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Old 12-23-2013, 09:03 AM
 
9,745 posts, read 6,718,665 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Asheville Native View Post
There is no need to move, and the south has far too much to offer in a way of life. Even with these slaves to superstition everywhere it is more relaxed and friendly.

Though the number of god fearing (quaking in the boots type fear of god) is higher here, there are also many theists that never mention it, and never judge others based on it, and there are also probably the same mix of atheists/agnostics. There are many tiny little churches (mostly fundy, COG, pentecostal) everywhere, but the congregation probably consists of one or two families tops.

After all a city council person, an atheist, just started his third term on council here, and this time there was no outcry that he didn't put his hand on the babble when sworn in. No, I didn't vote for him, as he is such so liberal that he makes me want to vomit.
OK, that is good. Don't let this stuff get to you. The existence or non-existence of God is a moot point with regards to your daily life.
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Old 12-23-2013, 09:48 AM
 
Location: FROM Dixie, but IN SoCal
3,491 posts, read 5,520,068 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Takkarr View Post
People in liberal states assume you are Christian as well unless you wear non-Christian religious clothing....
Ah-hem. Did you mean "conservative states" like Texas, Tennessee, Alabama, Indiana, etc?? The reason I ask is that I have lived in a "liberal state" (California) for 25 years and have witnessed no such generalized assumption.
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Old 12-23-2013, 12:00 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
3,518 posts, read 2,445,372 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kayanne View Post
I've lived in a new area for about a year and a half, and many people here are very religious and outspoken about their beliefs. And in conversations with many people here, it seems they just assume that I OF COURSE believe in god/prayer/Bible etc.

As an example: I work at a hospital, and one of my co-workers became critically ill recently, and spent several days in our ICU. Doctors weren't sure she would survive. Another co-worker was talking with me about our ill colleague, saying things like, "It's completely up to God now. It's all in his hands. We just need to keep praying" And I wanted to say, "Well, I kinda like to think that all of us involved in her health care play a pretty big role in her outcome!" or something to that effect. But I just kept my mouth shut.

Similar conversations happen a lot since I've moved here. I don't know if it's politeness that is keeping me quiet, or if it's a hesitation to "come out of the agnostic closet," or just not wanting to defend my views, or what. I end up feeling like a fake and a coward for not admitting that I don't share their beliefs.

Thoughts or advice on what to say in such situations?
Boy do I know how you feel, I live in the heart of the Bible belt and it's quite a dilemma for people like us living in the South. Asheville Native knows a thing or two about it also since we're in close proximity. IT IS factual what he said about what people say when first meeting them.....it must be some secret standard to ask "where ya'll go to church?" I have to say of course that I don't go to church and hurriedly change the subject to avoid weirdness.

You are not a coward, it's called self-preservation. I do it too. There are very few people and especially family members that know I'm agnostic/atheist now and I aim to keep it that way. No one is open-minded enough in these parts to try and understand where I'm coming from......I have a cousin that says she prays that I will believe again and that she thinks I'm just going through a phase and being stubborn. Ugh, how do you deal with a mindset like that? That's just it, you don't. Change the subject quickly and move along. It really is hard though to be surrounded by all this fairy tale believing and keep your sanity but it has to be done for all concerned, especially you.

Good luck and just say things like "uh-huh" or "sure thing" or "I suppose" to your co-workers and leave it at that. It's none of their damn business anyway so don't ever feel like you are cowardly or disinterested in your own feelings, you just don't have to express them if you don't feel it is in your best interest. And as far as bottling it up until you explode........discuss your agnosticism with like-minded people like here at city-data (my only outlet is C-D because I know no agnostics or atheists in real life) and it will keep you from losing it hopefully.
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Old 12-23-2013, 12:53 PM
 
Location: Florida
4,506 posts, read 3,906,881 times
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I've lived in KY for over 20 years and while it's not the deep south, it's south enough that you are judged by the church you attend!

I suspect that being atheist is one of the reasons I have made very few real friends here - and the lack of friends is one reason why I'll be glad to see this place in my rear view mirror in a few months! I'm so looking forward to getting out of here it almost hurts!
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Old 12-23-2013, 01:08 PM
 
9,745 posts, read 6,718,665 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Northsouth View Post
IT IS factual what he said about what people say when first meeting them.....it must be some secret standard to ask "where ya'll go to church?" I have to say of course that I don't go to church and hurriedly change the subject to avoid weirdness.

When I was a full blown Atheist I would just reply I have not been to church since I got married. Or that I only go to church for weddings and funerals. I did not feel awkward, but I have never lived in those bible belt states.

