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Old 11-03-2010, 07:49 AM
 
1,301 posts, read 1,851,892 times
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How can lying to your congregation for years and promoting yourself as a husband and father all the while living a lie be considered courageous? Calling this so called man of god a hypocrite would be much more accurate. Same goes for Eddie Long as everyone with the exception of his sheep I mean flock can see this man for what he is. What would have been courageous is for the man to stand on principles and admit years ago that he is gay instead of marrying a women and having children with her. His owns words state that he knew he was gay when he was a boy. Plenty of gays don't stay in the closet and come out knowing that it will affect their lives negatively. Those are the people that are truly courageous not someone who decides after decades to do so. My sister in law is an example of this.

Jim Swilley’s courageous coming-out | Cynthia Tucker
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Old 11-03-2010, 07:58 AM
 
Location: Atlanta and St Simons Island, GA
20,895 posts, read 32,882,944 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by suprascooby22 View Post
How can lying to your congregation for years and promoting yourself as a husband and father all the while living a lie be considered courageous? Calling this so called man of god a hypocrite would be much more accurate. Same goes for Eddie Long as everyone with the exception of his sheep I mean flock can see this man for what he is. What would have been courageous is for the man to stand on principles and admit years ago that he is gay instead of marrying a women and having children with her. His owns words state that he knew he was gay when he was a boy. Plenty of gays don't stay in the closet and come out knowing that it will affect their lives negatively. Those are the people that are truly courageous not someone who decides after decades to do so. My sister in law is an example of this.

Jim Swilley’s courageous coming-out | Cynthia Tucker
Could not have said it better myself...and by that I mean what you said, suprascooby, not that idiot Cynthia Tucker.
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Old 11-03-2010, 08:06 AM
 
1,301 posts, read 1,851,892 times
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Originally Posted by LovinDecatur View Post
Could not have said it better myself...and by that I mean what you said, suprascooby, not that idiot Cynthia Tucker.
I know the AJC is a left leaning as they come but I honestly cant understand why they continue to employ that women. I usually dont agree with Bookman but I can atleast see him as somewhat rational. Meaning debatable. Tucker is a rabid leftist that harps on, racism, illegals, gays, and conservatives in almost all her hit pieces. See truly is a one trick pony!

Last edited by suprascooby22; 11-03-2010 at 08:46 AM..
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Old 11-03-2010, 08:23 AM
 
28,109 posts, read 24,632,008 times
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I''ll give the guy credit for coming out. The pressure on gay people to deny their feelings and try to live as heterosexuals is huge.

And it's not just being gay that people hide. Think of all the folks you know who've been in terrible marriages or jobs that they've hated, yet they stayed put forever. The pressure to conform to what we believe are social norms is a mighty force. It often takes people decades to come to grips with their true feelings, and some go through their whole lives in denial. Even the ones who figure it out frequently don't have the courage to do anything about it.

So while the guy may have been in the closet way too long he gets props for finally dealing with it. Maybe it will help other people who are struggling with some inner conflict. Hopefully before they do something destructive or fatal.
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Old 11-03-2010, 08:48 AM
 
1,301 posts, read 1,851,892 times
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Originally Posted by arjay57 View Post
I''ll give the guy credit for coming out. The pressure on gay people to deny their feelings and try to live as heterosexuals is huge.

And it's not just being gay that people hide. Think of all the folks you know who've been in terrible marriages or jobs that they've hated, yet they stayed put forever. The pressure to conform to what we believe are social norms is a mighty force. It often takes people decades to come to grips with their true feelings, and some go through their whole lives in denial. Even the ones who figure it out frequently don't have the courage to do anything about it.

So while the guy may have been in the closet way too long he gets props for finally dealing with it. Maybe it will help other people who are struggling with some inner conflict. Hopefully before they do something destructive or fatal.
To me labeling what he did as courageous is just ridiculous though. Courageous would be admitting early on that you are gay and forming a gay friendly church that he would have pastored too. What he did is disengenious and hypocritical. Especially what he did to his children!
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Old 11-03-2010, 09:12 AM
 
123 posts, read 325,676 times
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If his congregation stays they are fools. I can't stand people who live a lie. I feel bad for his wife and kids.
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Old 11-03-2010, 09:23 AM
 
28,109 posts, read 24,632,008 times
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Originally Posted by suprascooby22 View Post
Courageous would be admitting early on that you are gay and forming a gay friendly church that he would have pastored too.
I thought that's what he was doing? No?

