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I'm Korean American and speak fluent Korean. Half my family live in Korea and I love them dearly. When I first came to Korea 5 years ago, I was so excited and full of love for Koreans and actually very patriotic. That's because I didn't know any real Koreans back in the US and my opinions of Koreans was formed via false Korean dramas that paint Koreans as deep, loyal, considerate people. That was as fake as the faces of most women in this country.
Koreans are extremely hostile, angry, psychologically imbalanced and mentally ill. Just yesterday in the subway, I was standing with my back against the wall and naturally my gaze was directed in front of me where there weren't any passengers. I was gazing at the empty bench where the elderly and infirm sit, but it was unoccupied. A late 50ish woman with her 80 year old mother walk into my line of sight and sit down. Naturally they are in my gaze since that's where I had been looking at even before they sat down. The 60ish woman gives me a cold hard bitten stare and holds it for a long time with a "what the fxxk are you looking at!?" look. Another time I was walking towards an office building turnstile/ID checking gate, when a 25ish woman went through it and walked towards me. Since we were directly in each others paths as we walked towards each other, she gave me a snarl, exactly like the one a mad dog gives. I am 40 years old and way older than her. Yes she snarled at me. I have never encountered such an animalistic snarl in my life. People are not only rude, inconsiderate and bad mannered here, but they are hostile, angry, antagonistic which makes it even worse. When I first came to Korea I got a job at a major hakwon here called YBM in Shinchon. As a requirement I had to sit in on a class and watch how the teacher taught. It was Christmas evening and I was having dinner with my family, so the last thing I wanted was to sit in on a class. I got there before the class started and out of politeness, I sat far in the corner away from the real students. When the female Korean teacher walked in, I bowed politely to her even though I was much older than her. She just glared at me with snake eyes and ignored my greetings. Later on, in front of the whole class, she yelled at me and demanded why I was in her class, even though she knew perfectly well that I would be attending her class as per policy.
Another time I was walking down Rodeo drive with an English friend. We were walking and talking normally when I heard a middle aged, middle class couple in their Burberry joke and snort at me as I walked passed them. Instinctively, I turned around to see the husband smirking and the wife glaring at me with so much hatred and contempt. My friend and I had done nothing wrong. We were quietly talking and walking past these Korean and yet they took it upon themselves to insult, mock and hate me so much. The wife's contemptuous look was directed at me, not to my English friend. One time, I was teaching a class, when a female teacher barged in without apologizing and in an irritated tone told me her class was supposed to be held in my room. I politely told her that I was told to use the class by the supervisor. She left in a huff. Instead of apologizing for interrupting, she got irritated, when I should have been the one being irritated at her interruption.
Etc etc etc.
After enduring so many of these twisted insolent acts almost on a daily basis, I've developed and intense hatred, fear and loathing for Koreans. I try to stay away from them as much as possible and cannot wait to leave for the USA for good. I've been to most Asian countries in North East Asia (Japan, China) and South East Asia, but they are all far more emotionally well balanced. Even Beijing is not as abnormal.
You may have to adjust your own mentality when you travel. Sometimes, you think you are Korean but your mentality may differ from the locals. That's the case wherever in Asia, in Beijing China or anywhere else.
While I'm not Korean, I am Asian (well mixed) and close to your age (41). A lot of my previous impression of Asians came from Ronald Reagan era brainwashing, well-intentioned people trying to help the 'model minority kid' and the path of least resistance was to fit the bill. People are people, and unfortunately there are always good and bad, your viewpoint and been painted emphasizing the good and not really being heavily exposed to the bad. Unfortunately, as I have learned more about different Asian cultures (NE, Chinese, SE), and layers of behaviour become more apparent, what superficially may look good has more devious origins. The world is cold and people are just trying to survive, Asians cultures are extremely conformist compared to the USA. There has been less of an adjustment from primitive survival to "modern" societies in many Asian cultures and often it's apparent. For your own sanity, try your best to ignore and avoid the bad and do your best to position yourself to be successful and happy in the future.
Yeah, I worked in Seoul for a year and not a fan. They have made Seoul a model of technology and efficiency and there is very little crime and the food is fantastic. But the culture of Korea makes it impossible to feel really welcome there. I gave up trying to socialize with Koreans and just hung out with Westerners. China is a completely different experience and I much preferred it over Korea even with the pollution and much worse food.
I'm Korean American and speak fluent Korean. Half my family live in Korea and I love them dearly. When I first came to Korea 5 years ago, I was so excited and full of love for Koreans and actually very patriotic. That's because I didn't know any real Koreans back in the US and my opinions of Koreans was formed via false Korean dramas that paint Koreans as deep, loyal, considerate people. That was as fake as the faces of most women in this country.
