U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Religion and Spirituality > Atheism and Agnosticism
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-04-2014, 04:21 PM
 
40,163 posts, read 26,789,159 times
Reputation: 6055

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by NoCapo View Post
I'm curious, what do you think he should have said?
-NoCapo
The truth . . . he doesn't know because no one does. Some people believe God exists others don't . . . but no one KNOWS. His self-centered arrogance is just that and served no purpose except to foist his preferred view onto his child.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-04-2014, 06:24 PM
 
3,404 posts, read 2,254,157 times
Reputation: 1317
Quote:
Originally Posted by MysticPhD View Post
The truth . . . he doesn't know because no one does. Some people believe God exists others don't . . . but no one KNOWS. His self-centered arrogance is just that and served no purpose except to foist his preferred view onto his child.
Boy, you got up on the wrong side of the bed! I can feel the Christ-Consciousness...

If you read what he wrote, he did a pretty decent job about explaining that he doesn't believe that there is a god, but that some people do and do so very strongly. You were the one complaining that he was making it too complicated, and now you want him to explain the nature of human epistemology to a little kid?!?

Rather than seeing it as self centered arrogance, I see it as a parent doing his best to give their kid as clear of a picture as they can handle, without adding a lot of bias.

Is it only atheists that you feel are self-centered and arrogant for expressing their view to their own children, or would you have raised your own children with the answer "No one knows!" to every question? Since of course, you would have to give the same answer for Santa, the tooth fairy, where do babies come from, what color is the sky, and really anything else... After all, you don't know any of that...

-NoCapo
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-04-2014, 06:42 PM
 
40,163 posts, read 26,789,159 times
Reputation: 6055
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoCapo View Post
Boy, you got up on the wrong side of the bed! I can feel the Christ-Consciousness...
You are right! My apologies to the OP and everyone.
(BTW, I did not tell my children about Santa until they figured it out from friends or whatever).
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-04-2014, 06:47 PM
 
Location: USA
7,478 posts, read 5,799,543 times
Reputation: 12323
Quote:
Originally Posted by Matt Marcinkiewicz View Post
I dream of the day when the average five-year-old believes in Santa Claus but not god.
Yep... the worst Santa would do is give you a lump of coal. No eternal damnation for absurd things, no institutionalized hatred of those who are different, no claims of taking care of all your needs that are never delivered upon.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-05-2014, 01:32 AM
 
7,802 posts, read 5,288,132 times
Reputation: 2973
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
I think you should expose your son to many different things so he can make a well informed decision when he is old enough and mature enough to do so without your input.
That sounds very good on paper. But the issue is that when it comes to the idea there is a god, there is nothing to really inform his son about. There simply is no arguments, evidence, data, or reasoning on offer to us to lend even a modicum of credence to such a belief. So what is there to inform a child of? Nothing, save the strange fact that people insist on believing it anyway.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
PS ~~ Just because you believe something is a lie does not mean it is a lie it only means that is your own belief.
Depends. The claim that there is a god is not just slightly, but entirely unsubstantiated. Claiming there is one therefore is, for me, akin to lying. There might actually be one for all I know, and the liars might get lucky in this regard. But that does not dilute the dishonesty inherent in claiming something is true for which we have not a jot of substantiation actually is.

I guess I do not limit my definition of "lying" to knowingly telling an untruth. I also include knowingly telling things as true for which there is no reason to think actually are. Even if they might later turn out to be.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-05-2014, 02:04 PM
 
Location: Aiken, South Carolina, US of A
1,769 posts, read 3,871,045 times
Reputation: 3584
I was raised "born again" nondenominational christain.
My family was nuts as far as religion was concerned.
When I was 18, I made the decision to stop going to church altogether.
I had 2 babies, and my husband at the time wasn't really religious either.
So, we didn't go to church.
Not one of my 3 kids were baptized, or dedicated or whatever.
If my child asked me a question, I always gave them an age appropriate
HONEST answer. On any subject.
If I honestly didn't know the answer to it, (like a scientific question), I would
go find out. I would hunt the answer down.
When my youngest was about 8 years old, he would play with a neighbors kids,
they were all about the same age. Anyway, he asked me once if he could go to
church with these kids. I said no. I told him when he graduates high school he can go
to any church he wants.
About 4 months later, I was doing his laundry and saw a sawstika drawn in ink on his
blue jean leg.
I asked him about it. He said his little friends across the street have them all over
the house. He didn't seem to understand what that was.
I grabed some sizzors and cut the blue jeans in shreds in front of him and told
him that was the symbol of hate. I told him millions of people died and that symbol
was worshipped by a nation about 50 years ago and I was never to see that symbol
in my house again. (this was in the early 90s).
I also told him to never go in the house of the neighbor ever again.
I told him as his mom, I was to protect him from eveil, and that symbol was
eveil.
I did the best I could to raise my kids to be open minded as much as possible.
i never put down religions, ever, but let them know it was my choice to live my
life the way I wanted to. I told them if they choose religion in thier life, that is fine.
But I also always taught my kids that family always comes first.
Always.
Family is more important than money, or religions, or anything.
I think I did a pretty good job.
They are all raised now, and are good people.
They know the difference between right and wrong, which is saying something
today.
Sorry for going on like this, but for the atheist parent, it's so hard, especailly when
you have family critising your every move, disagreeing on your way of raising your
kids without a religion.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-05-2014, 05:00 PM
 
