Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I was raised in a very strict, fundamentalist religion. I was very active in it. Did mission trips, bible camps, outreaches, etc. I was a good 'christian soldier'. Looking back on it, I fully believe I was indoctrinated, even brainwashed. Not only did it shape my beliefs and views on the world, it shaped my mannerisms and personality. I was so afraid to speak out when I was young, I was militantly obedient, unquestioning, and well-behaved at my own expense and happiness. The problem was that I've always been fascinated with science. As I got older I began to question. I entered college, a private but very liberal, secular school, much to my parents disappointment. There I forced to confront issues. I took many science courses. I also took a debate class, as well as several philosophy courses, where I was forced to defend my beliefs against opposing ideas. I began to feel I was simply fulfilling a duty, ie defending my faith, while I really was falling apart inside. This was a very trying time as the foundation upon which I formed my entire worldview was crumbling. I felt like a veil was being removed from my eyes, like I was finally seeing the world for the first time for as it really is. I was being pulled in one direction by my family/friends, and another by my own mind and searching.
So for me it was a gradual process. I would question, feel immense guilt and judgment and go back, fearing I was simply falling under the spell of the 'enemy' (satan). But the questions and inconsistencies would always nag and the pendulum would swing back. I began a career flying, and that exposed me to many different locations, cultures, and people which opened my eyes even more. It got me out of the bubble. So anyway, I guess I began to question in my late teen years, but it wasn't until my late twenties, I finally made the decision I no longer believed. Then the real challenge began: To speak my mind and not cover up my non-belief. Keep in mind nearly my entire social and family structure were fundies. I still deal with the ramifications of this. I look back and fully think I was quite literally harmed by being so indoctrinated during my formative years.
-----------
Anyway, this song resonates with me as it illustrates the internal struggles I went through during those years when I began to think for myself. The anger and resentment that arose, the doubts, the pendulum swings, not daring to seek pleasure and enjoyment because those are selfish and sinful, etc. .
Warning for language, but this is a serious topic and the language reflects the passion of the subject:
Probably about 6-8. Shortly after I figured out Santa Claus was a story made up by adults to keep children entertained, and also as a tool to control their behavior (naughty or nice list). I always figured Christianity was the same thing. It was only when I was a little older that I realized some adults actually believed that particular fairy tale.
Whether you are atheist or agnostic, how old were you when you first began to *seriously* doubt the religious dogma you were raise in, and how long did it take to finally break free?
I started doubting inn my late teens, then in my 20's I stopped believing. I came "out" at 30 as an Atheist, sheesh had to come out two times, first as a lesbian, then an atheist lol
When I was little, I thought of our pastor as God. That was the image in my mind when I prayed each night. One day I was using the bathroom at church and the pastor rushed in. He was having serious gastric problems, as in noisy and stinky. I thought the paint would peel off the walls. I finished and washed up in record time to get out of there. Later I asked my parents about it and they got a chuckle about me having thought of the pastor as God. I questioned them about more specifics. They were both scientists and hypocrites. They hemmed and hawed and really didn't give me a straight answer. Some things are parables, some things really happened, nobody is really sure, church will make you a better person, etc. I developed doubts right then, but I followed the pattern. My parents divorced when I was about 20. My mom eventually became an atheist and dad remarried and became half of a fundamentalist Baptist couple. His wife is one of the few true believers I know. Totally doubt free and totally in charge of that house...
I was a doubter but attended until middle age. It was actually trying to deepen my faith that I found I could not keep it up anymore.
I was raised primarily as an atheist, but my mother had us start attending a Lutheran church when I was about 8 or 9. This continued until I was 16, at which point I had finished Confirmation. My father never attended though. I don't think my mother really believed, but our church had some decent people and good fellowship, and she enjoyed the music (she directed the handbell choir and sang in the regular choir). At 16 I just stopped going and I've been to about three church services in total since then (I'm 40 years old, so three in 24 years).
I never believed any of it. At no point in my life did I think any of it was real. I think I regarded it as a bunch of moral parables, like Aesop's Fables. I think I felt pretty much the entire Bible was made up crap (instead of just some of it).
Whether you are atheist or agnostic, how old were you when you first began to *seriously* doubt the religious dogma you were raise in, and how long did it take to finally break free?
I was about four years old. My Sunday School teacher asked if everyone knew they were going to heaven. I said no. I wasn't sure such a place existed, and couldn't see why believing in something would send you there. I got preached at until I was old enough to leave home, but nothing ever changed my mind.
My father was an atheist (I'm not too sure what my mother was, as she skipped out when I was very young), and I grew up in a very irreligious area, so that's all I knew. I remember the first time I ever heard of god I was about 8 years old and a friend said "I swear to god!" and I asked "What does that mean?" Apparently my lack of knowledge was more shocking than her blasphemy, but she explained it to me as best as she could, and I gave little thought to the matter after that. Many years later, when I was dating my now husband, he had started going back to church (and eventually seminary), so I tagged along, too. What better way to rebel against an a-hole atheist father than by going to a fundie-lite church, eh ?
Anyway, the years wore on and I had convinced myself that I was a believer, got baptized a couple of times (thinking maybe the first one didn't "take"), and kept squashing down those doubts every time they bubbled up. Just kept plugging along teaching Sunday School, going to bible study, the whole enchilada. Eventually went through an identity crisis, trying to figure out which brand of christianity I fit into or which bible translation would get through to me, but I just didn't like who I was becoming because it didn't feel authentic. I think I was 32 when I was finally honest with myself and admitted that I simply do not believe in god. A feeling of release and overwhelming happiness washed over me, because I was no longer trying to force a square peg into a round hole.
Last edited by Ginge McFantaPants; 07-02-2015 at 08:36 AM..
.. I think I was 32 when I was finally honest with myself and admitted that I simply do not believe in god. A feeling of release and overwhelming happiness washed over me, because I was no longer trying to force a square peg into a round hole.
Pardon the Cut to focus on the bit that is hardly original but is so important and heard again and again.
Release, freedom. I don't think I know what it is like to buy into a religious belief and feel Happy in the way believers try to explain. I would prefer not to try to say why they feel that way..well, yes. I have to try. They feel loved, appreciated, valued, saved. It's all ok, nothing to worry about; God is looking after it all.
I can see why that would last some people all their lives. But the fact is that many people cannot shut out the doubts and questions, even with the 'never mind the denominations; just love God and believe in Jesus'. And there are those who feel the need to put us goddless bastards straight. And they ergage in debate and .. yep. see attached...
I copied this most memorable of quotes.."I'm far superior (Christian) debater than anyone I know and anyone you ever met." "and it doesn't go that way at all.
The hellbent satanspawn are better informed on the Bible than the believer is. They can raise questions that really are not demolished by the 'It makes sense to god'. 'One day evidence will turn up to validate my position' or 'When you die God will explain it to you'.
While they are excellent ways of beating off the attack the apologist with any integrity left will know that was just a track for getting out of having to face up to serious questions.
And then the serious and honest efforts to prove it all true and right from the Bible. And that is when it all falls apart.
^^Exactly. I've come to the conclusion that having worldview that demands objective evidence is incompatible with religion. I cannot be my true self and have religion at the same time. The Believing Brain by Michael Shermer, has really helped me make sense of this. I don't feel "lost" anymore, but I sure as heck did before.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
? 