Koreans are extremely hostile, angry, psychologically imbalanced and mentally ill. Just yesterday in the subway, I was standing with my back against the wall and naturally my gaze was directed in front of me where there weren't any passengers. I was gazing at the empty bench where the elderly and infirm sit, but it was unoccupied. A late 50ish woman with her 80 year old mother walk into my line of sight and sit down. Naturally they are in my gaze since that's where I had been looking at even before they sat down. The 60ish woman gives me a cold hard bitten stare and holds it for a long time with a "what the fxxk are you looking at!?" look. Another time I was walking towards an office building turnstile/ID checking gate, when a 25ish woman went through it and walked towards me. Since we were directly in each others paths as we walked towards each other, she gave me a snarl, exactly like the one a mad dog gives. I am 40 years old and way older than her. Yes she snarled at me. I have never encountered such an animalistic snarl in my life. People are not only rude, inconsiderate and bad mannered here, but they are hostile, angry, antagonistic which makes it even worse. When I first came to Korea I got a job at a major hakwon here called YBM in Shinchon. As a requirement I had to sit in on a class and watch how the teacher taught. It was Christmas evening and I was having dinner with my family, so the last thing I wanted was to sit in on a class. I got there before the class started and out of politeness, I sat far in the corner away from the real students. When the female Korean teacher walked in, I bowed politely to her even though I was much older than her. She just glared at me with snake eyes and ignored my greetings. Later on, in front of the whole class, she yelled at me and demanded why I was in her class, even though she knew perfectly well that I would be attending her class as per policy.
Another time I was walking down Rodeo drive with an English friend. We were walking and talking normally when I heard a middle aged, middle class couple in their Burberry joke and snort at me as I walked passed them. Instinctively, I turned around to see the husband smirking and the wife glaring at me with so much hatred and contempt. My friend and I had done nothing wrong. We were quietly talking and walking past these Korean and yet they took it upon themselves to insult, mock and hate me so much. The wife's contemptuous look was directed at me, not to my English friend. One time, I was teaching a class, when a female teacher barged in without apologizing and in an irritated tone told me her class was supposed to be held in my room. I politely told her that I was told to use the class by the supervisor. She left in a huff. Instead of apologizing for interrupting, she got irritated, when I should have been the one being irritated at her interruption.
Etc etc etc.
After enduring so many of these twisted insolent acts almost on a daily basis, I've developed and intense hatred, fear and loathing for Koreans. I try to stay away from them as much as possible and cannot wait to leave for the USA for good. I've been to most Asian countries in North East Asia (Japan, China) and South East Asia, but they are all far more emotionally well balanced. Even Beijing is not as abnormal.
Nouveau rich Koreans having just transformed from a backwater into a modern, sleek, shexy city, but their behavior is still backward. Suppose years of having your balls squeezed by China, Russia then screwed over by Japan then the USA makes Koreans behave like this, add this to the most patriotic nation in Asia...this is what you basically get.
I've visited Japan, South Korea and Taiwan on the same trip but various durations, I couldn't understand why Koreans behaved like the way they did and treated tourists like **** when both the Japanese and Taiwanese were very warm.
My 20-something daughter in law is Korean American. She went to visit family in Korea with her mother. At the airport, a man spoke to her in Korean, and she told him that she only spoke English. He got very angry, raised his voice, and said some things in Korean that were clearly not complimentary. I don't think their attitudes and demeanor are restricted to their country, though.
Years ago, there was an article in the L.A. Times that described how local Koreans were happy when the TV show MASH finally ended. They felt the show portrayed Koreans as humble, subservient peasants when in fact they were nothing of the sort.
Most people in L.A. recall seeing photos and videos of Korean business owners arming themselves to protect their properties during the 1992 riots (something I had no problem with). There have also been some serious clashes between Korean store owners and their customers in the primarily black areas in L.A. They're perceived by many as hard-nosed businesspeople who aren't terribly friendly or accommodating to their customers.
My limited personal experience has been that a generational shift is taking place. An example would be the stereotypical Korean retail business in L.A. -- my local dry cleaner. The original owners were a Korean couple in their sixties, who were genuinely friendly and helpful to me. They sold out to the young relatives of a nearby Korean store owner, and suddenly the smiles and small talk were gone and everything was strictly business. I walked in one day and a twentysomething guy was yelling at someone on the phone and made no effort to stop when he saw me. I wasn't surprised when he later told me they had to move because of a dispute with the landlord. It didn't matter to me, because I had already decided to switch stores.
