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Old 02-08-2018, 04:28 AM
 
1,099 posts, read 1,667,247 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SunAndRain808 View Post
^^ So you're saying that it is bad for me to pay for my girlfriend's food and even pay for her older sister's food when we go out to eat?

I usually do that to be nice to the family members, since I will be a part of their family in the near future.



------------------------

On another note, to any Filipino's or non-Filipino's who got engaged to a Filipina.....what is the Filipino culture of getting engaged? Do I present a ring to my girlfriend in front of her parents? Is it done in front of a pastor/priest at church?

It's the guy who pays for almost everything when dating in the Philippines. That also includes paying for the meals of any chaperons the girl brings along in the initial stage of the relationship. And if some of her relatives act as your driver or tour guides, it's you who will pay for their meals as well. Anyway, if it's just Chowking, Jollibee or McDonald's, they're pretty cheap anyway. How many of you ate at the more expensive seafood restaurant? It's actually a good and fair sign that you only paid for half of that, maybe in consideration that there are more people there.
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Old 02-08-2018, 05:04 AM
 
1,099 posts, read 1,667,247 times
Reputation: 966
Quote:
Originally Posted by SunAndRain808 View Post
^^ So you're saying that it is bad for me to pay for my girlfriend's food and even pay for her older sister's food when we go out to eat?

I usually do that to be nice to the family members, since I will be a part of their family in the near future.



------------------------

On another note, to any Filipino's or non-Filipino's who got engaged to a Filipina.....what is the Filipino culture of getting engaged? Do I present a ring to my girlfriend in front of her parents? Is it done in front of a pastor/priest at church?
The church has nothing to do with the engagement arrangements. What is your and her religion? Almost all Filipinos identify the church wedding as the main wedding date (which is used as the anniversary date, when you have the wedding banquet, etc.). If not a regular church goer, the default will be to do it in a Catholic church. You might want to talk about the visa problem when you get engaged. The fastest way to get her to the US is with the K-1 visa. However, it's much easier to get the marriage done in the US for the visa to work. If you get married in the Philippines, it will take much longer for her to be able to join you in the US. Also note: the groom pays for most of the wedding expenses in the Philippines. Be wary of where your money goes, but think you would notice it when you feel the expenses are over the top.
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Old 02-08-2018, 08:46 AM
 
Location: From Sunny Honolulu to Rainy Puget Sound Area
361 posts, read 227,258 times
Reputation: 308
Quote:
Originally Posted by Taiko View Post
People think that once you pay you are never going to be able to stop. However the culture is the opposite from the US. If it's your birthday/party you are paying not be treated by your friends.
Okay, I guess I should lay off on paying for the meals next time I visit my girlfriend and her family.

Quote:
For getting engaged think old school asking her parents permission. If no father is around an uncle or the oldest brother would probably sit in with her mother. Depending upon the province/ethnic group she might present her right or left hand. The church normally wouldn't be involved yet. Are we talking about Catholics, Islamic, INC, or Protestant (Christian or born again in their usage of the language ?
My girlfriend does have a father. She lives in the northern part of the Philippines in Illocos Sur province. Although the majority of Filipinos are Catholics,...she is Protestant, along with her family members.

I guess I will just buy a ring, and propose to her in her home when I arrive there, with her parents and siblings present.

My mom is being a b-tch. She is telling me to buy my girlfriend a cheap ring because my mom's clients, who are also Filipinos, told her that Filipina's are gold diggers, and once they receive their green card in the US, they leave you in the dust. One Filipino guy also said that my girlfriend's earning, none of it will go to me, and most of the money will be sent to her parents.
I know my girlfriend is not that kind of a person. But still needs to be talked about. Hence, my mom being wary about me marrying my girlfriend, and telling me to buy her a cheap wedding ring (meaning less than $1000 in value). But sheesh, there are also Korean gold digging girls too.

On the side note, what I really like about Filipino families is that their mom, sisters and other friends also keep in touch with you via FB messenger. I don't know how to explain it, but there is this feeling that you're part of the family.
For Korean girls I have dated in the past, on the other hand, I felt very isolated from the family member, and she would hardly send me any text messages. It's like Korean girls in general (not all of them) tend to have a snobby mentality. I have NEVER received any text messages or got to known any of my past Korean GF's siblings or family members.



Anyhow, back on topic ....I guess the proposal part is not a big thing for Filipinos. I also asked my future sister-in-law about proposing, and she said that she was just given a ring....no fancy proposal parties.

BTW, are you Japanese? your username is "Taiko" and some of my former college friends did Taiko drumming.

Last edited by SunAndRain808; 02-08-2018 at 09:05 AM..
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Old 02-08-2018, 08:55 AM
 
Location: From Sunny Honolulu to Rainy Puget Sound Area
361 posts, read 227,258 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GoldenTiger View Post
The church has nothing to do with the engagement arrangements. What is your and her religion?
She is a protestant. I forgot which specific protestant church she attends. But does attend protestant church with her family every Sundays.

