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Old 09-05-2011, 02:59 PM
 
Location: Dallas
1,004 posts, read 523,363 times
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Per my parents request, I was summoned to give the family remarks in regards to my uncles death. Just FYI, my parents are still quite in denial as to my lack of faith (even after seven years). Never have I felt so awkward in my life. My remarks were not in the least bit spiritual and admittedly I feel guilty for conveying a bunch of "feel goods" when there was no sincerity behind any of it. This has happened before as I'm the youngest of four boys yet for some strange reason the most/only well spoken (and only atheist). Everyone began to cry and tell me how "anointed" I was, how I am "covered in the blood of Jesus" and "destined to do great things once the spirit moves me...." and at that moment I again realized how easy it is to convince anyone who simply has "faith".

Sorry for the rant guys but its been bothering me all weekend. Wish I would have said no but parents have a way of enforcing a certain level of guilt on their children at times.
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Old 09-05-2011, 03:33 PM
 
9,412 posts, read 11,741,560 times
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I'm sorry about your Uncle's death mike.

Funerals have a way of wringing out the religion in all of us.

Interestingly I gave the eulogy at my Dad's funeral 2 years ago. He was a lapsed catholic and he always wanted to be buried with the catholic Moderator cut: deleted

I searched the bible for something inspiring or deep to read and couldn't find a thing. Absolutely useless book for cheery parting words to the dead that's for sure.

My Mum and most of my brothers and sisters are pretty agnostic/atheist so the whole funeral was all about keeping face. So trite.

I for one won't be having a funeral and no-one better mention ay gods when I die...or I'll come back and haunt them

Last edited by june 7th; 09-06-2011 at 08:51 AM..
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Old 09-05-2011, 03:41 PM
 
16,300 posts, read 24,978,161 times
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You never mentioned your relationship with your uncle. Was he someone in your life, or just the uncle you saw a couple of times a year.

If you had a relationship with him, then you should have talked about the person you knew, his accomplishments, etc. If you didn't have a relationship, you should have declined.

Far too often the deceased is barely mentioned while they bloviate about some mythical character. Many a mouthpiece for god takes advantage of there are a number of new faces in attendance.
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Old 09-05-2011, 04:03 PM
 
Location: Dallas
1,004 posts, read 523,363 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Asheville Native View Post
You never mentioned your relationship with your uncle. Was he someone in your life, or just the uncle you saw a couple of times a year.

If you had a relationship with him, then you should have talked about the person you knew, his accomplishments, etc. If you didn't have a relationship, you should have declined.

Far too often the deceased is barely mentioned while they bloviate about some mythical character. Many a mouthpiece for god takes advantage of there are a number of new faces in attendance.
Didn't even know the guy......

I didn't reference the Bible, didn't mention any Gods (as that goes against my lack of belief) yet I was appaled by how many attendees extrapolated some sense of religiosity from my statements, which was essentially focused on keeping in touch with family. No mention of God yet I'm somehow "anointed". I find it frustrating.
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Old 09-05-2011, 04:10 PM
 
16,300 posts, read 24,978,161 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moddestmike View Post
Didn't even know the guy......
WOW! And your parents asked you to speak.............. strange
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Old 09-05-2011, 05:34 PM
 
Location: around the way
656 posts, read 933,204 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moddestmike View Post
Didn't even know the guy......

I didn't reference the Bible, didn't mention any Gods (as that goes against my lack of belief) yet I was appaled by how many attendees extrapolated some sense of religiosity from my statements, which was essentially focused on keeping in touch with family. No mention of God yet I'm somehow "anointed". I find it frustrating.
All you can do is present the speech and do your best to strike a balance between being honest and being respectful of the audience's feelings. Whatever else people take away from it is their business, not yours.
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Old 09-05-2011, 07:04 PM
 
39,205 posts, read 10,887,543 times
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Originally Posted by Stavemaster View Post
All you can do is present the speech and do your best to strike a balance between being honest and being respectful of the audience's feelings. Whatever else people take away from it is their business, not yours.
Couldn't have said it better meself and Mike - no need to apologize for he 'rant'. It's one of the reasons we're here. Support.
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Old 09-05-2011, 07:40 PM
 
Location: Florida -
8,767 posts, read 10,859,665 times
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Interesting thread. I've probably conducted about 25 funerals, mostly for Christians whom I knew. Those readily lend themselves to a 'joyful celebration of life' and a positive claim on the promises of the Bible, not a 'death dirge.' In fact, the Bible admonishes believers "not to grieve, like those who have no hope."

On the other hand, I've also conducted funerals for non-Christians, who had no one else to conduct a service for them. These are without a doubt the most difficult funerals to conduct. As others have suggested, the Bible has absolutely nothing cheery or uplifting to say about the death of a non-believer. Still, I've done them as honestly as I could ... without "trying to preach the deceased into heaven" --

Funerals are for those left behind, not for the deceased. When confronted by the death of a loved one, many honestly confront their own vews of life, death, purpose and meaning issues. The Bible is really the only source that has anything credible to say about those things .... all anyone else can do is only speculate.
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Old 09-06-2011, 12:34 AM
 
Location: City-Data Forum
7,945 posts, read 4,746,778 times
Reputation: 1333
Quote:
Originally Posted by moddestmike View Post
Per my parents request, I was summoned to give the family remarks in regards to my uncles death. Just FYI, my parents are still quite in denial as to my lack of faith (even after seven years). Never have I felt so awkward in my life. My remarks were not in the least bit spiritual and admittedly I feel guilty for conveying a bunch of "feel goods" when there was no sincerity behind any of it. This has happened before as I'm the youngest of four boys yet for some strange reason the most/only well spoken (and only atheist). Everyone began to cry and tell me how "anointed" I was, how I am "covered in the blood of Jesus" and "destined to do great things once the spirit moves me...." and at that moment I again realized how easy it is to convince anyone who simply has "faith".

Sorry for the rant guys but its been bothering me all weekend. Wish I would have said no but parents have a way of enforcing a certain level of guilt on their children at times.
Don't be sorry at all. their desires blind them (the anti-agnostics), and their pride seeks to call itself annointed. you are not at fault for wishing not to harm their bliss. they are at fault for sloth, their lies which you spoke did nothing to graven their already pitiful condition. your sin was merely your fained approval of their false opinions and desires. the guilt you feel is not a manifestation of doing bad, as is commonly thought, but a manifestation of the war between your desire to tell the truth and your fear of their reactions. your story is a common one, among those who are not sick with the desire for immortality. Mark 2:17. it is most true that the sick, who call themselves anointed, have made themselves sheep, to be bought by any man with a stick; regardless of his actual trade. such beasts as they have sought to become, could only see the Park Ranger as a threat to their well-being with grandma, and her new nose.
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Old 09-06-2011, 06:20 AM
 
Location: Vermont
10,311 posts, read 11,237,378 times
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You did the right thing. You spoke of the loss of your uncle, you were true to your own beliefs. You can't control what interpretations people will cling to, especially in a time of grief.
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