The young Chinese-Americans I've known who spent their youth boosting life in China and later either emigrated, or spent extended times living here, ended up having a much more American identity at the end of it all, because they realized that no, they aren't Chinese.
Your parents didn't save up to buy you a house, so you're a 25-year old who doesn't have a house, thus isn't ready for marriage and therefore can't get a date. You don't speak the language anywhere near as well as you thought you did, and even if you do, your accent means that people will always remind you that you're different. You get told often, either jokingly or offensively, that you "aren't really a Chinese." You start to get repulsed by the spitting, peeing, crapping, pushing, shoving, shouting, nose-blowing, hawking, and generally uncouth behavior around you much more than the white or black foreigners do, because you feel that it is a personal affront to your sacred Chinese identity, while to them, it's "just what they do." This identity was forged primarily by the Chinese-Americans and -Canadians you grew up around, who tended to be more affluent, better-educated, and more cultured than the norm; now, every day, you encounter Chinese people who are broke, of average or below-average intelligence, poorly-mannered, oblivious to what you believe constitutes "Chinese culture," superstitious on a level that borders on childish...
... so you start to sneer at the "low-class people" and try to cluster with wealthier, more educated Chinese. And they ask why you don't have a house or a Maserati. They like you, you think, but then you start to worry that it's just a matter of saving face because they're relatives, or friends of relatives. When you go to KTV together, they make fun of you for singing songs that are eight years old. They introduce you as their American cousin, and you are treated about the same as you would be if you were white, but with slightly less interest. If you're a guy, the girls aren't interested in you because they are a) already betrothed to someone else, b) concerned that you don't have that house, c) baffled at how to think of you because you're Chinese but not. If you're a girl, they guys aren't interested in you because a) they are already betrothed to someone else, or b) they assume you must have had a gasp!! WHITE BOYFRIEND at some point. Maybe two, or even three!! And you probably had sex with them. You are always, at best, on the periphery of this scene, and it makes you feel like a damn loser.
No one talks to you at all on the streets or even acknowledges you're there because you look exactly like everyone else and thus aren't anything special in anyone's eyes. You've never been invited to join a mah jong or checkers game, and for that matter, you're not really sure how to play it. Because of the cultural gulf with your coworkers, they don't ask you out unless there's a big, company-wide function. The isolation starts to set in, worse than it ever was back in what you now realize - somewhat sheepishly - is, in fact, your "home." You realize that you took offense to the fact that people back in the US or Canada treated you like one of them, because you were convinced you weren't, in fact, one of them, but something different. Now here you are, and... you're something different.
With some frustration and reluctance, you end up going to an expat bar and downing a couple IPA's, because you are sick of the fermented water they call Harbin and Tsingtao. Some white guy sits next to you, you introduce yourself and the first thing you tell him is that you're an American or Canadian. You BS about sports teams you never cared about back home. You talk about how much you miss burritos and how awesome Game of Thrones is. You suddenly find yourself gushing about how much you can't wait to go back home because you're sick of what a crowded mess this place is. You are in the middle of talking about how much you missed having a yard when a song by Blink 182 comes on. You never liked them, but suddenly you jump up and say, "OH MAN! I LOVE THIS SONG!" and start singling along to it and dancing with another American or Canadian. You exchange wechats and meet up again for beer the following night. They never question how American, Canadian, or Chinese you are and you continue to chat about mundane crap with them. You realize you don't actually have much in common with this person, and yet, you feel more familiar with them than you did with any of the Mainlanders you've spent time with up till now.
This is basically the narrative I've seen played out here numerous times, and also I heard relayed to me from friends in the US who went through this. I have yet to encounter a Chinese-American who has moved here and integrated or embraced life in China to anywhere near the degree that I see and hear overseas Chinese describe the matter.
Replace "Chinese" with "Korean" and "Tsingtao and Harbin" with "Hite and Cass" and it's the same difference With less crapping and peeing, of course
A little over and year ago I had a connecting flight in Korea. Everyone I ran into, from the airline employees to the passengers next to me, were very nice to me. That's good enough for me and Korea, because I've heard my share of unpleasant stories from that country-- not just from expats and tourists, but from born and bred Korean nationals/residents.
And from my observations of living in different parts of Japan for 5 years, it's beginning to resemble what the OP described. Last year I only visited Hong Kong for a weekend, but it was pleasant-- not mean/rude or particularly nice.
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With less crapping and peeing, of course 
