Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Greetings! I have a question for those with specific understanding of South Korean culture.
My immediate next door neighbor is originally from South Korea. He (~ age 64) and his 84 year old mother have lived in their house much before I moved in 5 years ago. He's retired. Just over 2 years ago we had a misunderstanding which forced me to call the police. Because he is retired, he began staying up late at night watching action movies after he purchased a surround sound system. He'd watch movies with the system full blast. I work and get up at 4am. After many nights of this I spoke to him. He stopped for 2 weeks but went right back watching movies as before. I spoke to him a second time and informed him I'd call the police if he continued. Sure enough, I ended up calling the police. We became cordial with each other after that incident and haven't had a problem since . . . that is, until today.
He recently purchased several percussion instruments which he plays from 8am until 8 pm. I can no longer open my windows or have peace because of his drumming. I came home sick from work today. He was banging on his drums. I went over, rang the doorbell and asked if he would not play today because I needed rest due to my illness. He said ok and slammed the door shut. My neighbor had an indignant look on his face, almost as if he could not believe I had rang his doorbell.
Did I do something culturally insensitive? Did I violate some cultural norm by ringing his doorbell and making a reasonable request? Oh, when I returned home, he banged his drums very loud for about 5 seconds and has not played since.
Greetings! I have a question for those with specific understanding of South Korean culture.
My immediate next door neighbor is originally from South Korea. He (~ age 64) and his 84 year old mother have lived in their house much before I moved in 5 years ago. He's retired. Just over 2 years ago we had a misunderstanding which forced me to call the police. Because he is retired, he began staying up late at night watching action movies after he purchased a surround sound system. He'd watch movies with the system full blast. I work and get up at 4am. After many nights of this I spoke to him. He stopped for 2 weeks but went right back watching movies as before. I spoke to him a second time and informed him I'd call the police if he continued. Sure enough, I ended up calling the police. We became cordial with each other after that incident and haven't had a problem since . . . that is, until today.
He recently purchased several percussion instruments which he plays from 8am until 8 pm. I can no longer open my windows or have peace because of his drumming. I came home sick from work today. He was banging on his drums. I went over, rang the doorbell and asked if he would not play today because I needed rest due to my illness. He said ok and slammed the door shut. My neighbor had an indignant look on his face, almost as if he could not believe I had rang his doorbell.
Did I do something culturally insensitive? Did I violate some cultural norm by ringing his doorbell and making a reasonable request? Oh, when I returned home, he banged his drums very loud for about 5 seconds and has not played since.
No, you were not culturally insensitive.
Has he/they lived here (states) for some time? If so, he should know better than to disturb neighbors on their down/off time.
I lived in South Korea for a long time. They should be used to having neighbors. That being said, the have the ability to both create and ignore a lot of noise. Everywhere I've ever lived, it's always been very loud when you have the windows open, and even when you have them closed.
That being said, it sounds like the old guy just wants to play the drums, and finding it frustrating that he can't seem to find an acceptable time.
I lived in South Korea for a long time. They should be used to having neighbors. That being said, the have the ability to both create and ignore a lot of noise. Everywhere I've ever lived, it's always been very loud when you have the windows open, and even when you have them closed.
That being said, it sounds like the old guy just wants to play the drums, and finding it frustrating that he can't seem to find an acceptable time.
For clarities sake, I play percussion at home from time to time; maybe once every few weeks. My neighbor would tell me he liked my drumming but that he had no rhythm. I suggested he get a set of drums and practice. Geez! What a mistake that was! I assumed he would only play once in a while as do I, or for short periods of time during the day. Never did I assume he would unrhythmically bang on drums for 12 hours a day. I mean, how does it not cross your mind that you're disrupting your neighbor's peace? One should always consider one's neighbor, so I think.