Quote:
You might want to talk about the visa problem when you get engaged. The fastest way to get her to the US is with the K-1 visa.
Nope. I already met with an immigration attorney. K-1/I-129's are taking a super LONG time to be processed. The lawyer also mentioned that it will be a more costly process to do I-129.

Hence, she recommended me to get married in the Philippines, get a marriage certificate in English (which I'm sure it is, since it's the PI), and then will file for an I-130 form.
That way, my future wife gets her US green card upon arrival to the US.


Quote:
Also note: the groom pays for most of the wedding expenses in the Philippines. Be wary of where your money goes, but think you would notice it when you feel the expenses are over the top.
^^ I think the parents will plan for a simple wedding.

But I will see how my girlfriend's younger brother's wedding will be carried out this coming May when I re-visit them.
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Old 02-08-2018, 12:17 PM
 
3,339 posts, read 2,073,907 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SunAndRain808 View Post
^^ So you're saying that it is bad for me to pay for my girlfriend's food and even pay for her older sister's food when we go out to eat?

I usually do that to be nice to the family members, since I will be a part of their family in the near future.

you can do that. what I meant was, dont make them dependent on you. help if you can but not to make them dependent. your family first (if you marry her) before extended family. as they say, charity begins at home.
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Old 02-08-2018, 12:21 PM
 
3,339 posts, read 2,073,907 times
Reputation: 2367
Quote:
Originally Posted by SunAndRain808 View Post

On another note, to any Filipino's or non-Filipino's who got engaged to a Filipina.....what is the Filipino culture of getting engaged? Do I present a ring to my girlfriend in front of her parents? Is it done in front of a pastor/priest at church?
that's old school. just tell her you want to marry her then both of you talk to her parents that you want to get married.


but others want the drama so you can give her an engagement ring too, with a witness or whatever makes both of you feel good
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Old 02-08-2018, 05:34 PM
 
Location: From Sunny Honolulu to Rainy Puget Sound Area
361 posts, read 227,258 times
Reputation: 308
Quote:
Originally Posted by payutenyodagimas View Post
that's old school. just tell her you want to marry her then both of you talk to her parents that you want to get married.


but others want the drama so you can give her an engagement ring too, with a witness or whatever makes both of you feel good
Hehe! Okay, I do want the attention.

I will have my girlfriend's parents and some of her siblings to be present when I present the ring to her. Plus I will need the photos/pictures as proof of engagement when I process my honey's visa paperwork.
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Old 02-08-2018, 09:07 PM
 
Location: Elysium
6,573 posts, read 3,629,274 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SunAndRain808 View Post
BTW, are you Japanese? your username is "Taiko" and some of my former college friends did Taiko drumming.
Actually I self identify as Black as we are a family of military brats. Most of the men seemed to go to the Pacific region instead of Germany as I did when I served. I have a closer ties to the Philippines than to Japan. However in high school Japanese Americans were our largest minority to the Black majority and I did play with some taiko drummers. However I took that screen name years ago after watching a NHK taiga drama Hideyoshi and then reading a historical fiction about Toyotomi Hideyoshi, the "taiko"
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Old 02-08-2018, 10:00 PM
 
351 posts, read 550,185 times
Reputation: 340
.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SunAndRain808 View Post
Okay, I guess I should lay off on paying for the meals next time I visit my girlfriend and her family.



My girlfriend does have a father. She lives in the northern part of the Philippines in Illocos Sur province. Although the majority of Filipinos are Catholics,...she is Protestant, along with her family members.

I guess I will just buy a ring, and propose to her in her home when I arrive there, with her parents and siblings present.

My mom is being a b-tch. She is telling me to buy my girlfriend a cheap ring because my mom's clients, who are also Filipinos, told her that Filipina's are gold diggers, and once they receive their green card in the US, they leave you in the dust. One Filipino guy also said that my girlfriend's earning, none of it will go to me, and most of the money will be sent to her parents.
I know my girlfriend is not that kind of a person. But still needs to be talked about. Hence, my mom being wary about me marrying my girlfriend, and telling me to buy her a cheap wedding ring (meaning less than $1000 in value). But sheesh, there are also Korean gold digging girls too.
She probably would want to send money back to her family. In the Filipino circles I used to socialize with the women believed that it is a man's responsibility to support his wife and kids. No argument there.
But they thought that if the wife works, her money is hers to do with as she pleases.
But all the Filipina wives I knew liked to shop and buy things for their husbands.
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Old 02-08-2018, 10:05 PM
 
351 posts, read 550,185 times
Reputation: 340
Quote:
Originally Posted by SunAndRain808 View Post
Okay, I guess I should lay off on paying for the meals next time I visit my girlfriend and her family.





On the side note, what I really like about Filipino families is that their mom, sisters and other friends also keep in touch with you via FB messenger. I don't know how to explain it, but there is this feeling that you're part of the family.
That's true too. My Filipina ex and I split years ago but her sister still tells me they all still consider me as part of their family.
And no, they never ask me for money.
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