With those replies you are off the hook and they will not push the subject anymore.
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Old 12-23-2013, 01:20 PM
 
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
2,540 posts, read 3,267,628 times
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WOW.

I live in Toronto, and no body here CARES if I go to church, or which one I might attend. It simply isn't a question that we Canadians ask each other. We see a person's religious beliefs as a very "private matter " that is no body else's business, at all.

I don't believe in god, and never have. I can't imagine living in a society that is so closed minded as has been described here in this thread.

For the scenario in the hospital, and the family who think that THEIR God saved him....... They would be really confused here in Toronto, as many of the Doctors, and nurses are NOT Christians, at all. Muslims, Jews, Sikhs and the whole world wide range of various religious groups.

I worked with the same guy for eight years, in a very intimate and demanding career, where we were never out of each other's sight, during our 12 hour shifts, and I never once had a conversation with him about my or his religious beliefs. It was only after I left that job that I found out that he is a member of the Salvation Army.

The Prime Minister of Canada is a member of a conservative Christian church, BUT he never mentions his religious beliefs in public, as that would be considered a huge political error in this country. You will never hear him say anything about god in public. No god bless Canada, or the like, here.

We also don't have religious radio stations here, as the law requires that if one station broadcasts a religious based program, they ALSO have to offer free air time to ALL the other religious groups in the area, including the Muslims, Jews, and all the rest. As a result of that law, we are not besieged by religious nonsense on the air waves, in Canada. Seems fair to me .

Jim B.

Toronto.
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Old 12-23-2013, 01:52 PM
 
Location: Sitting beside Walden Pond
4,609 posts, read 4,111,643 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by canadian citizen View Post
many of the Doctors, and nurses are NOT Christians, at all. Muslims, Jews, Sikhs and the whole world wide range of various religious groups.
That's because many of the good natural-born Canadian doctors have moved to America for higher pay.
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Old 12-23-2013, 02:24 PM
 
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
2,540 posts, read 3,267,628 times
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Hiker

So, a Canadian MUST automatically be a WHITE person, who is also a Christian ?

WOW are you ever wrong.

For your information non white , and non Christian folks have been living in Canada for a few hundred years. To assume that a Medical Doctor, who was educated in Canada, would move to the USA, is a myth. Why would they do that ? You tell me .

It appears that your knowledge of my country is an inch thick, and a foot wide. And full of holes, too.

Jim B.

Toronto.
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Old 12-23-2013, 02:27 PM
 
Location: Northeastern US
14,190 posts, read 9,075,797 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hiker45 View Post
That's because many of the good natural-born Canadian doctors have moved to America for higher pay.
Oh, we have our share of diversity in the medical field. Last place I lived, the economy was largely driven by the regional hospital and the high school our kids went to was full of Indians, Pakistanis, Asians, etc., the children of doctors in the area. Our daughter dated an Indian, the son of psychiatrists; my doctor was an Indian. Our son's roommate in college was an Indian medical student.

What you say about Canadians moving here might be true, for some given value of true, but it's not the whole picture.
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Old 12-23-2013, 07:01 PM
 
Location: A tropical island
4,566 posts, read 4,431,194 times
Reputation: 11210
Quote:
Originally Posted by Northsouth View Post
Boy do I know how you feel, I live in the heart of the Bible belt and it's quite a dilemma for people like us living in the South. Asheville Native knows a thing or two about it also since we're in close proximity. IT IS factual what he said about what people say when first meeting them.....it must be some secret standard to ask "where ya'll go to church?" I have to say of course that I don't go to church and hurriedly change the subject to avoid weirdness.

You are not a coward, it's called self-preservation. I do it too. There are very few people and especially family members that know I'm agnostic/atheist now and I aim to keep it that way. No one is open-minded enough in these parts to try and understand where I'm coming from......I have a cousin that says she prays that I will believe again and that she thinks I'm just going through a phase and being stubborn. Ugh, how do you deal with a mindset like that? That's just it, you don't. Change the subject quickly and move along. It really is hard though to be surrounded by all this fairy tale believing and keep your sanity but it has to be done for all concerned, especially you.

Good luck and just say things like "uh-huh" or "sure thing" or "I suppose" to your co-workers and leave it at that. It's none of their damn business anyway so don't ever feel like you are cowardly or disinterested in your own feelings, you just don't have to express them if you don't feel it is in your best interest. And as far as bottling it up until you explode........discuss your agnosticism with like-minded people like here at city-data (my only outlet is C-D because I know no agnostics or atheists in real life) and it will keep you from losing it hopefully.
Thanks for your supportive and helpful post!
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