Philosophically speaking, is polygamy wrong? (hell, children, married, non-religious)

[Tricky D]

Originally Posted by catman

Possessiveness likely takes the place of love, as the companions become a collection of property rather than the 'one and only'.

Only when you start counting your loved ones do you play favourite.

Besidez, since when could love be quantified?
Do parents only truly love their 1st born and care less about their following children because they fear their hearts might run out of love?

[catman]

When did I mention anything about 'playing favourite(s)'?

Children are a different case than wives. With children, you tell them what to do. Love can't be quantified except in romantic and imprecise terms, but again, that isn't a prerequisite for what I was referring to. I think polygamy would lead to more difficulties than it's worth. It's hard enough to keep one spouse happy.

I don't think polygamy is necessarily "wrong", but it would be a whole 'nother smoke.

[Tricky D]

Originally Posted by catman

When did I mention anything about 'playing favourite(s)'?

Did I mention you did?
I was talking in general.

It's hard enough to keep one spouse happy.

This is why I don't have a spouse, only girlfriends with special benefits.

[Mooseketeer]

Originally Posted by effie briest

but then, polygamy/polyandry may just be another expression of jealousy and possessiveness. a substitute with love absent.

I think traditionally from an Anthropological point of view ( as an Anthropologist ) Polygamy/Polyandy is mostly a practical development, a mode of survival if you will. Most tribes which pratice either tend to do this in places where there is either too many women or too many men or where women ( in the case of polygamy) are seen as being more vulnerable for example widows of relatives etc... who could end up starving should a man not add them to their family.

I believe the West often sees Polygamy in particular too much in terms of sexual gratification when it really has little to do with it. A woman in most tribal constraints needs a man to survive. A woman who has been married and has children from another man and is widowed will often not be able to culturally be re-instated into the tribal fold. Polygamy can often be a "helping hand" and the only cultural /societal way for the woman not be end up an outsider.

I do agree that Polygamy is usually practised in societies where women are considered inferior and yet many tribal women actually gain power from that system. Many women also do like the fact that other women mean less work, that the children all become part of a larger familial group , that sex is not expected as often and as much by husbands which let's face they mostly did not choose and of course a heightened social status. Many men who have multiple wives feel they "have" to have sex with some of them and to them it can also be a chore. Many second, third, etc.. wives are grand-mothers and elderly for example and treated with respect not as sex objects.

I don't think the issue is quite a clear cut as it seems. We look at it from very Western eyes with little understanding of all the issues concerned.

I remember speaking to a woman in Papua New Guinea once who basically felt sorry for me because I only had one "husband ". She really did pity me and here I was thinking she was a slave to her husband... It made me feel quite humble and rather silly !

I think from our point of view we see Polygamy as a controlling and lecherous business whereby a man chooses to have lots of nubile sexually attractive young women to pander to their every sexual desires. The reality is tribally very different and often only a means of social inclusion and survival.

[effie g-tad]

moosketeer, what can i say, your recapitulation from an anthropologist's view is great and perfectly understandable.

my western viewpoint, however, should not exhaust itselft in being perceived as antagonistic but all i am given to be content with - which i am not!!!



pleading for more dialogue and better interaction!

[tjd8591]

Originally Posted by hkgal

I was wondering if other's had any thoughts on this question?

I posted it on the AA forum because I want responses from a philosophical standpoint rather than a biblical one.

I wondered about it after studying a world religions paper, covering the mormon break away groups who rejected the practice of polygamy. Now, I understand this was on religious grounds, but it got me thinking about the subject in general, and as to why it should (or should not) be outlawed in the first place, regardless of your religious beliefs.

My stance is that I don't think there is a moral argument against it, assuming all parties are consenting (i.e. they all know about it and give their consent). One man can marry multiple women, and likewise one woman can marry multiple men (however I see the former being MUCH more common for obvious reasons i.e. the practicalities of raising children).

I can see where it can become legally complex though, and this is the only reason I can see for governments outlawing it - certainly not because it's inherently 'wrong' or immoral. I think in real life, it's probably not going to work too well for most people but regardless, I'm not sure it should be illegal?

Anyone else's thoughts? Others agree or am I just waaaay out there? If you disagree on non-religious moral grounds, why?

I disagree with polygamy in most cases for the simple fact that most people couldn't make it work. I think marriage would be emotionally difficult enough with just one spouse, let alone four or five. Obviously I wouldn't mind the sexual aspect of it but I still think that if you want to be with someone for the rest of your life, it should be one person as it would be emotionally stressful for me and most likely my spouse. If all the spouses were cool with it, then no, I don't see any problem, but if any one spouse has a problem with it I wouldn't say it is morally healthy for the family.

[effie g-tad]

back to topic.

some very sophisticated correspondence of great philosophers with ....
could enlighten and inspire even hard-core posters here .... if reading were still beneficial to our lifestyles - imho.

[jc76]

WTF?!?!!
I could not handle ONE wife, why would i wanna commit suicide by wedding several of them???!!!
I say if it's ok with ALL ADULT PARTIES INVOLVED, it should be allowed. I really don't "get it", just like I don't get Gay marriage, but it's not my right to dictate others lives and alter their rights as human beings.

[tjd8591]

Originally Posted by jc76

WTF?!?!!
I could not handle ONE wife, why would i wanna commit suicide by wedding several of them???!!!
I say if it's ok with ALL ADULT PARTIES INVOLVED, it should be allowed. I really don't "get it", just like I don't get Gay marriage, but it's not my right to dictate others lives and alter their rights as human beings.

Just wondering, what's not to understand about polygamy or gay marriage? Two (or in the case of polygamy, more than two) people love each other and want to spend their lives together. I don't think there's any more to understand than with a heterosexual marriage between two people.

[mjohnson4381]

I have a problem with it because of my stance against treating women like objects. I have a problem with little girls being raised to think that the only possible destiny for them is to be one of many wives to a man that barely knows or respects any of them. Women can be more than baby machines.