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I have always been terrible at finding consoling words when someone needs them. I am probably the world's worst at it and if I'm not ready in advance, all I can usually utter is "Man, that sucks" in my most sympathetic and caring voice.
I could ask someone how they're doing and they could say "A wild pack of gorillas mauled and killed my entire family. Then, while I was in grief counseling I was mistakenly thought to be a criminal and thrown in jail where I was gang-raped by a bunch of prisoners. After my release, I was hit by a bus and broke half the bones in my body and now I'm paralyzed from the waist down for the rest of my life. During physical therapy after the accident, I met a physical therapist whom I fell in love with. She took me back to her place where I then found out she was a man. Shortly thereafter, I went to the gas station and bought a lottery ticket. I nabbed the winning lottery ticket but so did a million other people and all I got was a $1. I sued the bus company for some money but lost the case and used my home as collateral to pay for the lawyer. The lawyer now owns my home and I've lost everything," and all I could probably muster up in the face of all that is a simple "Man, that sucks."
I don't do it to be rude and it's not that I don't care... I just don't want to say the wrong thing and sound unsympathetic or uncaring and at the same time the only thing I can think to say is "Man, that sucks."
This post made me laugh
Hey I'm right there with you, if I'm not prepared I too will just say, Man- that sucks.
On the flip side of this, how do you respond when some well meaning friend tells you during a tough time "I'll pray for you".... ?? If they only knew how useless that feels, but it's probably just their version of "man that sucks".
What do you say when someone is going through a tough time, like losing a loved one or suffering some other big loss? Most Christians I know say, "I'll keep you in my prayers." I usually say, "I'll keep you in my thoughts" or "Let me know if there's anything I can do". The whole "I'll keep you in my thoughts" doesn't sound very considerate, though. And sometimes there really isn't anything you can do for the person, so that negates the second one. Is there anything that I can say that will show the person I care, but realize I can't really do anything about the situation? Obviously, I'm not going to be praying.
I have always been terrible at finding consoling words when someone needs them. I am probably the world's worst at it and if I'm not ready in advance, all I can usually utter is "Man, that sucks" in my most sympathetic and caring voice.
I don't do it to be rude and it's not that I don't care... I just don't want to say the wrong thing and sound unsympathetic or uncaring and at the same time the only thing I can think to say is "Man, that sucks."
Same basically, sometimes I'm like "Oh, I'm so sorry" and that's it.
"I'll be thinking of you."
I admit a couple of times I've said, "I'll say a prayer for her," if I know the person speaks that language AND doesn't know me very well.
I was jazzing a friend who is a committed Christian about her constant checking of her cellphone and gadgets, and asked why she must keep checking if she doesn't intend to respond immediately. She said, lamely, "Once a friend text me and asked me to pray for her in her situation, so I answered her right away." I said, "So what if you didn't answer her, wouldn't she know that you've said the prayer, and for that matter, couldn't you just assume she thinks you did, and you don't do it?" (She and I have been having some very interesting discussions lately. I honestly think she is more Buddhist-like, and simply learned to associate certain positive behaviors and restrictions with being Christian. I told her, hey, you can avoid drugs and alcohol and be chaste without believing in Jesus, you can live that way because you want to."
Like I said, we're having some fun.
Speaking of alcohol, I might say, "Hey, come on over to my house and we'll have a shot of Laphroiag (single-malt Scotch, lovely stuff) and drink a toast to [insert name]".
I personally don't like "I'll keep you in my prayers" or "We'll be praying for you". Having been immersed in that world, I find it condescending and apathetic.
Generally, they are either lying......... or regretting that their "prayer list" just got a little longer.
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