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Old 11-29-2011, 02:45 AM
 
Location: The Pacific Northwest
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I have a fairly petty dilemma. I have a friend who is about to undergo a pretty major surgery, and I want to express the feeling that I care about how the surgery goes and want everything to turn out well. I feel like the common expression is "you'll be in my thoughts and prayers." However, I do not pray so I don't feel comfortable saying that. At the same time, I feel like saying "you'll be in my thoughts" comes short of conveying the meaning I'd like to convey.

For all the atheists/agnostics: Have you been in such a situation? If so, is there any similar phrase you would recommend that gets the aforementioned sentiment across? Or am I just putting too much thought into this? Thanks.
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Old 11-29-2011, 02:49 AM
 
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I just make it clear to such people that I have for them and that I can do anything they need in that time or be present if and when they require it. The gift of ones time is the best gift one can give and I make it clear my time is their time.

Phrases like "I will pray for you" to me just sound like "I am not going to do anything at all of any actual use, but rather than admit that I will act like I am doing something by talking to myself in my spare time".

Just let the person know that your time is their time and you will make yourself available to them in any way you can if they ask you to. The fact they are in your thoughts will be as obvious as the nose on your face when you do that and can be left unsaid.
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Old 11-29-2011, 09:24 AM
 
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Give him positive vibes, but instead of the worthless platitudes of the hollow and meaningless "I'll talk to my imaginary friend on your behalf" but offer to support him, or his family. Can I drive your family to visit, can I walk your dog.

I am a firm believer in "two hands working accomplish more than a million clasped in prayer".

It's not a real issue with me, I don't pray, and I don't lie about it. I know some are sincere when they say they will (though it is still completely a waste of their time), and others use it to merely do nothing, or take however long it takes to say the persons name, then spend a great deal of time patting themselves on the back about 'helping' someone else.
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Old 11-29-2011, 02:09 PM
 
Location: The Pacific Northwest
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Thanks for the replies. Probably totally overanalyzing, LOL but for future reference as well these are some good ideas.
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Old 11-29-2011, 02:09 PM
 
1,745 posts, read 1,883,796 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Burnt Sage View Post
I have a fairly petty dilemma. I have a friend who is about to undergo a pretty major surgery, and I want to express the feeling that I care about how the surgery goes and want everything to turn out well. I feel like the common expression is "you'll be in my thoughts and prayers." However, I do not pray so I don't feel comfortable saying that. At the same time, I feel like saying "you'll be in my thoughts" comes short of conveying the meaning I'd like to convey.

For all the atheists/agnostics: Have you been in such a situation? If so, is there any similar phrase you would recommend that gets the aforementioned sentiment across? Or am I just putting too much thought into this? Thanks.

"You'll be in my heart and on my mind"
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Old 11-29-2011, 06:03 PM
 
Location: Sitting beside Walden Pond
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I think "You will be in my thoughts" is very nice.
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Old 11-29-2011, 07:48 PM
 
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Yes. "You'll be in my thoughts" is perfect. Your friend will be grateful for your thoughtfulness. It's what I'd say. Just say it warmly; mean it.
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Old 11-29-2011, 09:03 PM
 
Location: Golden, CO
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Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
Yes. "You'll be in my thoughts" is perfect. Your friend will be grateful for your thoughtfulness. It's what I'd say. Just say it warmly; mean it.
Yeah, that is what I say, but giving of one's time is even better.
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Old 11-29-2011, 09:07 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Hueffenhardt View Post
Yeah, that is what I say, but giving of one's time is even better.
For sure. Being there for a friend in need is truly being a friend.
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Old 11-29-2011, 09:10 PM
 
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You can also say "you'll be in my thoughts and prayers" meaning your intentions. "Prayers" can also take on a more secular meaning of "intentions". Prayer doesn't always have to be towards a deity. So don't feel like you can't use that phrase just cause you're atheist. Plus, if your friend already knows you're atheist, then they'll know what you mean by it.
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