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Old 04-12-2011, 03:44 PM
 
32 posts, read 93,597 times
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My son was recently accepted to Woodward and Westminster, and we have to make a decision which one he will attend in the next two days. Normally, we would have chosen Woodward, hands down, no doubt about it. However, my son has longer hair. He wears it very neatly, but it falls to his collar. We were told by the middle school that in order to attend he would have to cut all of his hair off. Well he doesn't want to cut it, and neither do I. He's pretty much a conformist kid, much to my consternation, and this is the only area where he even attempts to not be "one of the crowd". This is his way of standing out, so I support him whole-heartedly. In addition, Woodward was never able to give me a definitive reason as to why he would have to cut his hair. Their only answer is, "it's in our handbook".

That being said, we are looking more closely at Westminster, who's policy merely states that his hair be clean and neat, and not hang freely down to his mid-back.

How is Westminster for black families? Is it still a school for people with "old" money? Are there any families there that aren't rich? Will my son be an outcast because we are just upper middle class? Does everyone who attends live in Buckhead? We live on the south side of town, is there any representation for families on our side of town?

If you are a Westminster parent, or know of any Westminster experiences, please let me know. I don't want my child to be miserable in a school, and feel like an outcast, simply because of a hairstyle. At that point, we'll cut his hair. But if all things are pretty much equal, then I see no point in forcing him to have an arbitrary haircut.

Any advice is much appreciated!
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Old 04-12-2011, 04:08 PM
 
1,704 posts, read 3,403,337 times
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Westminster is very much still a rich kids school. As with most of the private schools. There are probably exceptions to the rule, but do you want to be the exception?...doesn't sound like you do.

Woodward is good in that the demographics are all over the place.

BTW, the haircut rule may date back to the school's military background.
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Old 04-12-2011, 07:37 PM
 
876 posts, read 2,269,393 times
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I don't have direct elite private school experiences, just second hand info, but I will tell you, the commuting farther to Buckhead vs. College Park will make a difference over time from where you currently live.

I think it's possible the socio-economic class could be an issue for your son, more so than any racial one, but someone else with more first hand knowledge should comment on that one. There are some insightful threads here about private schools in Atlanta that alude to that.

I would personally choose Woodward because it is closer to where you live and it is somewhat more diverse than Westminster.

The good thing is you do have a choice, but I would weigh the commuting time, too. Best of luck to you.
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Old 04-12-2011, 07:45 PM
 
479 posts, read 699,704 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gddyupn View Post
How is Westminster for black families? Is it still a school for people with "old" money? Are there any families there that aren't rich? Will my son be an outcast because we are just upper middle class? Does everyone who attends live in Buckhead? We live on the south side of town, is there any representation for families on our side of town?

If you are a Westminster parent, or know of any Westminster experiences, please let me know.
What an incredibly ignorant post. The presumption being that whether a family's experience at Westminster is good or not is very possibly determined by their race, class and wealth. Because, of course, whitey is well known for exactly this kind of narrow minded bigotry.

So it seems its quite acceptable to openly suggest that the character, intelligence and personality of someone (what lies under the skin) could well have no relevance to a families' experience at Westminister. Thus, if a black family did have a "bad experience" there it would then be soley due to the soft ignorance and racism of whitey -- and have nothing to do with the families' own temperament.

Gosh, wouldnt it be grand if whitey could upgrade to being more just, tolerant, morally righteous and color blind like all the other "minorities"!??

PS: I did not attend Westminster, so I have no inherent need to defend the school. In fact, my post has little to do with Westminster. More so, why its ok to assume, first, that if a black person has a "bad experience" among whites, it proves whites are racist, above all and any other possibilites.
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Old 04-12-2011, 08:01 PM
 
1,704 posts, read 3,403,337 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bullbear View Post
What an incredibly ignorant post. The presumption being that whether a family's experience at Westminster is good or not is very possibly determined by their race, class and wealth. Because, of course, whitey is well known for exactly this kind of narrow minded bigotry.

