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Old 02-03-2014, 11:40 AM
 
Location: Mississippi
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Asheville Native View Post
The full blown catholic funeral I was at was over a year ago, something was said that made it clear that communion was going down. Parading out the gold goblets also was a clue.
The last time I was in a Catholic church was when I was probably about six or seven years old and it's been since I was about fifteen or sixteen since I'd been inside any type of church at all (girlfriends in high school used to beg me to go).

So... To say I'm a little rusty with what goes on inside one of those places is a bit of an understatement.
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Old 02-03-2014, 05:28 PM
 
Location: Sitting beside Walden Pond
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GCSTroop View Post
And that's how an Atheist took communion.
Since you are still alive and able to describe this horrifying experience in great detail, I guess it didn't do you any harm. Free and healthy food is always a good thing.

Maybe the practice of communion was begun to give the attendees a little snack break during a long service, kind of like the flight attendants passing out peanuts during long flight. Consider yourself lucky.
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Old 02-03-2014, 06:40 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GCSTroop View Post
The last time I was in a Catholic church was when I was probably about six or seven years old and it's been since I was about fifteen or sixteen since I'd been inside any type of church at all (girlfriends in high school used to beg me to go).

So... To say I'm a little rusty with what goes on inside one of those places is a bit of an understatement.
This was my third time. The first in 1967 was a Wednesday public blessing by the pope in the Vatican. Quite a show of pomp and circumstance and ancient ritualistic nonsense. I was in the Navy, and they gave us 5 days 'basket leave' to take a package deal to tour Roma and not count it against our 30 days of leave we earned every year. Got to tour the Vatican and all the tombs, etc. under it. Met some college students from the US, so it was all a worth the visit But the pope's Wednesday blessing is really a show than a service. Lots of cheering, applause and not much preaching. Still got the smoke pots and all the bling, and much of it was not in English.

The second was about 25 years ago for the wedding of my wife's uncle's daughter, whose adult children were there.

The third, the funeral.

That is the sum total of my 'catholic church' experience, but I suspected what was going on. I also toured Mosques when I was in Istanbul Turkey, and was there when they were filed in for their prayers.

Ben to other funerals (not many, as I try to avoid them) and never to a 'churchy service' of any denomination.
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Old 02-03-2014, 06:44 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Northern Matt View Post
People don't like it when you masturbate at funerals.... Well, at least that's what I told the priest!


(Sorry a bit of humour to lighten the mood, not trying to offend, sympathies for your loss OP)
Oh, you're going to burn in hell
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Old 02-04-2014, 01:19 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GCSTroop View Post
When I arrived at the priest, he held a cracker in front of my mouth and said "The Body of Christ." I just held my mouth open with a dumb look on my face. He hesitated for a very long time and finally placed the cracker in my mouth.
Taking their communion in this fashion is only one of two choices. The other choice is to take it in the hand. You cup your hands in a particular way (images available on google images) accepting the cracker in one hand and then consuming it with the other. There is however no police there ensuring you consume it. You can simply walk away and pocket it. I have performed a few scientific experiments on these crackers and this is one of the many ways in which I obtained them.

Although you were ushered however it was within your choice and power to simply sit in your place and politely decline. Ceremonies like marriages, baptisms, funerals and the like are often attended by people of other religions and no religions at all, and it is very common to see people abstain from taking communion. There are even rules WITHIN that religion on when you are expected to not take it. So anyone who actually knows the rules of their faith or that faith would simply have to accept your polite decline at face value and not question it. Anyone who does is being less faithful to the faith than even you are and are being presumptuous and rude.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GCSTroop View Post
So, what does everyone else do at a funeral of those loved ones and friends who are religious?
Like I say above I am happy to attend the ceremonies if asked but abstain from taking any part in them. I do not do the communion or the kneeling. I do however do the standing. Not as part of the ceremony, but simply because I do not like to have my view of the stage blocked. So when everyone else stands I do too, simply so I can see.

I generally try to pick my seat so my abstaining from the ceremony causes as little disruption as possible. The best seat in Irish Catholic Churches is on the edge of the pew at the centre aisle. As this is where people exit to walk up the centre and get to the communion. I simple have to stand up, aside, and one step back and the passage of everyone past me is then 100% clear. As they traditionally return to their seat from the opposite side of the pew, I can soon sit down again and be in no ones way.
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Old 02-05-2014, 06:51 PM
 
Location: Boise, ID
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I suppose it makes a difference what the composition of the attendees are. If it is a funeral/wedding and a large enough percentage are non of that faith, you don't stand out. The only Catholic wedding I've ever been to, there were at least 300 people there, and I would say at least 50 of us were not Catholic. So I just stayed in my seat, didn't "sing along", didn't get up for communion, etc. I just stayed in my seat, and didn't feel weird at all.

Most of my family is LDS, so I've been to quite a few Mormon weddings/funerals, but they don't have as much audience participation. I sit quietly, and when they pass the bread and water, I just pass it past me.

So in short, my answer is that I don't participate in the religious parts of the ceremony, but I stay unobtrusive, and stay quietly respectful.

