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I really don't (can't?) believe. It's not in me...I'm missing the God gene (or set of genes) or the...whatever. I tried for many years, even morphing "my" god into a goddess, then into a spirit...then into the earth...etc. Nope. Didn't work. I just don't believe it. It just seems 100% silly to me. BUT...I can see how it could be wonderful for some people. It must be nice never to feel alone, to feel you have this purpose, etc. When I first really embraced my atheism, that's the one thing I truly grieved over. I was just never going to be someone who had that emotional safety net.
I really don't know what to tell my children if they ever ask about God. I don't think they even know the word. They don't really know any Hebrew/Christian religious terms at all, actually. Nobody in my family or in my circle ever really uses them. Once in a while we catch something on History or Discovery about religion because I'm academically curious and so is my husband. Most often, these documentaries are Judeo/Christian, and that's what's mostly around us (in our town, etc.) so that's the God I'm thinking of in this question. But I guess it would apply to a belief in any god, really.
In fact, I wore "devil horns" (glittery ones--sue me, I'm a girl) for Halloween one year, and after I had put them away in the garage, my kids dug them up and pretended to be "a kitty." They have NO clue what a devil is, they don't even have a concept for it. (At that time my kids were 4 and 7.)
Important to note is that my older son has special needs. He has an intellectual disability and autism. (IOW, autistic plus what at one time was called mentally retarded or mentally disabled based on IQ; not all autistic people are.) So it's not as much of a surprise that he's never picked up on anything religious and asked about it.
My younger child, though emotionally pretty young for his age, is not autistic and is intellectually spot-on and he's the one I'm actually wondering more about. Right now, he is almost 6. His older brother is almost 9. But once he asks, guaranteed the older one will ask, too. They're peanut butter and jelly that way.
If they ask me about God, what should I say? I mean although I just don't believe, I know I could be wrong since it wouldn't exactly be the first time. And almost in a Santa Claus-esque way, I would hate to take that comfortable mythology from my children if they do have it in them to have such beliefs.
Any ideas would be so very welcome. Thanks much in advance.
Wow, you've got quite a dilemma. I started a thread not too long ago asking what atheists/agnostics do or say........when one asks or when you need to correct behavior.......I was raised on religion so I had the opposite problem...I'm thinking about future grandchildren. Oh man, can't wait. You know a nice 20-early something who would date my son? He's an uber-Christian, I must warn you. Sorry, this is about you and your problems......how would I handle the "god" problem?
Skirt around it as much as possible but at some point you gotta say something so just explain how some people believe in a "higher power" than ourselves and if they want to investigate it further then you will be happy to provide the reading material to explain God and Jesus......and then give them a children's bible because the real thing will scare the bejeezus out of them. Nothing wrong with a few fairy tales and it will probably satisfy the curiosity.
If they ask me about God, what should I say? I mean although I just don't believe, I know I could be wrong since it wouldn't exactly be the first time. And almost in a Santa Claus-esque way, I would hate to take that comfortable mythology from my children if they do have it in them to have such beliefs.
I would tell my children the following:
Some people believe in a spirit called God which made everything that you see around you - all the birds and trees and animals and people and even the stars in the sky. However, this belief in God came from a very long time ago. Way back then, people knew much less about the world than they do now.
Today, we have science which tells us far more about everything than ever before. It tells us in tiny little pieces how all the birds and trees and animals and people and even the stars in the sky got here. That's why I like science a lot. It's really amazing. I want you to learn more about it.
Even though I don't believe in God, it's still important to a lot of people and it's part of how they live. That's why you should learn what they believe too.
Last edited by BigCityDreamer; 03-22-2012 at 08:44 PM..
I am curious. What do you tell your children about the tooth fairy, santa claus, or the easter bunny?
I would imagine whatever your explanation is for that, would just as easily apply to "god".
If you tell them they aren't real, but people like to play pretend, then say that.
If you let your children think they are real, then why not just continue letting them belive whatever they believe?. If they are so young they still believe in santa claus then they are not old enough to grapple with metaphysical concepts.
I am curious. What do you tell your children about the tooth fairy, santa claus, or the easter bunny?
I would imagine whatever your explanation is for that, would just as easily apply to "god".
If you tell them they aren't real, but people like to play pretend, then say that.
If you let your children think they are real, then why not just continue letting them belive whatever they believe?. If they are so young they still believe in santa claus then they are not old enough to grapple with metaphysical concepts.
Thanks, Jay, but it's not really the same thing. I can't tell them God isn't real but people like to play pretend. People who "believe" aren't pretending in order to have a nice story (or at least they don't think they are). It's a belief. At least that's how I understand it.
^^ Also, Jay, I don't know if you have children, but they always ask about concepts too early to understand them. Death...sex...why did Daddy have to move out. Kids never ask easy questions...at least the interesting ones never do.
Why do you have to program them in any way? If they ask you what you "believe," tell them what you "believe."
It's not like what anyone "believes" is "THE TRUTH."
Let them figure out what is true for them without parental indoctrination.
I don't wish to program them...it's exactly the opposite...*I* don't believe but if *they* want to believe I want them to understand that's okay too and that nobody really "knows."
I was wondering how other parents with a similar POV have handled the situation. ETA: But I guess all these answers really are giving me my answer. I will honestly tell them that nobody really knows, but some people believe XYZ. That's really very simple now that I think about it...thanks, everyone.
Obviously if they ask me what *I* believe I'll have to tell them I don't believe in any gods.
I still don't understand why you have to give them a directive statement about your beliefs - unless they ask you I don't see the reason for it.
You can educate them by giving them a plethora of different books on mythology, world religions, atheism, whatever you want . . . just have the reading material available . . .if they ask about church ask them if they want to go and arrange for them to go with a neighbor (again, you don't have to "declare" your beliefs to allow them to explore theirs).
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And almost in a Santa Claus-esque way, I would hate to take that comfortable mythology from my children if they do have it in them to have such beliefs.
