow you, and might even try to grope you.

But man, you've never seen filth until you've been to India's cities. Talking, knowing, or being friends with an Indian person or liking Indian cuisine doesn't mean at all you've experienced what the actual country of India is like. You really need to get slammed in the face with the smells from human waste in the streets on a hot day in a city like Delhi before you know what it is like.

Last edited by fibonacci; 02-16-2016 at 03:44 PM..
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Old 02-16-2016, 07:46 PM
 
Location: University City, Philadelphia
22,592 posts, read 12,334,192 times
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I have been to India 4 times. One trip, my third, was a three month grand tour of entire nation. On another trip I spent one and half months there. I've been to the big cities, the smaller cities, and the little villages.

I love India. It has an incredibly rich history and culture, beautiful architecture, good food, gorgeous scenery, friendly people.

Poverty does not disturb me so much, because the fact is much of Africa, Latin America, much of Asia, parts of the Middle East, even some places in the Caribbean are just as bad or worse. Third World countries are poor ... and often dirty.
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Old 02-27-2016, 02:26 AM
 
Location: San Jose, CA
10 posts, read 12,642 times
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OP here.

Did not expect this many replies honestly. Thanks for the interesting range of opinions!

Quote:
Originally Posted by fibonacci View Post
I'll be honest about the things I hate:

India can be shockingly and stomach churningly filthy. Trash and human waste can be found in the street, the air pollution is horrible, and you'll see people with health conditions that will warp your mind.

The other thing I hate is how people will try to constantly talk over you, how queues are imaginary, and how utterly nonsensical somethings can be. For example, just to get onto the toy train, you had to go to a window with a huge line to get a ticket to go to a ticket office that was terribly marked to get a real ticket and then get in line to get onto the train (IIRC, its been a long time).

Additionally, it can be VERY uncomfortable to travel in India as woman, especially if you're attractive and have fair skin. Dozens of men will stare at you with lustful eyes e erywhere you go, will follow you, and might even try to grope you.

But man, you've never seen filth until you've been to India's cities. Talking, knowing, or being friends with an Indian person or liking Indian cuisine doesn't mean at all you've experienced what the actual country of India is like. You really need to get slammed in the face with the smells from human waste in the streets on a hot day in a city like Delhi before you know what it is like.
Yeah, this filth is a major issue, and it comes down to a combination of inadequate waste management, a large amount of apathy towards the environment, and high population density. Fortunately, awareness in the country is slowly increasing towards this, and the current prime minister has made public cleanliness a major priority; I hope it results in a marked difference.

That said, the southern part of the country is generally cleaner than the north.

I hope you had positive experiences in India too.
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Old 02-27-2016, 11:00 PM
FBF
 
572 posts, read 692,033 times
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I am honestly annoyed with Indians who come straight from India because they bring their starring culture with them when moving to the United States.

I live in Iowa and it is near a suburb where my family and I are the very few Mexicans who live here (the only minorities in this middle upper class suburbs are East Asians and Indians/Pakistanis). The Wells Fargo Bank branch offers a Hindi translator just for them!

Other minorities and Hispanics are generally living downtown or poor suburbs and because we are well off and do not fit the Mexican stereotype (poor, fat, short, and dark skin) they assume we are lighter skin Indians or even Pakistanis!

Which is absurd since we are never mistaken to be those ethnicities in Georgia.

They block our way and follow us when shopping and stare at us and some of the women are hanging around hoping that I will speak to them to court them! I guess they have not heard of Indian date sites, huh?

A Indian banker kept insisting I was Indian (repeatingly telling him I am not) but I assume he only wants to hear what he wants to believe since he appears to be a gold digger looking for a rich groom for his daughter!

he assumed I was Indian adopted by a Hispanic family because (in addition of not looking what a Mexican is suppose to like: short and dark skin)I have such good credit history and because like we all know: Hispanics never have good credit history......in addition of working at my bank, he looks up my bank and credit info and is nosey......very annoying!

The Indians who grew up in Western countries are generally better off with assimilating and apologized to me for their family's starring and following since it is part of the culture to admire people who they think are Indians especially those with lighter skin (fair and/or tan) since it associates with wealth and idealized beauty in India......

Last edited by FBF; 02-27-2016 at 11:59 PM..
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Old 02-28-2016, 01:56 AM
 
8,085 posts, read 4,418,585 times
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I am wrapping up a month in India next Friday. I have been amazed at this country and its schizophrenia. Poverty and filth beyond understanding for the typical WASP American, yet enormous growth, technological prowess and progress.

The nuclear family seems paramount. I wonder if the growth evident in actuality and potential is realized over the next 15-30 years, if that, important to society, nuclear family will survive and continue to be heart of Indians.

It saddens me to realize American's casual casting off of the traditional nuclear family has led to the lessening of the U.S.A.s greatness. Good luck India and Indians
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