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Old 12-17-2013, 08:49 AM
 
12,235 posts, read 9,905,449 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by awestover89 View Post
The religion aspect, to me, does change things slightly since religion is very important to some people. She tried rearranging our living room furniture when they first moved in and I put my foot down hard on that.
The issue at hand, as far as I am concerned, is not the religious symbolism. I don't know how long you have been married. But if Mom has been accustomed to micromanaging her son, she may be attempting to retain her influence within the marriage. Nothing good comes of that.

Be aware. It sounds like you are already being caring and considerate of their desires. Family after all. Good luck!
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Old 12-17-2013, 09:39 AM
 
Location: Somewhere out there.
6,867 posts, read 3,792,425 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
I think they sound nuts, but I also think this is a "pick your battles" kind of situation. You may want to concede this in order to take a firmer stand over something more important. I just feel like an inflatable nativity crosses so far over into the ridiculous, it loses any religious meaning.

You're perfectly right in your feelings, but with 8 people in the house and a certain amount of harmony to maintain (I feel bad for those 4 kids, being in such an uncertain situation), this might be something to let slide.

Inflatable nativity? Oh come on, that's comedy gold right there.
That was exactly my reaction.
I mean inflatable Santas are one thing - Santa is supposed to be jolly and a bit comical.
But somehow the touching (fictional) story of a poor, humble family, who had travelled many miles, the wife having to give birth to her baby in a stable, surrounded by farm animals and only being afforded that because of the kindness of an innkeeper, somehow doesn't seem to be at all well represented by a 10ft plastic illuminated inflatable. Maybe you could point out the irony?
I guess the backyard thing would be the answer... as long as it was hidden behind a very large bush...at the end of a very long garden...hopefully covered in snow.
You guys all have to live together and at the end of the day want to have a good Christmas and if religion is that important I'd be inclined to make a few concessions.

After Christmas is over I'd be asking some firm questions about when they think they might be moving out...
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Old 12-17-2013, 12:06 PM
 
Location: Austin
295 posts, read 312,932 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by awestover89 View Post
My in-laws, mother-in-law, father-in-law, and their four kids, are living with us until they can afford their own apartment. They are religious (Catholic), but I am atheist and my husband is a lapsed Catholic. He still believes, but in an extremely limited capacity (basically, there is some form of deity/God but the Bible/church is not accurate). My in-laws have an inflatable nativity scene that they want to put up in front of our house, but I really don't want it setup. My husband is indifferent, but my mother-in-law is adamant that it needs to be put up, and that even if we aren't religious, having a religious symbol won't hurt us. I'm not arguing that it will hurt us, but to me it's a principal. It is our house, and I feel that the decorations on our house should match our believes.

Am I overreacting? Just giving in and letting the decorations go up would be the easiest solution and would avoid a fight, but I don't want to set a precedent of allowing our rules/preferences to be overruled.
I think your husband needs to find an inflatable set of balls and tell his mom his-house-his-rules. Maybe he can use the Genesis verse about the son cleaving from his parents and joining his wife. Either that, or they can blow up the nativity in someone else's driveway and sleep in it.

In short, no you're not overreacting.
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Old 12-17-2013, 12:14 PM
 
428 posts, read 400,087 times
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Your house, your rules. If that isn't your cup of tea, play her game. Put up a large FFRF display right next to the nativity scene. If she feels personal beliefs are that important, then she shouldn't mind you showcasing yours.
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Old 12-17-2013, 03:59 PM
 
Location: Elko, NV
474 posts, read 771,430 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
The issue at hand, as far as I am concerned, is not the religious symbolism. I don't know how long you have been married. But if Mom has been accustomed to micromanaging her son, she may be attempting to retain her influence within the marriage. Nothing good comes of that.

Be aware. It sounds like you are already being caring and considerate of their desires. Family after all. Good luck!
No, that is definitely the case, and something that has been discussed before. This isn't the relationship forum, so I won't dwell too much, but she is extremely domineering over her entire family. There was a trend I noticed, I met my husband in college:

"Now that I'm in college, she will give me my space."
"Now that I'm 21, she will give me my space."
"Now that I've graduated, she will give me my space."
"Now that I have a job and my own apartment, she will give me my space."
"Now that I'm married, she will give me my space."
"Now that we have a house, she will give me my space."

His mentality has always been that a fight never solves anything, better to let her have her way and avoid a confrontation. With the kids in the house we try to keep arguments to a minimum and out of earshot, they are under enough stress, but my husband has finally started putting his foot down more and more since they moved in. I think having her around so much finally caused a tipping point. Before he would stand his ground on a few important issues, but it was very rare, since they've moved in he has taken my side on most issues and only given in on one or two minor issues.

Anyway, this all ended up as a moot point. They plugged the decoration in last night and the motor burned out. Father-in-law tried to fix it and couldn't put everything back together. It is now sitting in the trash.
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Old 12-17-2013, 04:12 PM
 
Location: Somewhere out there.
6,867 posts, read 3,792,425 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by awestover89 View Post

Anyway, this all ended up as a moot point. They plugged the decoration in last night and the motor burned out. Father-in-law tried to fix it and couldn't put everything back together. It is now sitting in the trash.

Hooray!
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Old 12-17-2013, 08:07 PM
 
40,099 posts, read 26,767,323 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
The issue at hand, as far as I am concerned, is not the religious symbolism. I don't know how long you have been married. But if Mom has been accustomed to micromanaging her son, she may be attempting to retain her influence within the marriage. Nothing good comes of that.
Be aware. It sounds like you are already being caring and considerate of their desires. Family after all. Good luck!
I usually stay out of these kinds of issues . . . but I agree with somebodynew. Get them out of your house and your life asap. No good can come of it, period . . . EVER.
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Old 12-17-2013, 09:03 PM
 
Location: Sitting beside Walden Pond
4,609 posts, read 4,116,499 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by awestover89 View Post
They plugged the decoration in last night and the motor burned out.
It sounds like you were going to let them put up the inflatable manger scene.

However, you were saved when a miracle happened. Praise the lord.
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Old 12-17-2013, 09:30 PM
 
7,802 posts, read 5,284,580 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by awestover89 View Post
Am I overreacting? Just giving in and letting the decorations go up would be the easiest solution and would avoid a fight, but I don't want to set a precedent of allowing our rules/preferences to be overruled.
Beliefs should not even come into it. It is your house. Your land. No one but you should get to decide what gets erected on it.

I would advise parting ways as soon as possible as anyone who takes your charitable offer of accommodation during a period of strife... and uses that to dictate how your house and life should be.... is taking advantage of you and I can only see this leading to eventual strife and a break down in your relationship with them as tensions rise and eventually boil over.

This is not healthy.
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Old 12-17-2013, 09:54 PM
 
16,300 posts, read 24,975,384 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by awestover89 View Post
Anyway, this all ended up as a moot point. They plugged the decoration in last night and the motor burned out. Father-in-law tried to fix it and couldn't put everything back together. It is now sitting in the trash.
Prayers are useless, but karma on the other hand is quite real.
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