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Old 04-22-2009, 10:57 AM
 
4,512 posts, read 6,729,244 times
Reputation: 813

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yeah!

why study? the more you study, the more you learn. the more you learn, the more you know. the more you know, the more you forget.
the more you forget, the less you know ....

why study?

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Old 04-23-2009, 03:02 PM
 
Location: Brussels, Belgium
971 posts, read 1,538,018 times
Reputation: 236









(I love this one because depending on your philosophy, you may disagree on whom exactly is being made fun of...)







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Old 04-23-2009, 04:29 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
4,085 posts, read 7,667,701 times
Reputation: 2648
Two young nuns are new to a convent. On their first day of chores, Mother Superior explains to them that the convent is renovating some of the older rooms and that they will be working on those for the next few days. She leads them to one of the rooms and says, "Now, I want you to paint this room, but I don't want you to get even one drop of paint on your habits! Am I clear?" The nuns answer, "Yes Mother Superior," and she leaves them to get to work.

The nuns look at each other and wonder how they're supposed to do this without getting paint on their habits. They figure, "Well, we're in a convent...and there's nobody around...let's just take off our habits and put them on after we finish painting." So they do.

About an hour into the painting, they hear a knock at the door of the room. Nervously, the one nun asks, "Who is it??!?!"

The answer comes back, "Blind man."

The other nun says, "Well, if he's blind, he won't see that we're undressed, go ahead and open the door." So the other nun opens the door.

The man at the door says, "Hi! Hey, nice boobs! So where did you want these blinds???"
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Old 04-24-2009, 01:05 AM
 
Location: Metromess
11,798 posts, read 21,972,242 times
Reputation: 5074
The Pope is visiting town and all the residents are dressed up in their best Sunday clothes. Everyone lines up on Main Street hoping for a personal blessing from the Pope.

One local man has put on his best suit and he's sure the Pope will stop and talk to him. He is standing next to an exceptionally down-trodden looking bum who doesn't smell very good. As the Pope comes walking by, he leans over and says something to the bum, then walks right past the local man.

He can't believe it, then it hits him. The Pope won't talk to him; he's concerned for the poor and feeble ones. Thinking fast, he gives the bum $20 to trade clothes with him. He puts on the bum's clothing and runs down the street to line up for another chance for the Pope to stop and talk to him. Sure enough, the Pope walks right up to him this time, leans over close and says, "I thought I told you to get the hell out of here."
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Old 04-24-2009, 01:10 AM
 
Location: Metromess
11,798 posts, read 21,972,242 times
Reputation: 5074
A Jewish student was doing well in all subjects except for math. So his parents decide to send him to a private Catholic school.

While there, the boy came home from school and studied every day. At the end of the term, the boy got straight A's. So his parents ask him, "What motivated you to do so well in school?"

He replied, "When I saw that guy nailed to a plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around!"

(The preceding two jokes are from Garrison Keillor)
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Old 04-24-2009, 11:12 AM
 
4,669 posts, read 4,090,160 times
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for an "atheist joke thread", there sure seem to be a lot of ones about religion/church.

Anyway....just to get a joke in there....


How do you confuse a blonde? Pour a bag of M and M's on the table and tell her to alphabetize 'em.
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Old 04-24-2009, 11:20 AM
 
1,788 posts, read 4,256,432 times
Reputation: 1243
Jesus saves. Everyone else rolls for damage.
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Old 04-25-2009, 12:08 PM
 
Location: Brussels, Belgium
971 posts, read 1,538,018 times
Reputation: 236
Quote:
Originally Posted by kdbrich
for an "atheist joke thread", there sure seem to be a lot of ones about religion/church.
I understood it to be the point. Atheists aren't particularly funnier than anyone else, so the only reason to have a joke thread in the A&A forum is to joke about religion/atheism.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ZugZub
Jesus saves. Everyone else rolls for damage.
I think the proper geeky wording is "Jesus saves, he takes half-damage"















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Old 04-29-2009, 04:45 PM
 
Location: Western NC
651 posts, read 1,276,383 times
Reputation: 498
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Old 04-30-2009, 07:26 AM
 
Location: Brussels, Belgium
971 posts, read 1,538,018 times
Reputation: 236
















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