It's also possible that the OP's neighbor has a hearing problem. That's not uncommon with seniors. The OP said the neighbor's age is around 64. What's loud and disturbing for you might not seem very loud to him. That doesn't mean he's deaf, but just that sounds need to be louder for him, or it just doesn't occur to him how loud it is. Perhaps you can find a way to tactfully suggest he might consider having his hearing tested. There are hearing centers that don't charge for hearing tests. The reason is that if a person needs hearing aids, the person may decide to buy from the center. If you go to a medical specialist, they may charge, although if he has Social Security medical coverage and supplemental health insurance, any charges should be pretty low for an out-of-pocket expense.
Have you considered recording (from your place) his drumming, etc., that make loud sounds, and let him hear it for himself? Have you asked any other neighbors if they can also hear the noise, and if it's disturbing to them?
It's also possible that he might have a large buildup of wax plugging his ears, which would also make hearing for him more difficult. The wax can be removed. If it is not to large of a buildup, there are over-the-counter solutions, etc. to soften and allow the wax to drain out of the ears. If it's a large buildup, he may need professional assistance to remove it. A quick exam can determine if the plug is large or not.
It's also possible that the OP's neighbor has a hearing problem. That's not uncommon with seniors. The OP said the neighbor's age is around 64. What's loud and disturbing for you might not seem very loud to him. That doesn't mean he's deaf, but just that sounds need to be louder for him, or it just doesn't occur to him how loud it is. Perhaps you can find a way to tactfully suggest he might consider having his hearing tested. There are hearing centers that don't charge for hearing tests. The reason is that if a person needs hearing aids, the person may decide to buy from the center. If you go to a medical specialist, they may charge, although if he has Social Security medical coverage and supplemental health insurance, any charges should be pretty low for an out-of-pocket expense.
Have you considered recording (from your place) his drumming, etc., that make loud sounds, and let him hear it for himself? Have you asked any other neighbors if they can also hear the noise, and if it's disturbing to them?
It's also possible that he might have a large buildup of wax plugging his ears, which would also make hearing for him more difficult. The wax can be removed. If it is not to large of a buildup, there are over-the-counter solutions, etc. to soften and allow the wax to drain out of the ears. If it's a large buildup, he may need professional assistance to remove it. A quick exam can determine if the plug is large or not.
Funny ha! ha!
Trust me! I ain't about to dig into my neighbor's ears to gage his wax depth. F*** that! I'll let the Cops do that next time I call them.
Trust me! I ain't about to dig into my neighbor's ears to gage his wax depth. F*** that! I'll let the Cops do that next time I call them.
LOL! No, that wasn't meant to start digging around in your neighbor's ears. I doubt the cops would do that as well. A big glob of ear wax can look pretty gross and nasty. That's why I said let a specialist or physician do it.
The neighbor can use the over-the-counter earwax removal solution to treat himself. Never use Q-tips. That can just pack the wax in even deeper. If the wax removal solution doesn't help, then he should see a hearing specialist. On the other hand, if there is damage to the hair cells in the cochlea (beyond the ear drum), that can be determined by a specialist. Such damage occurs because of exposure to loud sounds as well as old age.
Since it was said he stopped the noise for a while, but then started back up again, he might also be having some memory issues.
I think since he's willing to tone it down when asked, calling the cops on him seems like it was a bit excessive.
It's not a cultural thing when it comes to making a lot of noise and disturbing the peace. There's nothing particularly in South Korea that says annoy your neighbors or don't worry about them if they're annoyed. I think he's probably a bit weird/isolated because he's living with his elderly mother and no one else so needs stuff to do. That guess about him possibly being a little bit hard of hearing sounds plausible as well.
I lived in South Korea (Seoul and Taegu) for four years. Most Koreans are respectful of others living in such close quarters, but they occasionally also have their a holes who are usually men in the 50s and 60s. I would say if you called the police on him, he now respects you more knowing that you are not a pushover. Do not worry about being culturally insensitive; he knows damn well what he is doing.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
