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To the OP- I feel the same way. You always hear about how you should go to school, get good grades, work hard, go to college and then you'll be able to get a better job. I don't know how old you are but I went to college, worked hard for good grades (as did my boyfriend) now that we've graduated, we can't find good jobs. Or in his case, any in his field. I had my first dose of reality at age 25, when I realized my bachelor's degree (in business) isn't worth anything.
Its just so disheartening to work so hard...for what?
Finally...someone who can relate! Thanks for the support!
In general I think the list of wants that have become needs to many has grown considerably. As the saying goes our parents spent 30 years getting the "nice" stuff that many of us now want and expect in our 20's. If your always trying to keep up with the wants it will be a tough one IMO. If one does pay their dues, saves and invests, then they should be able to enjoy it later on. Easier said for some then others.
Some of us are content with a used car and would rather spend the money on paying down our home or investing then purchasing a new car that falls in value. Bottom line for these people I think is they live healthier, less stressful lives and that is important to them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by taphest
I was simply sharing my frustration with never seeming to have enough for all the things that I want for my family. Certainly, there are some things on my list that we can do without, but I have been paying my dues for all these years and I am ready to collect.
I love your open and positive attitude. Most people getting the kind of feedback you've been getting would write an angry and defensive post or two. You deserve an A for attitude and online courtesy!
I think your house expectations are out of line with your budget - except perhaps if you are willing to go a really long way out from the city, as I think you mentioned in your original post. You just won't find the house, neighborhood and schools you want at that price. There are basically three factors - house, neighborhood/schools, price - and you can pick any two. In the area where I live (northeast Cobb), for example, it's very safe with tremendous schools and right now there are lots of family homes available under $250K. However, those homes are older and smaller than you've specified and probably don't have gourmet kitchens either.
As for the rest, it reads like you'd need a family income in maybe the $200K range....
reminds me of those commercials for that JG wnetworth---I need cash NOW!
Go sing for it!
Seriously, we all would like a better lifestyle, and reality is always a shock. For the OP, well, all I can say is, it will always be like this, the lifestyle you want will always be slightly out of your reach. That doesn't mean you can't try to close the gap as much as possible.
This reminds me of a neighbor of mine,she "gently" educated her 4 children about the economic realiities of life without pushing so hard the kids tuned her out. She would be drivng past some nice apts, just mention, the rent there is XXX. that was it, let them digest that. Then later she would perhaps see a nice house in a nice neighborhood, grab a flyer, that house cost XXX. Then later mention a career, they make about XXX. Another career makes considerably more, or less. She just gave them the facts, let them digest them. the point was, certain lifestyles cost a certain amount, and careers pay within certian ranges. BTW, all 4 of her kids are successful today.
I think parents owe it to their kids to educate them about the economic realities of life, don't just let them bump into it with silly pieces of advice, like do what you want and the money will flow, etc, etc. At least give them a heads up about reality before they bump into it, like the OP has.
Location: Mableton, GA USA (NW Atlanta suburb, 4 miles OTP)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by taphest
I appreciate you all (responders) for your candor, and I agree with most of what was written here. Perhaps, this is part of my problem (according to how many of you see it), but I don't think I'm materialistic at all. After reading your posts, I actually sat down and revisited our priorities list, which I will share:
1. Nice house (2002 or newer, $250k, well built, partially finished basement, 3000+ sf, gourmet kit, 4br) in a relatively safe neighborhood in a good school district as indicated by annual stdzd national test scores, programs offered and school visit.
2. One annual family vacation.
3. Prefer private school, but willing to settle for a good public school.
4. Money to contribute twd our retirement fund.
5. Money for regular shopping to buy regular things (furniture, clothes, electronics, etc) w/o having to save first or penny pinch.
6. A luxury car for me since I'm on my 3rd Honda Accord. This is in no means a must-have; however, hubby agreed we could do this when/if times are good.
That's our list in a nutshell. Well, what do you think? Am I materialistic, living in a fantasy or not?
It's going to depend on your income, obviously. My wife and I would not be able to manage your list even without the layoff we went through in 2002 that we're still recovering from, but our expectations are also considerably less demanding than yours. We also don't have kids.
Given the current economy, I wouldn't count on the above happening for a while unless you're each making well into the six digit range.
reminds me of those commercials for that JG wnetworth---I need cash NOW!
Go sing for it!
Seriously, we all would like a better lifestyle, and reality is always a shock. For the OP, well, all I can say is, it will always be like this, the lifestyle you want will always be slightly out of your reach. That doesn't mean you can't try to close the gap as much as possible.
This reminds me of a neighbor of mine,she
"gently" educated her 4 children about the economic realiities of life without pushing so hard the kids tuned her out. She would be drivng past some nice apts, just mention, the rent there is XXX. that was it, let them digest that. Then later she would perhaps see a nice house in a nice neighborhood, grab a flyer, that house cost XXX. Then later mention a career,
they make about XXX. Another career makes considerably more, or less. She just gave them the facts, let them digest them. the point was, certain lifestyles cost a certain amount, and careers pay within certian ranges. BTW, all 4 of her kids are successful today.
