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Old 09-11-2013, 10:28 AM
 
Location: Somewhere out there.
6,894 posts, read 3,817,504 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mordant View Post
My deconversion happened after my kids were out of the nest, but if it hadn't, I would not turn it into some kind of event and have the spiritual equivalent of The Talk. That's over-thinking it. You are still in the shadow of your theistic taboos and think on some level that this is a portentous sea change that potentially is confusing or disturbing to young children and therefore must be "managed".

You can actually exist without church services. It doesn't require special permission or some kind of over-compensation. Once you overcome the faux guilt of actually having a whole day handed back to you on a silver platter, believe me, you'll find things to do.

I like Cruithne's suggestions the best ... sleep / cuddle in, pancakes for breakfast ... what more could you want? ;-) It's even therapeutic ... getting used to the idea that life isn't all striving to be good enough.

You can make your own family traditions and rituals centered around real people (your family) rather than imaginary ones. It's just as powerful and satisfying -- more so actually.
Quite so Mordant.
Life these days seems to be all about filling every gap in our lives - always rushing off here or there. Sometimes its nice just to be.
I like nothing better than spending a relaxing Sunday morning mooching about with my family. We don't get to do it every weekend. Sometimes other things in life get in the way - soccer games, events etc so I value it all the more when we do.
It occasionally crosses my mind as we sit there, the sun is shining, my plants are all watered, I've got my cup of tea, the kids are making a mess but enjoying themselves with eggs and pancake mix (actually traditionally we Brits have sugar and lemon on pancakes instead of syrup, so it also involves some lemon squeezing too) how blissful this is compared to having to drag yourself out of bed just to be bored in church. And my husband is happiest on a Sunday morning too. You can tell the way he hums around the house and plays with the kids.
I've started to think of it as a sort of 'Happy Atheists Day'.

To the OP, I agree about 'The Talk' too. I don't think it is worth making a big issue out of. If anything the family will probably appreciate the change. And if they ask it doesn't need to be huge issue either. You can give very vague answers, but if they really press the issue then just be honest and tell them how you feel. Honesty is the best policy as they say.
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Old 09-11-2013, 06:32 PM
 
Location: Space Coast
1,988 posts, read 4,649,110 times
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Originally Posted by Grandstander View Post
Since I quit attending religious services, I have used the time searching for a cure for ice cream headaches.
It's simple. Eat more ice cream (with loads of chocolate syrup).
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Old 09-11-2013, 07:26 PM
 
794 posts, read 1,200,430 times
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Sunday morning is much quieter than Saturday morning in the supermarket. Saturday is our wuiet family day, Sunday is shopping/errand day.
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Old 09-11-2013, 09:19 PM
 
Location: Sinking in the Great Salt Lake
13,144 posts, read 19,268,566 times
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Originally Posted by el1zabeth View Post
I have had a hard time believing in god for quite some time,and finally came to the conlcusion there isn't one. My husband and I have been going to church with our kids for the last 15 years, but recently quit going. He had issues with the last church we attended, and I just couldn't stomach it anymore. So, I'm trying to figure out what to do Sunday mornings now that we have nowhere to go. I talked to my oldest about my doubts(she has them too and was relieved), but our younger kids think we have been just taking a break from church. (My husband may return someday, but I won't.) I'm not sure what to tell my younger kids about this. I figure it would be gradual, and that it might be easier if we came up with a new Sunday tradition of sorts. Any ideas??
I shall pray for you, oh fallen one.

But fear not, his noodlyness is forgiving and still tastes wonderful after a couple days in the fridge.

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Old 09-11-2013, 11:41 PM
 
Location: California
30,788 posts, read 33,632,879 times
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I guess breaking out of the church-on-sunday mode is difficult (I wouldn't know) and some kind of structure is still necessary to feel like you are doing things right? If you HAVE to do something or make up a new tradition I suggest you keep it simple since your kids are going to grow up and not want any part of whatever you decide or find something else they want to do such a sport, a friend, a group, a hobby.... Personally, I vote for sleeping in and a having brunch, with an occasional family outing as time and money permit. It's just another Saturday now so don't sweat it.
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Old 09-12-2013, 07:40 AM
 
278 posts, read 256,355 times
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Just do whatever it is you enjoy doing, but now on Sundays. Now you will have more time to do that thing, without fear from the great celestial supervisor.
I would also ask for a refund on whatever tithing you have given over the years!
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Old 09-13-2013, 05:27 PM
 
51 posts, read 307,977 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by el1zabeth View Post
I have had a hard time believing in god for quite some time,and finally came to the conlcusion there isn't one. My husband and I have been going to church with our kids for the last 15 years, but recently quit going. He had issues with the last church we attended, and I just couldn't stomach it anymore. So, I'm trying to figure out what to do Sunday mornings now that we have nowhere to go. I talked to my oldest about my doubts(she has them too and was relieved), but our younger kids think we have been just taking a break from church. (My husband may return someday, but I won't.) I'm not sure what to tell my younger kids about this. I figure it would be gradual, and that it might be easier if we came up with a new Sunday tradition of sorts. Any ideas??



If you don't have to work on Sundays just spend it like any other day of the week. Do whatever you please. But some good suggestions would be to round up the kids and take them out for a mini vacation and have some fun. Short trip to the beach, lake or mountains etc. or check out some libraries or science and history museums. Just do something where you and your kids are either learning or being active. Maybe do some volunteer work and help out local communities?
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