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I agree with the part that churches have the right to refuse marriage to gay couples but nothing else. Why a gay couple would want to marry in a church to begin with is mind-boggling.
The civil judges part is flat out wrong.
No surprise that the Democrats fought against these right wing religious zealots. So that right there should prove what I said about the entire state not being full of religious extremists and there are communities in the state who are friendly towards the non-religious.
Hi, John13, good to see you!
Gay people might want to be married in a church because they do believe in God and want to be part of a faith community. We have a very active male couple in our church. We did what we call a "blessing of the union" because SSM wasn't yet legal in NJ. The older man was a devout Catholic who was heartbroken when his priest told him he could no longer participate in Communion after he came out. And yup, the priest himself was a closeted gay man in a 30-year relationship with another man.
But I don't know about some people and these weird stories of people asking where you go to church. I know cupper specified it happens in Bible Belt areas, but why would you even live in such a place? I'm Christian, and I LIKE living in a culturally diverse area. Asking someone you aren't close to what religion they are or related questions about if or where they attend religious services--and making the assumption they do--is just plain rude. I wouldn't live in such a neighborhood any more than I'd live in a place where racial discrimination was openly practiced.
I just find it bizarre that atheists say this question is asked of them all the time, yet never once has a coworker or someone in my writers group or a casual acquaintance asked me, "where do you go to church". Never.
People from NY and NJ are known to move to southeastern states and then complain about crappy Pizza and Bagels. An atheist choosing to live in a heavily religious area seems to make as little sense. Of course, sometimes there is no choice, but if it's that bad, there is usually a choice.
Last edited by Mightyqueen801; 03-28-2016 at 01:16 PM..
Gay people might want to be married in a church because they do believe in God and want to be part of a faith community. We have a very active male couple in our church. We did what we call a "blessing of the union" because SSM wasn't yet legal in NJ. The older man was a devout Catholic who was heartbroken when his priest told him he could no longer participate in Communion after he came out. And yup, the priest himself was a closeted gay man in a 30-year relationship with another man.
But I don't know about some people and these weird stories of people asking where you go to church. I know cupper specified it happens in Bible Belt areas, but why would you even live in such a place? I'm Christian, and I LIKE living in a culturally diverse area. Asking someone you aren't close to what religion they are or related questions about if or where they attend religious services--and making the assumption they do--is just plain rude. I wouldn't live in such a neighborhood any more than I'd live in a place where racial discrimination was openly practiced.
I just find it bizarre that atheists say this question is asked of them all the time, yet never once has a coworker or someone in my writers group or a casual acquaintance asked me, "where do you go to church". Never.
People from NY and NJ are known to move to southeastern states and then complain about crappy Pizza and Bagels. An atheist choosing to live in a heavily religious area seems to make as little sense. Of course, sometimes there is no choice, but if it's that bad, there is usually a choice.
I am in Texas - it has to do with jobs. My son works in the oil industry and is a chemical engineer, so we moved to Houston. Believe me, if my grandchildren were not here, I would move back to the Chicago area in two shakes. Or I would move to Boston to be near my dd and her son, but Boston is quite expensive and we are retired now, so that's not a likely move either.
I just find it bizarre that atheists say this question is asked of them all the time, yet never once has a coworker or someone in my writers group or a casual acquaintance asked me, "where do you go to church". Never.
Actually, I think the question is being asked more often now than it was in the past because the devout fundies (who are most likely to ask IME) find their numbers are shrinking and want to know who they are dealing with before they start the spiel.
Actually, I think the question is being asked more often now than it was in the past because the devout fundies (who are most likely to ask IME) find their numbers are shrinking and want to know who they are dealing with before they start the spiel.
I am in Texas - it has to do with jobs. My son works in the oil industry and is a chemical engineer, so we moved to Houston. Believe me, if my grandchildren were not here, I would move back to the Chicago area in two shakes. Or I would move to Boston to be near my dd and her son, but Boston is quite expensive and we are retired now, so that's not a likely move either.