2,379 posts, read 2,693,802 times
Reputation: 1191
Quote:
Originally Posted by WSPHXPELON View Post
My son is 5 years old. Ever since he was born I have been asking myself how I am going to educate him in regard to religion...My wife's side of the family are fairly Catholic. My mother-in-law had my son baptized when he was a baby (I did not protest). Well, I had finally decided that what I would tell my son regarding "God" would be that I would just avoid the subject and/or "play it off" like I was a believer when the subject came up...

Well, today, for the first time ever, my son started asking me questions about God. I just couldn't make myself betray my son by feeding him lies. I told him the truth, that God, "is not real"; and I explained that some people believe very strongly that God does exist but that my personal belief which I feel to be true is that God does not exist.

Well, he was okay with it. He said, "Okay, God isn't real. Only Santa Claus is real and he is the one that takes care of us, right?" So, I had already broken the news to him about God (the big lie), so I broke the news to him about Santa Claus as well. I told him that Santa Claus is not real either and that the presents are from me and my wife. I told him that the only people that will "take care of us", are us; and that is why we must be good people and value and appreciate each other and our families. He seemed very understanding and none of it seemed to upset him the slightest.

Long story short, did I just mess up?? Should I have let the facade carried on for years??

What do you think? How have you handled raising children being an Atheist? Please just share some thoughts on this topic because it has really been bothering me....
I feel for you, although I don't consider myself Atheist, my husband (my kids' father) teaches my kids different beliefs than I do.

As mentioned by others, I think it would be wise to teach religious tollerance by explaining that there are many different ways to think about things, especially since your child is going to hear very conflicting ideas. You could give a simple example about how sometimes your child may be so excited about something that others may not, and other things your child may be bored with something others are excited about. It doesn't necessarily make one person right or wrong - it's just different motivations.

I tend to consider God as love or motivation... and believe that even if we don't call it "god" we all have some form of "ultimate concern" (as Paul Tillech described god). So, I'd also teach your child about symbols - how they are such a part of our lives (even words we use, sentimental things, sacrament etc.), and the main thing is trying the best to keep our actions in line with what matters most to us.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-05-2014, 05:03 PM
 
18,464 posts, read 20,242,301 times
Reputation: 27041
I think you should let it be his decision on what to believe in not yours. If he wants to believe in God or Santa Claus that's his choice. You should of told him what his mom believes and what you believe.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-05-2014, 05:07 PM
 
2,379 posts, read 2,693,802 times
Reputation: 1191
Quote:
Originally Posted by Electrician4you View Post
I think you should let it be his decision on what to believe in not yours.
His child asked him, though. As we hope our kids are honest with us, we teach by example - and he was honest.

Of course, ideally, it's good to teach in ways that will be both developmentally appropriate as well as help them navigate their way through thoughts about this world. I think that he did fine - and the fact that he's concerned enough to ask for others' input speaks a lot of his love for his child and desire to do the best for them.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-05-2014, 05:07 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,269 posts, read 88,615,347 times
Reputation: 39870
Quote:
Originally Posted by WSPHXPELON View Post
My son is 5 years old. Ever since he was born I have been asking myself how I am going to educate him in regard to religion...My wife's side of the family are fairly Catholic. My mother-in-law had my son baptized when he was a baby (I did not protest). Well, I had finally decided that what I would tell my son regarding "God" would be that I would just avoid the subject and/or "play it off" like I was a believer when the subject came up...

Well, today, for the first time ever, my son started asking me questions about God. I just couldn't make myself betray my son by feeding him lies. I told him the truth, that God, "is not real"; and I explained that some people believe very strongly that God does exist but that my personal belief which I feel to be true is that God does not exist.

Well, he was okay with it. He said, "Okay, God isn't real. Only Santa Claus is real and he is the one that takes care of us, right?" So, I had already broken the news to him about God (the big lie), so I broke the news to him about Santa Claus as well. I told him that Santa Claus is not real either and that the presents are from me and my wife. I told him that the only people that will "take care of us", are us; and that is why we must be good people and value and appreciate each other and our families. He seemed very understanding and none of it seemed to upset him the slightest.

Long story short, did I just mess up?? Should I have let the facade carried on for years??

What do you think? How have you handled raising children being an Atheist? Please just share some thoughts on this topic because it has really been bothering me....
Wow, how sad.

I suppose you intend to followup with a conversation about no Santa, Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy either?

I mean, after all, you said you don't want to continue to "betray" your son
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Religion and Spirituality > Atheism and Agnosticism
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top