How do you deal with your religious relatives? (believe, born, afterlife) - - City-Data Forum

wintertao · 01-20-2011, 02:24 PM

Thru the Holidays til now I had a couple of strange ones:

Lady X: "You know until Jesus was born no one had ever seen Halleys Comet that is clearly proof something happened"

I'm a bit of an amateur astronomer since I was a teen and a big fan of Carl Sagan so knew this wasn't true...when I told her the folks in China saw Halleys Comet in 200 bc she accused me of being narrow minded

We had a death in the family recently and they seized on this:

Lady Z: " We just had sweet XXXXX pass away on Jan 16 and Psalm 116 talks about death that is clearly a sign from God since she died on Jan 16 !"

After rolling my eyes and fighting back the urge to ask about all the Christians who died on Jan 15 or 17 I just bit my lip.

It seems to me the main purpose religion still holds is to control people (a) and (b) shield people from the pain of death - most know its not true.

I wouldn't tell a child dying of cancer there is no afterlife....I would tell them I believe in heaven but not not hell.

~ W

Yzette · 01-20-2011, 03:00 PM

That would irritate me to no end. It's okay for your relatives to "bring up" their gods, but when you reply with your science, you are being "narrow-minded?"

Please.

I don't know if it's because my family and friends know me to be a smart-aleck, or what, but they don't mention stuff like that to me. I'd have probably said something like, "Actually, the Chinese saw the comet 200 years prior. That is why Jewish people go out for Chinese food on Christmas."

Hey, it makes just as much sense as Lady X's comment. In fact, it would be fun to observe her reaction. I'm imagining deer in the headlights, maybe the sound of grasshoppers.

Snark, and eventually they will shut up. That's my experience, at least.

Eresh · 01-20-2011, 03:22 PM

I have some real gems for relatives. I just ignore them, and they leave me alone.
Though given the gene pool I come, I sometimes I wonder if I was sent home from the hospital with the wrong family when I was born.

Dusty Rhodes · 01-20-2011, 04:53 PM

How do you deal with your religious relatives?

I have one brother who takes his children to sunday school and church, he doesn't discuss religion with any of us, that's about as close to religion my family gets.

Dusty Rhodes · 01-20-2011, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Avienne

That would irritate me to no end. It's okay for your relatives to "bring up" their gods, but when you reply with your science, you are being "narrow-minded?"

Please.

I don't know if it's because my family and friends know me to be a smart-aleck, or what, but they don't mention stuff like that to me. I'd have probably said something like, "Actually, the Chinese saw the comet 200 years prior. That is why Jewish people go out for Chinese food on Christmas."

Hey, it makes just as much sense as Lady X's comment. In fact, it would be fun to observe her reaction. I'm imagining deer in the headlights, maybe the sound of grasshoppers.

Snark, and eventually they will shut up. That's my experience, at least.

Oh Yeah, if they can make stuff up, so can we. It's the ole "what's good for the goose...." thing. When folks make up mythology, or even quote mythology, I make it up as I go along, or actually cite quotes if I really want to confuse them.

Goodpasture · 01-20-2011, 06:44 PM

How do you deal with your religious relatives?

When religion comes up I tell them I'll pray for them.

peppermint · 01-20-2011, 09:21 PM

Typically I ignore them, but I've never heard the stupidity you did. Our relatives are fairly scholarly so it turns to the Greek and Hebrew translations, etc. It's just a higher level of superstition.

On a slightly different note, we really need to write down these little gems and compile some sort of book for atheists.

Wallisdj · 01-20-2011, 09:26 PM

Easy. Treat them like family. Just like I treat strangers: like family.

Everyone is brain damaged. We recognize the extent of damage more in family members.

We are not monkeys who can afford to cull the "lame" and sick. But I can still tell a family member to f-off and still love him/her at the very same time.

Loving someone is not being nice and sweet all the time. Sometimes a good, swift kick in the you-know-whats is just as much a loving gesture as a hug and a kiss.

Loving someone does not mean having to sacrifice one's own personal thoughts and feelings to another person, who, if they were really loving, wouldn't impose their thoughts, beliefs, and what-not on any one else.

Loving someone does not mean that I have to save you from whatever delusion I happen to believe is reality or truth. I cannot even save myself from pyschological mess I in that prevents me from perceiving even an inkling of the absolute truth.

cncracer · 01-21-2011, 05:50 AM

In my close family I seldom have a problem. My wife is a Diest, and daughter seems to follow my train of thought. There are time when my wife thinks I am too harsh on individuals who push religion, I think I am too easy so nothing really changes there.
In my siblings I have one sister who is protestant. We agree to disagree on the issue of religion, with the other sibling we debate not on religion but on who is the best Atheist. I think it is neck and neck in truth, but it is still fun to expand on what we are doing to expand the free thought process. My parents have always allowed us to find our own level of acceptance, with my Mother having the same view on some religions as I do, and my father being somewhat relaxed on his views.
When you expand out to my cousins it get complex. The relatives I am close to are a mix of protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, and Atheist. I think it is about an equal mix. We have one Catholic in the family, but I have very little in common with her, and we seldom see each other. Most of the family feels her catholic view was more a method of getting attention from the family. It seems to have isolated her from those who see her choice as a regression into the dark ages.
All in all I think we do well in accepting the different views. No arguments, just discussions on issues which never flare into a flame or even smoke thus far.

Dusty Rhodes · 01-21-2011, 08:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cncracer

In my close family I seldom have a problem. My wife is a Diest, and daughter seems to follow my train of thought. There are time when my wife thinks I am too harsh on individuals who push religion, I think I am too easy so nothing really changes there.
In my siblings I have one sister who is protestant. We agree to disagree on the issue of religion, with the other sibling we debate not on religion but on who is the best Atheist. I think it is neck and neck in truth, but it is still fun to expand on what we are doing to expand the free thought process. My parents have always allowed us to find our own level of acceptance, with my Mother having the same view on some religions as I do, and my father being somewhat relaxed on his views.
When you expand out to my cousins it get complex. The relatives I am close to are a mix of protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, and Atheist. I think it is about an equal mix. We have one Catholic in the family, but I have very little in common with her, and we seldom see each other. Most of the family feels her catholic view was more a method of getting attention from the family. It seems to have isolated her from those who see her choice as a regression into the dark ages.
All in all I think we do well in accepting the different views. No arguments, just discussions on issues which never flare into a flame or even smoke thus far.

Are you saying that my name has not showed up on the list of "best Atheists", then obviously y'all are not being comprehensive in your list making!!!!