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Old 12-16-2013, 02:33 PM
 
Location: Elko, NV
474 posts, read 776,965 times
Reputation: 422

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My in-laws, mother-in-law, father-in-law, and their four kids, are living with us until they can afford their own apartment. They are religious (Catholic), but I am atheist and my husband is a lapsed Catholic. He still believes, but in an extremely limited capacity (basically, there is some form of deity/God but the Bible/church is not accurate). My in-laws have an inflatable nativity scene that they want to put up in front of our house, but I really don't want it setup. My husband is indifferent, but my mother-in-law is adamant that it needs to be put up, and that even if we aren't religious, having a religious symbol won't hurt us. I'm not arguing that it will hurt us, but to me it's a principal. It is our house, and I feel that the decorations on our house should match our believes.

Am I overreacting? Just giving in and letting the decorations go up would be the easiest solution and would avoid a fight, but I don't want to set a precedent of allowing our rules/preferences to be overruled.
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Old 12-16-2013, 02:44 PM
 
Location: NJ
17,579 posts, read 39,964,759 times
Reputation: 16148
They sounds pretty ungrateful. You take them in when they need help and then try and dictate how you should have your house. And you make a very good point. If you say yes to this you may be telling them that they get to set the rules in your house.
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Old 12-16-2013, 02:52 PM
 
Location: Middle of nowhere
20,332 posts, read 10,530,107 times
Reputation: 7965
I remember wanting to paint my room dark purple when I was a teen. My dad said no. He said that it was his house, and I would live by his rules while under his roof. This situation seems pretty similar to me.
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Old 12-16-2013, 02:57 PM
 
12,870 posts, read 10,070,758 times
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You mother-in-law is insisting ... in YOUR house? No you are not over reacting. If they are going to be staying with you for a while, calmly and as matter of factly as you can manage, say No.
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Old 12-16-2013, 02:58 PM
 
12,870 posts, read 10,070,758 times
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And let's not forget, religious symbol or not, giant inflatable lawn decorations are tacky!
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Old 12-16-2013, 02:58 PM
 
Location: NJ
17,579 posts, read 39,964,759 times
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And to me this has nothing to do with "religion". I would have said the same answer about anything your "guests" were insisting on in your house that you didn't agree with it.
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Old 12-16-2013, 03:00 PM
 
Location: Somewhere out there.
6,932 posts, read 3,830,795 times
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We are an atheist family but we do Christmas to the hilt! I'm a bit of a stickler for bad taste though and the reason I'd object to that particular nativity is because its inflatable! No sorry, I'd draw the line there.
I wouldn't object to a small wooden nativity scene round the fireplace, something like that.
Although I think the nativity is entirely fictional, I think it's a nice story so I think its okay.
But an inflatable nativity in front of the house?... oh no no no.
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Old 12-16-2013, 03:05 PM
 
Location: Georgia
485 posts, read 735,267 times
Reputation: 248
Quote:
Originally Posted by awestover89 View Post
My in-laws, mother-in-law, father-in-law, and their four kids, are living with us until they can afford their own apartment. They are religious (Catholic), but I am atheist and my husband is a lapsed Catholic. He still believes, but in an extremely limited capacity (basically, there is some form of deity/God but the Bible/church is not accurate). My in-laws have an inflatable nativity scene that they want to put up in front of our house, but I really don't want it setup. My husband is indifferent, but my mother-in-law is adamant that it needs to be put up, and that even if we aren't religious, having a religious symbol won't hurt us. I'm not arguing that it will hurt us, but to me it's a principal. It is our house, and I feel that the decorations on our house should match our believes.

Am I overreacting? Just giving in and letting the decorations go up would be the easiest solution and would avoid a fight, but I don't want to set a precedent of allowing our rules/preferences to be overruled.
I don't think you're overreacting a bit. You're taking in 6 people into your home until they can afford to find a place to rent? They should be glad they have a place to stay. If you don't put it up what will they do, leave? If I were I would kindly stand your ground and tell them you don't want it up and leave it at that.
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Old 12-16-2013, 03:08 PM
 
Location: Downtown Raleigh
1,652 posts, read 3,021,499 times
Reputation: 2135
I agree with what everyone else has said, at least in principle. But if you're going to live with these people and keep a healthy relationship, it might be worth considering. Does she insist on a lot of things? Or is this particularly important? If it's part of a pattern, it might be best to put your foot down. If it's the only thing she's asked for, then maybe it's more important to her than to you. If she wants it because it is particularly important to the kids, I would be inclined to do it.

Being kind is more important than being right. But you don't have to be a doormat to be kind.
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Old 12-16-2013, 03:13 PM
 
Location: Ohio
15,196 posts, read 13,534,918 times
Reputation: 20685
Inflatable anything belongs in the BACK YARD.
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