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I'm actually getting married next week and I'm an atheist so this felt right down your alley.
Everyone knew there was no chance of us getting married in a church so it was never brought up, but we would have NEVER done it. Ever. In fact, if any of our family members would have been insistent upon it, it would have made me even more against it.
We're going to do the city-hall thing so we can save money (trying to buy our first house this November). When we return back to our native state, we'll have a small get together, pot luck-type of thing and announce it.
What if you're both Atheists but the family insists on having a church wedding for the sake of tradition/formality?
I'm pretty sure of what "I" would do....but i'd love to hear your thoughts
My wife and I are both agnostics. We just recently got married (Feb) after six years of living together. My mother-in-law is a practicing Christian (she's also the closest I've ever seen one to actually living the life) and my mom is Catholic. We would in no way have a church wedding. Not only do we have our agnostic ways, but this was the second marriage for both of us and we were not interested in the hassle, expense and all that. Quite frankly, if it hadn't been for the legal aspects, we were content in not getting married at all.
We kept it very simple: jeans, boots and a nice shirt. No cake, no flowers, no reception, no bridesmaids, no groomsmen, no ring bearers or musicians. The money we would have spent on all that nonsense gave us a good extra week in Hawaii! The person we had marry us was a non-denominational/non-sectarian minister who respected all faiths....not just Christian. He kept it very generic and even asked us if we wanted a blessing or not. The ceremiony was focused on us and our commitment and not god or any other religious thing.
Both my mom and my mother-in-law respected our wishes and we had no problems. Fortunately for us, our family realizes that this was about us and not them. Had they given us a hard time though, we had already made up our mind that we would do as we wished. Marriage is about the couple...not the extended family.
Last edited by Fullback32; 07-13-2009 at 10:54 AM..
Sure why not. After all, nothing means anything. It's all in your mind and in your thoughts. If you believe getting married in a church would be wrong for you, then it will be.
Does it really matter either way? In the end, when your lying on your death bed, when you look back, won't you really feel silly that you were troubled by things such as this, which in the grand scheme of life you come to realize, they aren't important anyways. All of us have a tendency to be dogmatic, but sometimes all we need is a little simplicity.
Yeah it doesn't mean anything to me either way. I'm getting married next year and my fiancee and I are actually having our ceremony at the reception hall...so its right to cocktail hour after the ceremony! Not sure who we'll be getting to marry us yet.
I've never found anyone who wanted to marry me so I guess I'll never have to worry about it. If I ever did I think it would be fun to go to Las Vegas to get married. A coworker of mine got married there and a bunch of us from work flew there for the wedding. It was actually a very nice ceremony and wasn't religious. They even have wedding chapels in some of the casinos and that's where it was held.
My husband's family does not know that we are atheists (they just think we're "lapsed Christians"), so when we were married we compromised. We did not get married in a church, but rather at his mother's home. The officiator was a pastor (my father in law's best friend), however. We made it clear we wanted low key and simple. It was all casual, t-shirts and jeans, with a ham dinner at the end. It went over well. My mother in law (surprisingly enough) made no fuss over us not being married in a church, even though her other two sons had their ceremonies in one.
What if you're both Atheists but the family insists on having a church wedding for the sake of tradition/formality?
I'm pretty sure of what "I" would do....but i'd love to hear your thoughts
Been there done that.....Never again.
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If I ever did I think it would be fun to go to Las Vegas to get married. A coworker of mine got married there and a bunch of us from work flew there for the wedding. It was actually a very nice ceremony and wasn't religious. They even have wedding chapels in some of the casinos and that's where it was held.
