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Old 12-18-2013, 07:44 AM
 
Location: Elko, NV
474 posts, read 779,379 times
Reputation: 422

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I conceded they could put the nativity up in the backyard, just not the front. But karma dealt me a win, no nativity and I'm not stuck being the bad guy.

Regarding getting them out of our house, not an option as long as the kids are involved. They are the only reason we made the offer to begin with, and we are not willing to punish the kids for their parents' issues. My husband is very close to his brothers, especially the two older ones, and this hasn't been easy on them at all. Both in-laws are actively looking for full time work (a condition we put when we offered to let them stay), and we have a timeline in place for when they need to be out once a job is found.

Ironically, the relationship is improving a bit. Used to be, everytime I would complain about the MIL micro-managing my husband's (or my) life, I was the bad guy. Now, my husband is fully on my side. Relationships with the in-laws are suffering a bit, but I'm getting closer to my new brothers as well.

We do luck out that my MIL still has her job in another state, and she has blown through most of her vacation days visiting at the start of the school year, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, so we will be seeing less of her physically soon. It's an odd situation, I won't lie, but despite the stress we still stand by this being the best solution for the sake of the kids.

We have also agreed that once they have a place (they will be moving nearby, not quite walking distance, but pretty close. We don't want the oldest kid to have to switch high schools his senior year since he just got here) only my oldest brother-in-law will be allowed to visit whenever he wants. Visiting for the in-laws will be limited.

This is getting further and further away from a religious/atheism discussion, so I will tie it together with this. The very first thing my husband put his foot down when they moved in: "I don't care if you get up and take the kids to mass Sunday morning. I am not going, I will be sleeping. You WILL NOT wake me up when you are getting ready, and I don't care if it's Christmas or Easter, I am not joining you for mass." I have no problem with religion, I grew up devout Southern Baptist, and if my husband wanted to go to church I'd support him. But seeing him stand up on day 1, especially about his religious opinion, really made me proud. There was a huge fight last year (after we were married, but before we bought the house. We were visiting them at their old house for a week in the summer) where his mom guilt tripped him into going to church with the family. We are gay, and that was his big reason for not wanting to go to church, he wasn't comfortable with it after the way he was treated when he first came out of the closet, but after a half-hour of fighting he gave in, and I decided to go with for support. He was miserable, and when we got home he told me never again would he let his mom force him to do something he wasn't comfortable with. To be honest, I didn't believe him at first, given the history with his mom, but he stood his ground.
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Old 12-18-2013, 01:14 PM
 
Location: Ostend,Belgium....
8,820 posts, read 6,398,877 times
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http://www.city-data.com/forum/attac...1&d=1387397640
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Christmas Decorations if Religious Family is Visiting-988384_10151903666173795_1212550789_n.jpg  
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Old 12-18-2013, 02:41 PM
 
Location: NJ
17,579 posts, read 40,033,333 times
Reputation: 16148
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Originally Posted by MaggieZ View Post
That's awesome. I wonder how they verify.
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Old 12-19-2013, 01:53 AM
 
Location: The backwoods of Pennsylvania ... unfortunately.
5,846 posts, read 3,391,122 times
Reputation: 4059
Quote:
Originally Posted by manderly6 View Post
That's awesome. I wonder how they verify.
You have to sacrifice your first born - but at the very last minute, they tell you that you don't really have to.
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Old 12-19-2013, 03:04 AM
 
Location: Ostend,Belgium....
8,820 posts, read 6,398,877 times
Reputation: 4886
Lol
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Old 12-19-2013, 03:50 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
57,076 posts, read 55,345,666 times
Reputation: 67888
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
And let's not forget, religious symbol or not, giant inflatable lawn decorations are tacky!
Beat me to it. Very tacky.

Your home should be respected.
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Old 12-20-2013, 12:14 PM
 
16,308 posts, read 25,092,415 times
Reputation: 8285
The title is also misleading. They are not 'visiting', they are squatters. A family of 6 living with you "until the can afford" There needs to be a specific move out date established, and need to pay rent, contribute to food, utilities, consumables (laundry products, TP, etc.) until that date.
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Old 12-20-2013, 12:19 PM
 
16,308 posts, read 25,092,415 times
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Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
And let's not forget, religious symbol or not, giant inflatable lawn decorations are tacky!
They can be done tastefully..............



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Old 12-20-2013, 05:16 PM
 
Location: Beautiful hills
248 posts, read 403,952 times
Reputation: 506
Your house = your rules.
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Old 01-13-2014, 09:10 AM
 
741 posts, read 1,075,281 times
Reputation: 1214
Hurray for Christmas Miracles!!!

After reading this, I don't think it was ever about the nativity, it was about your MIL getting to be the big lady of the house. I grieve for you.
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