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Old 10-03-2009, 04:10 PM
 
Location: Costa Rica
15 posts, read 21,137 times
Reputation: 15

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Hi, this is my first post but I've been reading the Atheism and Agnosticism forum for a while.

I got here because of one reason and I don't seem to find an answer nowhere so I hope someone can help me.

I'm 26, when I meet a girl everything goes just fine until she starts talking about god. I live in Costa Rica, it's what I'd call a catholic country (even though catholic church is losing followers real fast because people is switching mostly to evangelical churches), it's not easy to find atheist/agnostic people (I've never tried it though) therefore I always end up dating a believer...

My problem is what I see on their eyes when I say I don't believe in a god and that I'm not a religious person, I fell like they see a monster in me and I feel like they start considering me an empty, evil person. I also perceive fear, and no argument can possibly change the fact that they dismiss me almost immediately.

I always say I don't need a religion or fearing a god to be a good person.
I don't drink or smoke, I'm not a "party boy", I have a good job and go to college, I love running and go to gym to be healthy but none of this things help when you say you are a non believer.

I will definitely not join a religion to make people happy... I won't live a lie just to fit in so please share what you think and how to avoid feeling this way cause this is killing me =/

Last edited by zhaga; 10-03-2009 at 04:19 PM..
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Old 10-03-2009, 04:15 PM
 
Location: Somewhere on Earth
1,052 posts, read 1,643,044 times
Reputation: 712
Cheer up and stay true to yourself. Just because a person are of X religion, doesn't make them the holy messiah or anything really

If those girls look at you funny, look at them funny back. Call them out on this issue publicly to embarrass them further. Those girls are not ladies anyways if they stare down at you, which means making them blubber in public is totally fair game.

As for finding someone to date, I'm pretty sure you still have time. Not all religious girls are going to cap on you being an atheist as long as you don't do the same to them. It's a two-way street.
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Old 10-03-2009, 07:31 PM
 
Location: Space Coast
1,988 posts, read 5,368,550 times
Reputation: 2768
If they are looking down on you because of that, then they are probably not worth it anyway. Who wants to date someone that narrow-minded?
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Old 10-03-2009, 08:34 PM
 
Location: Bellingham, WA
9,726 posts, read 16,685,141 times
Reputation: 14887
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eresh View Post
If they are looking down on you because of that, then they are probably not worth it anyway. Who wants to date someone that narrow-minded?
+1 I view this the same way I view someone who wouldn't date me because I prefer to ride a bike or walk instead of driving. If they don't like it, more power to them. They can find someone else to drive them around. But if someone is expecting you to change your beliefs or lack of belief to suit them, then run the other way rapidly.
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Old 10-03-2009, 09:41 PM
 
Location: Texas
1,301 posts, read 2,104,565 times
Reputation: 749
You just need to have faith...





Faith that you'll find a good girl one day who isn't so judgmental and ignorant of those who don't believe

All I can tell you is to keep looking, man. Be patient. That's all I can really say .
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Old 10-03-2009, 09:59 PM
 
1,266 posts, read 1,794,756 times
Reputation: 644
Don't go as far as telling them that you don't believe in god - just tell them you are not religious. After spending some time together, and once they get to know you better and see you are a respectable person and of good character, then you can go to the next level and tell them your disbelief (if you decide it is someone you wish to further develop a relationship with). Their familiarity with you by that time should "soften the blow" a bit.
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Old 10-03-2009, 11:03 PM
 
Location: Valencia, Spain
16,155 posts, read 12,803,795 times
Reputation: 2879
Quote:
Originally Posted by zhaga View Post
I don't drink or smoke, I'm not a "party boy",.....
Ah! Well that's where you're going wrong young fella. See, you're mixing in the wrong 'circles'. Take up smoking, start drinking, go to rockin' clubs, bars and dances and then you'll find all the chicks that enjoy a good time and are not stuffy old bible believing 'don't put your hand on my bum' types. Get rockin'
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Old 10-03-2009, 11:44 PM
 
Location: Metromess
11,798 posts, read 25,098,612 times
Reputation: 5219
The right girls won't think of you as a 'monster' if you are an atheist. You just have to look harder. They're out there!
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Old 10-04-2009, 05:58 PM
 
Location: Costa Rica
15 posts, read 21,137 times
Reputation: 15
yeah I guess I'll have to keep looking until I find a not so narrow minded person

I really hate that humans are so complicated... take a look at the animals or nature as a whole... you see no bulls**t there, just species getting along, we are the only ones that get away from people you like just because our disturbed thoughts! it's like our brains are against nature or something
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Old 10-04-2009, 07:54 PM
 
11,865 posts, read 16,954,697 times
Reputation: 20084
Are you sure it's them and not you? Maybe you think they'll see you as a "monster" so you look for the signs of it in any little abnormality.

I have beliefs, but I do not practice any religion in particular. I respect others' thinking whether they believe or not. I would hope that if we met you would not assume that I automatically thought you were bad.

Have a little faith - in people.
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