I think parents owe it to their kids to educate them about the economic
realities of life, don't just let them bump into it with silly pieces of advice, like do what you want and the money will flow, etc, etc. At least give them a heads up about reality before they bump into it, like the OP has.
That's a great idea! I currently homeschool my two children (ages 4 and 6), and I try teaching them as much as their little brains can absorb about a variety of topics. I have not introduced them to economics, but maybe it's not too early.
I actually sat down and revisited our priorities list, which I will share:
5. Money for regular shopping to buy regular things (furniture, clothes, electronics, etc) w/o having to save first or penny pinch.
6. A luxury car for me since I'm on my 3rd Honda Accord. This is in no means a must-have; however, hubby agreed we could do this when/if times are good.
That's our list in a nutshell. Well, what do you think? Am I materialistic, living in a fantasy or not?
Regarding "5": Most "average" Americans do have to save in order to buy furniture and electronics. Those are not (for many) considered regular things that you shop frequently for. For many, regular things include food, needed clothing, personal daily-use products, etc. Furniture and electronics start to enter the "splurge" category.
Regarding "6": You don't need a luxury car to have a reliable car. Just don't buy another Accord.
Take the money difference between the luxmobile and a good normal model car, and put it in your retirement account or your child's college fund, or, as a down payment on a nicer home.
Regarding "5": Most "average" Americans do have to save in order to buy furniture and electronics. Those are not (for many) considered regular things that you shop frequently for. For many, regular things include food, needed clothing, personal daily-use products, etc. Furniture and electronics start to enter the "splurge" category.
Regarding "6": You don't need a luxury car to have a reliable car. Just don't buy another Accord.
Take the money difference between the luxmobile and a good normal model car, and put it in your retirement account or your child's college fund, or, as a down payment on a nicer home.
I am aware of the difference between everyday items and items that are needed but not bought on a regular basis. When it's necessary to buy these things, I want to be able to afford them without having to wait an extra 2-3 years. While I"m on the subject, I know the difference btwn luxury and reliable...I have reliable and now I want luxury. And I should be able to have luxury (if our budget allows for it) without feeling guilty. Would this mean less money for the retirement fund? Hopefully, not. I will continue making sacrifices and staying focused and will try not letting my so-called "housewives" mentality get the best of me :-)
I totally agree with the OP. In general, people do receive less and less compared to what we think we should be getting in return for our time and skills. This is partly a consequence of the free market economy we 'enjoy' in America. Those that run the businesses 95% of the time will cut costs and people and pay in order to be more or even perhaps excessively profitable before taking care of the people that bring them success. Even though it is contrary to the way most Americans believe, there does come a point when it is fundamentally wrong to make more profit, because it comes at the expense of people. Work harder, no breaks, cuts in pay, less time off, fewer or no benefits, don't even think of taking a vacation without feeling guilty when you get back... etc etc etc.
In this case businesses are robbing peter (employees) to pay paul (shareholders). Rich become richer and the poor or middle class less well off. Look at the distribution of wealth in America. It is sad and quite frankly frightening. The "class" division as it stands will only last so much longer. Something will give.
I know I have ranted a little myself, and perhaps many of you will not agree.
Back in the day (probably 50's-70's) someone with a high school education could go straight to work n some factory after graduation and practically have a job with benefits for life if they showed up every day. Sure, it wasn't the most exciting life but one person could usually support a family at a modest lifestyle. Seniority actually meant something and the work environment was probably a lot less tense as far as jockeying for promotions. Those who obtained a bachelor's degree could expect the same stability with extra pay and perks and the possibility of rising towards the top. Masters degrees probably weren't nearly as common and only those looking to reach the very tip top felt them to be necessary. PhDs were for academics and scientists.(GSU now has a PhD in Business...WTF?)
Nowadays most manufacturing jobs are in China or other places like that and the ones that are still here either don't pay crap are are so highly competitive it's not even funny. And forget about a bachelor's degree being worth much. In my opinion it's worth less than a HS diploma in the old days. In fact, I'd recommend trade school for most people who aren't interested in becoming doctors, engineers, lawyers, teachers or any other "profession." The thing is, "trade school" is still considered "13th grade" and only good enough for Bubba with the close-set eyes. Americans turn their nose up at trade schools while other countries emphasize them as a vital tool to keep their countries competitive in industry and new technology. Even white collar jobs are ending up in places like India. Masters degrees are a dime a dozen. I know several people with them who are having trouble finding work. Yet people still think traditional higher education is still bulletproof and are willing to go well into six figures of debt thinking they'll be rolling in dough and living the high life(instead of just drinking it). One of the main reasons I dropped out of law school was that so many lemmings have spoiled the market(I admit I was almost one). Of course another reason was that I have something called a soul...
The most terrifying thing about the job market nowadays in my opinion is the lack of stability. You can spend years going down a path to a career you've dreamed about(or at least felt you could tolerate) only to find out it has been digitized or sent overseas. Employers no longer have any loyalty to employees and vise versa. In order to survive and thrive in this job market you have to be extremely agile and persistent. Even then you need lots of luck.
Last edited by DTL3000; 02-06-2011 at 09:34 PM..
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