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Old 12-10-2011, 07:20 PM
 
Location: Sherman Oaks, CA
6,239 posts, read 15,451,258 times
Reputation: 8110

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and while I was expecting a religious service, because the woman who passed was heavily Christian, I was offended by two things:

1. Being told it was "God's plan" to take her at age 48 from colon cancer, leaving her two teenaged children behind.

2. Being witnessed to with the ending prayer, something along the lines of "This would be a good time for anyone here who has not been saved to take Jesus into your hearts..." blah blah blah.

First of all, I couldn't have faith in a God who would have a plan to take a mother from her children who still need her desperately.

Secondly, although I consider myself a Christian in the sense that I believe in God and Jesus, I haven't set foot into a church for a regular Sunday service in several years. I feel "saved", anyway, and yet I still have more questions than answers about God, etc. I do have faith in God, but zero faith in organized religion.

I don't really want to get into a theological discussion here, but I need a place to vent and this seemed to be as good a place as any.

Last edited by SandyCo; 12-10-2011 at 07:52 PM..
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Old 12-10-2011, 07:34 PM
 
16,300 posts, read 24,969,718 times
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Since you didn't mention the absence of they at least mentioning your friend, I'm assuming they at least talked about her as a person.

As a firefighter I attended the funeral of a firefighter in a neighboring department that died in the line of duty.

He belonged to an uber-fundy pentecostal church and his preacher officiated. This preacher never mentioned or even acknowledged the man in the flag draped coffin in the chapel, but having a large crowd (hundreds of firefighters from all across the state) he chose instead to express his very narrow, ignorant and visceral hatred of everyone that did not follow his narrow views, to the point he singled out the southern baptists (a dominate religion here in the buy bull belt) and made it very clear they were going to hell for their wicked beliefs.

As for venting here, go for it.....

I think you will find that while atheists don't believe in a god, the fact others do really isn't the issue, but organized religion is, with its agenda and its power to influence people to hate for no other reason than to hate.

Last edited by Asheville Native; 12-10-2011 at 07:42 PM..
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Old 12-10-2011, 07:34 PM
 
Location: FL
1,727 posts, read 2,176,466 times
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Sometimes the phrase "God's plan" does seem kind of shallow and inapropriate. Although, for the longest time I firmly believed that "things happen for a reason", lately I am no so sure about that.

I still believe that it's up to us to try to make the best of even the worst situations. After all, what's the alternative, to give up? Of course it's going to be extremly tough on her kids. Losing someone is never easy. Some situations seem unbearable. A young mother leaving her young children behind. A parent losing their child...Those are probably two of the worst scenarios I can think of.

I hope your friends kids have a decent support system. I'm sorry for your loss and for theirs.
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Old 12-10-2011, 07:55 PM
 
Location: Sherman Oaks, CA
6,239 posts, read 15,451,258 times
Reputation: 8110
Wow! Yes, she was mentioned. I couldn't imagine attending a service like the one you described! I'm stunned that the preacher decided to capitalize on his captive audience. Yuck!

Thanks so much for the support.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Asheville Native View Post
Since you didn't mention the absence of they at least mentioning your friend, I'm assuming they at least talked about her as a person.

As a firefighter I attended the funeral of a firefighter in a neighboring department that died in the line of duty.

He belonged to an uber-fundy pentecostal church and his preacher officiated. This preacher never mentioned or even acknowledged the man in the flag draped coffin in the chapel, but having a large crowd (hundreds of firefighters from all across the state) he chose instead to express his very narrow, ignorant and visceral hatred of everyone that did not follow his narrow views, to the point he singled out the southern baptists (a dominate religion here in the buy bull belt) and made it very clear they were going to hell for their wicked beliefs.
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Old 12-10-2011, 08:00 PM
 
Location: Sherman Oaks, CA
6,239 posts, read 15,451,258 times
Reputation: 8110
I agree, we should make the best of awful situations as much as we possibly can. Giving up isn't an option! Her children do have a wonderful support system, but no one can take their mom's place. Thanks for the condolences. Much appreciated!

Quote:
Originally Posted by looking4answers12 View Post
Sometimes the phrase "God's plan" does seem kind of shallow and inapropriate. Although, for the longest time I firmly believed that "things happen for a reason", lately I am no so sure about that.

I still believe that it's up to us to try to make the best of even the worst situations. After all, what's the alternative, to give up? Of course it's going to be extremly tough on her kids. Losing someone is never easy. Some situations seem unbearable. A young mother leaving her young children behind. A parent losing their child...Those are probably two of the worst scenarios I can think of.

I hope your friends kids have a decent support system. I'm sorry for your loss and for theirs.
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Old 12-10-2011, 08:35 PM
 
9,412 posts, read 11,736,470 times
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I'm sorry about your friend. Death is so final
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Old 12-10-2011, 08:57 PM
 
Location: NE Florida
9,362 posts, read 22,808,340 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SandyCo View Post
and while I was expecting a religious service, because the woman who passed was heavily Christian, I was offended by two things:

1. Being told it was "God's plan" to take her at age 48 from colon cancer, leaving her two teenaged children behind.

2. Being witnessed to with the ending prayer, something along the lines of "This would be a good time for anyone here who has not been saved to take Jesus into your hearts..." blah blah blah.

First of all, I couldn't have faith in a God who would have a plan to take a mother from her children who still need her desperately.

Secondly, although I consider myself a Christian in the sense that I believe in God and Jesus, I haven't set foot into a church for a regular Sunday service in several years. I feel "saved", anyway, and yet I still have more questions than answers about God, etc. I do have faith in God, but zero faith in organized religion.

I don't really want to get into a theological discussion here, but I need a place to vent and this seemed to be as good a place as any.
It wasn't your service. It was the deceased's. When it's your turn, it can be your spin. If you get offended by that type service, don't go to the funerals of those who have those beliefs.
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Old 12-10-2011, 09:27 PM
 
Location: Sherman Oaks, CA
6,239 posts, read 15,451,258 times
Reputation: 8110
I appreciate your sympathy and understanding.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnolia Bloom View Post
It wasn't your service. It was the deceased's. When it's your turn, it can be your spin. If you get offended by that type service, don't go to the funerals of those who have those beliefs.
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Old 12-10-2011, 09:49 PM
 
Location: NE Florida
9,362 posts, read 22,808,340 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SandyCo View Post
I appreciate your sympathy and understanding.
The sympathy and understanding is for the deceased and family.

The last funeral I went to was for a deacon from a very conservative African American church. In addition to those from the church were two Messianic Jews, some Muslims, non believers and my immediate family- liberal Christians. And after the service, all of us got together, shared food, photographs and stories of the deceased and love.

I can only hope that my family and friends do the same when my time comes. As political as I am, I would hope they would go to the service and then party down and love one another for a couple of hours after the service.

Intolerance goes both ways, however... the minister for my grandfather's funeral was his nephew, a southern Baptist minister from S.C. When we all came back to the house and my GM, who had just lost her DH of 50+ years, had a drink, he immediately got in his car and drove straight home to SC rather than to have stayed around the consumption of that evil alcohol...

Last edited by Magnolia Bloom; 12-10-2011 at 09:58 PM..
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Old 12-10-2011, 09:56 PM
 
Location: Sherman Oaks, CA
6,239 posts, read 15,451,258 times
Reputation: 8110
Yes, I understand that. This is why I didn't say or do anything to express my displeasure when I was there. I'd never be so rude.

I also hope everyone's funeral service is what they would wish it to be!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnolia Bloom View Post
The sympathy and understanding is for the deceased and family.
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