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Old 08-10-2016, 02:20 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
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So if a young woman working away from home and sending most of her income back to The Philippines wants to marry, is the new husband expected to support the family as well? What if the husband takes a job where the wife can't get as good a job? I think this custom would greatly reduce the chances of any young Filipina woman from marrying or are my Western ways showing too much? And if the Filipino man is sending money home for his family is he now expected to support BOTH families?
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Old 08-10-2016, 02:49 PM
 
Location: Elysium
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Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
So if a young woman working away from home and sending most of her income back to The Philippines wants to marry, is the new husband expected to support the family as well? What if the husband takes a job where the wife can't get as good a job? I think this custom would greatly reduce the chances of any young Filipina woman from marrying or are my Western ways showing too much? And if the Filipino man is sending money home for his family is he now expected to support BOTH families?
He would not be the sole means of support. Although birth rates are dropping right now it will be three or four siblings pitching in, perhaps cousins as well . And when he retires the family safety net kicks in for him.

Don't believe the prejudice that Filipinas are primarily looking for a foreign husband.
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Old 08-10-2016, 04:32 PM
 
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there IS that family safety net. you can't get that here in the US. that's why i'm planning to retire back home, not here in the US.
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Old 08-10-2016, 04:43 PM
 
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it's funny that this question has come up. i have a cousin who arrived here in the US last september. our relatives back home have been hailing her move to marry a US citizen as a bright hope in their lives since they can now have someone they can piggyback on socially and use for finances--as was immediately evident on her facebook page when she started grumbling about some relatives already asking for a dole out when they got engaged, and that her now husband is not a fountain of money for them to just depend on. ironically, this cousin was among the relatives that asked for dole outs from other relatives who have either worked abroad or married UP (citizens of the foreign nations like US/canada/australia/etc) while she got to keep her lucrative call center job paychecks all to herself without even bothering to support her younger siblings to school. she had tons of posts about her trips to expensive resorts, expensive swimsuits, imported fancy cosmetics (urban decay, smashbox, mac), as well as the latest cameras and smartphones. man, i earn about 4x than her but i even don't have such fancy stuff. it'll be a while before she gets to help anyone back home as she has just given birth to her US citizen son, so obviously all her hubby's money will be all about their kid at this time. my goals at this time are being able to save up enough for retirement and being able to help some relatives (especially younger cousins/nephews/nieces) to stability. saving up for a decent house maybe, but i rarely host parties or get-togethers anyway for showing my property off, so it's something i'm putting on the back burner. though i might invest in a humble property back home that i can retire in. just a really low-key but safe one-level home that won't require a lot of maintenance/upkeep as i get older. something that i can lease to others in the meantime before i retire.

Last edited by zilam98; 08-10-2016 at 05:00 PM..
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Old 08-10-2016, 05:07 PM
 
3,339 posts, read 2,074,964 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
So if a young woman working away from home and sending most of her income back to The Philippines wants to marry, is the new husband expected to support the family as well? What if the husband takes a job where the wife can't get as good a job? I think this custom would greatly reduce the chances of any young Filipina woman from marrying or are my Western ways showing too much? And if the Filipino man is sending money home for his family is he now expected to support BOTH families?
no. and she should stop supporting her family already unless she has a lot of extra money to dole out


this is the one I hate about those sending money to their relatives as if they have a lot of money or they may have a lot of money to give but at the expense of their own family..all work and no time anymore for their own


I think those who do are very few compared to those who prioritize their own family
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Old 08-10-2016, 05:09 PM
 
3,339 posts, read 2,074,964 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zilam98 View Post
it's funny that this question has come up. i have a cousin who arrived here in the US last september. our relatives back home have been hailing her move to marry a US citizen as a bright hope in their lives since they can now have someone they can piggyback on socially and use for finances--as was immediately evident on her facebook page when she started grumbling about some relatives already asking for a dole out when they got engaged, and that her now husband is not a fountain of money for them to just depend on. ironically, this cousin was among the relatives that asked for dole outs from other relatives who have either worked abroad or married UP (citizens of the foreign nations like US/canada/australia/etc) while she got to keep her lucrative call center job paychecks all to herself without even bothering to support her younger siblings to school. she had tons of posts about her trips to expensive resorts, expensive swimsuits, imported fancy cosmetics (urban decay, smashbox, mac), as well as the latest cameras and smartphones. man, i earn about 4x than her but i even don't have such fancy stuff. it'll be a while before she gets to help anyone back home as she has just given birth to her US citizen son, so obviously all her hubby's money will be all about their kid at this time. my goals at this time are being able to save up enough for retirement and being able to help some relatives (especially younger cousins/nephews/nieces) to stability. saving up for a decent house maybe, but i rarely host parties or get-togethers anyway for showing my property off, so it's something i'm putting on the back burner. though i might invest in a humble property back home that i can retire in. just a really low-key but safe one-level home that won't require a lot of maintenance/upkeep as i get older. something that i can lease to others in the meantime before i retire.
I think this depends on the family upbringing..but even "Visaya" who is well to do frowns on her daughter dating "hampas lupa"
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Old 08-10-2016, 05:32 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by payutenyodagimas View Post
I think this depends on the family upbringing..but even "Visaya" who is well to do frowns on her daughter dating "hampas lupa"

i don't think i get your post here. so what about well-to-do "visaya" frowning on a daughter dating a "hampas lupa"? so you're saying, fellow filipinos are "hampas lupa"? how interesting.
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Old 08-10-2016, 05:39 PM
 
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a lot of times though, filipinas who understand the culture and mindset of their foreigner husbands/partners will typically find a job themselves so they could have something to send home and not touch their partners' earnings. however, there is that catch, as the OP posted above, that she and her new family will move somewhere where she will have difficulty finding a job of her own. filipinas can get very crafty in that situation though--they'd make something at home to sell or offer services that people in that new area won't do or have limited capacity to do.
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Old 08-10-2016, 06:01 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zilam98 View Post
i don't think i get your post here. so what about well-to-do "visaya" frowning on a daughter dating a "hampas lupa"? so you're saying, fellow filipinos are "hampas lupa"? how interesting.
those who follow Philippines showbiz know the personalities im referring to
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Old 08-10-2016, 08:21 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by payutenyodagimas View Post
those who follow Philippines showbiz know the personalities im referring to
too bad, i don't really care for showbiz in general, whether it's philippines or elsewhere.
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