And even in a big city like that, this sort of thing gets asked? Serious question. Is not Houston diverse with other religions and cultures? I don't know much about it, but I'm surprised.
Bible belt born an bred, mostly south AL and Memphis, small towns and large cities. While in Memphis, I worked a job that took me to churches at least 4 days a week, but usually 5. I couldn't tell you how many times I was asked this question. It would never be asked of me the first few times I went by, but by the 4th or 5th time it usually would be.
It usually started off by having a normal convo, and then they would say something like, " Hey, are you free Sunday morning? We would love to have you stop by! Assuming you don't already go to church somewhere else? Or even if you do!"
Others would just flat out ask "Where do you go to church?" They just always assumed I did. They never asked IF I attended church, just "Where do you go?"
My answer was usually just, "Nowhere at the moment. Maybe I'll try to stop by", or something similar. Not a lie, but not exactly the truth either. Now, I did this because it was essential to my job to maintain a good relationship with these people. If they pushed, I would just tell them that I'm not religious, but wouldn't specifically say I didn't believe in God. If it were some random person, I would just tell them I'm not a believer.
People on this thread who can't understand why you would do that instead of simply saying you are an atheist, have either never lived in the Bible Belt, or have never run into an instance where they needed to. It doesn't take much for religious people to "blackball" the non religious, especially here in the south.
People on this thread who can't understand why you would do that instead of simply saying you are an atheist, have either never lived in the Bible Belt, or have never run into an instance where they needed to. It doesn't take much for religious people to "blackball" the non religious, especially here in the south.
Great post which I can't rep....just pointing out for protest purposes.
It's absolutely true that while you'd like to think of yourself as an autonomous person who doesn't need the approval (or at least the absence of disapproval) of others in any way....the reality is that you need to work, eat, send your kids to school, participate in extracurricular activities with your kids, etc. And if most of the prominent people in your life believe that an invisible being might send "people who don't believe in invisible beings" to eternal damnation...you really have to adapt to your environment.
Because it isn't just the local preacher....it's your kid's coach, your coworkers, your customers, your doctor, your neighbors, and your boss even. And it doesn't matter if you switch jobs...the next place will be mostly the same. All who firmly believe that going to the special place on Sundays, chanting and singing the special words, believing the special book, and agreeing on their own special group-think....makes them moral. To them...atheists are the local drunk who gets arrested every weekend, or that one girl who got pregnant at 16 and moved away with her boyfriend and left the church.
It's an uphill battle for reason in some areas. I'm fortunate enough to not live in an area like that any more...but it's not as cut and dry to just move away when you have other concerns, such as a family to balance.
Another thing is that if you live in the belt (as I have most of my life) you will meet a lot of people who don't seem to be all that religious but church (which is often used as a verb in the south - "where do you church?") is a big part of their lives because that's where they see a big part of their circle of friends. Sometimes people ask not because they are trying to get you to believe but because they want you in their circle. So IME you have to be careful not to take it the wrong way and get your back up about it when it is social. My wife still attends church regularly but never talks about the scripture lesson or the sermon; it's where she sees friends and catches up, plus she goes to a lot of functions that are purely social (scrapbooking, women's beach week, etc).
Lakeland Fla where I live is extremely religious. Religion comes up way to much when meeting people. I notice that every school here that is not public has Christian in its name. The subject is just brought up to the point it's tiresome. I find many of these people seem rather limited on exposure to people not like themselves. I just say I am not into church or religions and go on my way. It is very concerning to me though. To have religion in just about every facet of life is not comforting. It does not make for a welcoming feeling. Especially when I notice many seem hypocritical in their overall thinking. Overall I am at the point where it wouldn't take me much. Just to come right out and say. I'm really sick and tired of hearing about your religions. Please expose yourself to other aspects of life on this planet please.
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