For your particular story, I don't know whether you felt out of place, and misinterpreted the priest's attention on you, or whether he actually was angry. If he was, he was in the wrong. A family funeral is for all the family, regardless of their personal religion.
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Old 02-06-2014, 05:29 PM
 
Location: New England
673 posts, read 859,157 times
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I do think it's a good idea for someone in the church--maybe your closest relative or best friend or whatever--to give you the word in a quiet and polite way, regarding what you're expected to do at the service. For Catholics, it would be let them get on with their communion and avoid it yourself, with Mormons it's whatever it is that they do--bread and water, is it? Sounds like a tough prison regime, but that's their business.

As you say, be quietly respectful--someone else is the star turn, not you--though personally I might be outwardly respectful but inwardly quite amused. Imagine if the heathens in the pews couldn't stifle their laughter and had to leave. Big embarrassment. Never invited again. Hints of hellfire awaiting.
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Old 02-07-2014, 02:51 PM
 
16,300 posts, read 24,990,656 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MysticPhD View Post
I accuse no one . . . but if the shoe fits . . . If you do not care about the feelings of your family and close friends at such poignant moments in life . . . you must feel very isolated.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Asheville Native View Post
Please explain how not taking communion is going to insult or hurt the feelings of the family. Would you expect a Jew that was a close friend of the family, or even a family member to take communion? How about a Buddhist, or a Muslim?
Hey Mystic, was this question too tough, did you get caught in one of your stretches of the truth by accusing those you disagree with of saying something they didn't say. I asked for you to provide some evidence of your accusations, and low and behold, you haven't posted in the A&A sub-forum since.

You made the accusation, now you disappear.............. makes one think that your mouth wrote a check that your ...... can't cash. You made the accusations, you either need to retract them, or provide proof. Or run and hide.
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Old 02-08-2014, 04:23 AM
 
Location: Greenbelt, MD
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GCSTroop View Post
I don't think I'm making myself clear enough. I'm not sure if I was "directed" or "forced" to go take communion or if I just misunderstood the situation. The woman came to my aisle, pointed straight ahead and everyone stood up. I was on the end of my aisle. In the aisle in front of me, everyone had already stood up and proceeded forward. I didn't realize they were taking communion. I assumed they were all getting up to leave. By the time I realized what was happening, it was too late. I was in line and the line was moving forward.

And that's how an Atheist took communion.
Why didn't you stand up for yourself and get out of that line?
If I'm in that situation (which I would never be in) I would say I'm an atheist and it would be dishonest of me to take communion. That is if I was confronted after the ritual.

I grew up Catholic, went to Catholic school, attended church every Sunday for years, and Sunday school.

I attented 3 Catholic masses in recent years, two of them were my parents funerals the other was a wedding. I sat in the very last row of the church for all 3 and just rolled my eyes to myself. I didn't want to go to any of them but showed up to the funerals just to keep the peace with my brother who is still religious. During my mothers funeral I snuck out and came back at the very end. I refused to do the "row" thing. It got me some looks by people I no longer see - like neighbors where my parents used to live. So what, their problem not mine. It my opinion that funerals are barbaric and insutling. I remember the priest saying at both funerals that their lives would have been nothing without JC.
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Old 02-10-2014, 11:12 PM
 
Location: Mississippi
6,715 posts, read 12,285,900 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by John13 View Post
Why didn't you stand up for yourself and get out of that line?
If I'm in that situation (which I would never be in) I would say I'm an atheist and it would be dishonest of me to take communion. That is if I was confronted after the ritual.

I grew up Catholic, went to Catholic school, attended church every Sunday for years, and Sunday school.

I attented 3 Catholic masses in recent years, two of them were my parents funerals the other was a wedding. I sat in the very last row of the church for all 3 and just rolled my eyes to myself. I didn't want to go to any of them but showed up to the funerals just to keep the peace with my brother who is still religious. During my mothers funeral I snuck out and came back at the very end. I refused to do the "row" thing. It got me some looks by people I no longer see - like neighbors where my parents used to live. So what, their problem not mine. It my opinion that funerals are barbaric and insutling. I remember the priest saying at both funerals that their lives would have been nothing without JC.
As I've said numerous times. Before I figured out what was going on, I was standing in front of the priest. I'm not Catholic. Never was. And maybe only attended a Catholic church once or twice in my entire life when I was really young. All of the little rituals, cadences, and otherwise had my head spinning in confusion. But, I was also at my grandmother's funeral and my grandfather was taking it very hard. So, what was I going to do? Realize at the last second that I was standing in the wrong line and then duck out?

If I was at some other public venue and that same priest wanted to do some sort of hocus pocus with me, then we could have a real discussion about a lot of things. But, at my grandmother's funeral the last thing I was ever going to do was make a big scene in front of everyone because I was ignorant of what went on inside one of those churches. I was confused. So I ate the darned cracker. It's not like it had any special meaning to me. It didn't even taste that good. Had I known what I know now, I wouldn't have gotten up from my seat. But, I wasn't aware of all that stuff. I truly thought we were being prepared to be escorted out and we were lining up to make our way to the door in some sort of ritualistic fashion.
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