I''ll say this about his kids. They're bound to have a lot more respect and affection for him for having the guts to be who he is than they would if he kept living a lie. Families are pretty resilient, and hopefully they are the one place where you can finally say who you really are (or are becoming) without fear of being judged.

We went throughout this just recently with some dear friends whose son came out as gay. Everyone felt honored that he trusted us enough to tell the truth about how he felt. He also said it helped him a lot to know of other people who'd had the courage to come out.

As I say, this preacher probably should have come out of the closet long ago. It would have been easier on everyone else and him, too. But he didn't and he has to do deal with reality now and in the future. At least he had the guts to do the right thing. What would you recommend, that he keep on living the lie?
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Old 11-03-2010, 09:35 AM
 
1,301 posts, read 1,851,892 times
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Originally Posted by arjay57 View Post
I thought that's what he was doing? No?

I''ll say this about his kids. They're bound to have a lot more respect and affection for him for having the guts to be who he is than they would if he kept living a lie. Families are pretty resilient, and hopefully they are the one place where you can finally say who you really are (or are becoming) without fear of being judged.

We went throughout this just recently with some dear friends whose son came out as gay. Everyone felt honored that he trusted us enough to tell the truth about how he felt. He also said it helped him a lot to know of other people who'd had the courage to come out.

As I say, this preacher probably should have come out of the closet long ago. It would have been easier on everyone else and him, too. But he didn't and he has to do deal with reality now and in the future. At least he had the guts to do the right thing. What would you recommend, that he keep on living the lie?
What I would prefer is for him not to get married to a WOMEN and have children with her when he admits that he knew he was gay as a young boy. I would also prefer him not to be putting out that he is some hetero family man and leading a congregation of people that believe this to be true all the while being a blatant lier. In the end one of two things will happen. One ,this church will ask him to step aside and find another place to attend or this church will fold all together. No way this guy keeps his congregation after this.
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Old 11-03-2010, 09:50 AM
 
28,109 posts, read 24,632,008 times
Reputation: 9523
Quote:
Originally Posted by suprascooby22 View Post
What I would prefer is for him not to get married to a WOMEN and have children with her when he admits that he knew he was gay as a young boy. I would also prefer him not to be putting out that he is some hetero family man and leading a congregation of people that believe this to be true all the while being a blatant lier.
Well, that's history, man. You can't change what was.

We're talking about the here and now. In my opinion, it was gutsy for him to finally come out, even though he knows the cost will be high, rather than perpetuating the lie. He said he hoped maybe it will help others and I have to believe that's the case. If more people were willing to come out back when he was a kid it might have been easier for him.

If you've live in Atlanta long enough, you'll remember the words of one of our musical giants, as true today as ever.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoznjbKVnmw
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Old 11-03-2010, 10:29 AM
 
Location: Atlanta, GA
1,262 posts, read 2,443,780 times
Reputation: 966
Quote:
Originally Posted by suprascooby22 View Post
What I would prefer is for him not to get married to a WOMEN and have children with her when he admits that he knew he was gay as a young boy. I would also prefer him not to be putting out that he is some hetero family man and leading a congregation of people that believe this to be true all the while being a blatant lier. In the end one of two things will happen. One ,this church will ask him to step aside and find another place to attend or this church will fold all together. No way this guy keeps his congregation after this.
I watched an interview with him and he said that his wife knew he was gay before they were married. However, they decided to stay together and work things out. No matter my opinion of this, it's a personal matter between a husband and wife.

Also, I grew up in a very Southern, upper middle class, religious, and conservative home. I am the only child and only grandchild on my father's side. To say that there were huge expectations placed upon me would be an understatement. However, when I did come out in my early 20s, I did so with the support of my friends, family, and church.

Coming out is a very personal decision, that they only can make. Not being ready to accept the responsibilities and attention when you come out can be truly detrimental to a person, even fatal. Making that decision is actually more selfless than selfish. Most people stay in the closet, not because they are worried about themselves, but they are worried about the ones that they love.
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