Abstinence Is The Best Policy For Fecal-Borne Diseases (believe, America, moral)

[GCSTroop]

It's no secret that fecal matter, especially in third world countries where proper plumbing is an issue (if not a downright disaster), causes more death and mayhem than can possibly be imagined. That's why I think we should adopt a more rigorous structure by teaching that abstinence is the best policy when it comes to defecating.

That's enough out of you over there in the corner claiming that proper sanitation measures could be just as effective without denying a basic human need! The only way to tackle this problem is head on. Providing proper sanitation, even cheap plumbing, would be far more expensive and more ineffective than simply abstaining from crapping altogether.

With the litany of diseases transmitted by fecal matter (E. coli, cholera, gastric fever, et al.) it's no wonder that so much of the world's population suffers from fecal-borne diseases. Cholera epidemics, typhus outbreaks, and e. coli have become rampant in this crazy world of dookie. We need to put an end to dookie and we need to do it now.

I no longer want to hear about teachers in school telling our children that using the bathroom is a "natural body function." For one, it's plainly evident that with the proper amount of control, cream cheese bagels, and certain constipation medications, we can all but entirely avoid this dirty, nasty and vile habit the world's population has so willingly overlooked.

I firmly believe that dumping in any and all form or fashion is also leading to the serious moral degradation this country and the rest of the world faces. I remember a time when the word "poop" or other references to this grotesque bodily function simply weren't mentioned in public. Now, you can't go anywhere without hearing a rap song talking about the joys of pooping. You can't watch TV without some sort of fecal-innuendo making its way on screen. And, by golly, if I hear another fart joke, I think I'm going to scream. People look at this act as something to laugh about. We've become tolerant of pooping and it's seriously hurting the moral foundation of this country.

The more one begins to ponder and think about the problems of society, the more it all falls back on one thing - crap. Crap is the world's leading producer of problems and, quite frankly, it should be eradicated.

"But, how can you stop crapping altogether," you might ask? It's understandable that crapping will not stop all over the world. But, we need to teach our children that crapping should wait until they're ready to do it with someone they can trust for the rest of their lives. Teenagers, even children are participating in crapping at an unprecedented level. It's time we put a stop to this and let them know that crapping should only be done with someone they truly love and only when they're ready for that type of commitment.

We need to get rid of those days where going off to college means getting boozed up, dabbling in a few illicit sex activities, and then getting up to drop a big one off in their dorm toilet. The last thing we need to worry about are our college kids, our high school teens, and our elementary school children becoming seriously ill or even dying at the hands of some bacteria or virus lingering around in poo-poo. We need to do away with this practice and the tolerance of it in our society forever more.

I propose a plan to put up billboards, signs, and place ads in newspapers and TV channels to "Cut The Crap." I would like to see the rest of America on board with me so that we can make headway and set the example for the rest of the world.

Eventually, I hope to "Cut The Crap" all over the world and rid humanity once and for all of those dreadful fecal-borne pests!

[Yzette]

Your harsh words make the Baby Tub Girl cry.

[catman]

I'm unsure of the point being made(?). but it's a hilarious post!

[GCSTroop]

Originally Posted by catman

I'm unsure of the point being made(?). but it's a hilarious post!

I'll give you a hint... What is generally behind the thought process that sexual abstinence is the only method that should be taught to handle the issues of STD's, teen pregnancies, and other such problems?

I'll give you another hint... It starts with 'R' and rhymes with 'e-ligion."

I'm merely pointing out how abstinence of other natural bodily functions could solve numerous worldwide problems as well. And, I'm also using a few of the arguments frequently heard to explain non-relevant issues to said bodily functions - moral degradation, a loosening of the fabric of society, etc...

Better yet... Read it again and replace any instance of the word "crap, fecal matter, poop, etc..." with the word "sex" (or a variation of it). Perhaps it'll become a little clearer then??

[helios666]

This post immediately made me think of this:


YouTube - Overcoming Bowel Movements

[ovcatto]

Twisted, truly twisted, funny but twisted as all hell.

[Deb in VA]

It's a stupid analogy Troop.

You don't have to have sex in order to survive. Yes, sex is necessary in order to procreate but if one chooses to be abstinant, they will not die.

However, if one were even able to choose to not defecate, that person would soon get very sick and I would think eventually die.

Nope, not a good comparison at all.

Try again.

[rayneinspain]

Originally Posted by Deb in VA

if one chooses to be abstinant, they will not die.

Virgins are immortal?

[GCSTroop]

Originally Posted by Deb in VA

It's a stupid analogy Troop.

You don't have to have sex in order to survive. Yes, sex is necessary in order to procreate but if one chooses to be abstinant, they will not die.

However, if one were even able to choose to not defecate, that person would soon get very sick and I would think eventually die.

Nope, not a good comparison at all.

Try again.

Both of them are basic human biological needs. I'm well aware of the consequences of what denying one or both of those needs is.

However, there seems to be a movement in America comprised largely of religious ideologues who feel that even the mention of sex should be handled with delicate white gloves and that the only way to prevent things like pregnancy, the spread of STD's, etc... is through abstinence.

I'll agree that abstinence is an effective measure. If you don't have sex, you're not going to get pregnant or catch an STD. I'll grant them that. But, asking people to refrain from this basic biological need is no different than asking them to refrain from going to the bathroom. In other words, you're not going to get a group of people to completely abstain from sex any more than you are going to get them to completely abstain from defecating. People are going to act on their biological impulses whether you like it or not. Denying them that luxury; teaching them that they must ignore their biological impulses is not only stupid but irresponsible. As irresponsible, say, as telling them not to go to the bathroom.

The analogy was meant to poke fun and satirize the ridiculousness of the abstinence-only movement because of its lofty and completely unexpected goals - not to compare the physiological consequences of what happens when you deny those needs.

[catman]

Originally Posted by GCSTroop

But, asking people to refrain from this basic biological need is no different than asking them to refrain from going to the bathroom. In other words, you're not going to get a group of people to completely abstain from sex any more than you are going to get them to completely abstain from defecating...

They are alike in that respect, but "no different" is hardly true. There have been times in my life when I thought I would die if I didn't have sex, but there really is no substitute for defecation.