So it seems its quite acceptable to openly suggest that the character, intelligence and personality of someone (what lies under the skin) could well have no relevance to a families' experience at Westminister. Thus, if a black family did have a "bad experience" there it would then be soley due to the soft ignorance and racism of whitey -- and have nothing to do with the families' own temperament.

Gosh, wouldnt it be grand if whitey could upgrade to being more just, tolerant, morally righteous and color blind like all the other "minorities"!??

PS: I did not attend Westminster, so I have no inherent need to defend the school. In fact, my post has little to do with Westminster. More so, why its ok to assume, first, that if a black person has a "bad experience" among whites, it proves whites are racist, above all and any other possibilites.

Alright, lets not get all overly sensitive. I see where you're coming from, but if I were her, I'd have the same concerns ...you would to.
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Old 04-12-2011, 08:13 PM
 
31,994 posts, read 36,544,457 times
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Gee, that's not an ignorant post at all. If my kid was going to a school where he'd be in a small minority I'd definitely want to know what experience others have had. Obviously we've come a long way on racial problems but it would be ridiculous to pretend that there aren't still issues.

Gddyupn, congrats on getting your kid into two great schools. I'm sure he'll flourish in either one.
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Old 04-12-2011, 09:04 PM
 
3,972 posts, read 12,609,521 times
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I would check with Westminster about the hair. My husband jokes that you can tell a public school middle school boy from a private school middle school boy by the length of the hair and style of the cut.

My two cents is this -- most Westminster kids come from Midtown and points north. Woodward is very geographically diverse with kids from north of Alpharetta to nearly the Alabama border. Woodward is the most diverse of any of the big, elite private schools both racially and economically.

Here is the deal with being middle class. It could be an issue at either school. If you and your son are bothered by what others have and do, then it is going to be hard. Expensive vacations, summer programs, access to the best private tutors and coaches will all be some of the opportunities that many of the students will have. That is something that only your family can decide about.

We have friends who saved and pinched pennies for their child to go to kindergarten at Woodward North. Within the first few months, after a few playdates, the child was clearly aware of what other families had and she didn't. It wasn't a good fit.

As parents who has had children in public and private, we have always been pretty down to earth. So, when our private school son would mention what some had and he didn't, we would just shrug our shoulders and say oh well. Or tell him to get a job. He had a good life, better than most, and so it was hard for him to feel sorry for himself. He just loved gadgets (still does).
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Old 04-12-2011, 09:18 PM
 
Location: metro ATL
8,180 posts, read 14,790,565 times
Reputation: 2698
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bullbear View Post
What an incredibly ignorant post. The presumption being that whether a family's experience at Westminster is good or not is very possibly determined by their race, class and wealth. Because, of course, whitey is well known for exactly this kind of narrow minded bigotry.

So it seems its quite acceptable to openly suggest that the character, intelligence and personality of someone (what lies under the skin) could well have no relevance to a families' experience at Westminister. Thus, if a black family did have a "bad experience" there it would then be soley due to the soft ignorance and racism of whitey -- and have nothing to do with the families' own temperament.

Gosh, wouldnt it be grand if whitey could upgrade to being more just, tolerant, morally righteous and color blind like all the other "minorities"!??

PS: I did not attend Westminster, so I have no inherent need to defend the school. In fact, my post has little to do with Westminster. More so, why its ok to assume, first, that if a black person has a "bad experience" among whites, it proves whites are racist, above all and any other possibilites.
Why don't you get the hell off his/her back???? You're always pouncing on someone in your crusade to make Black folks with legitimate racial concerns (which still do exist, but you probably wouldn't know that) look like pariahs. Well this is real life, race/class tensions do still exist in America and the South, and if this situation was totally reversed (White kid going to a predominantly Black school), the concerns would be just as legitimate.

You need to cut that $&!+ out, pronto. It's VERY old.
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Old 04-12-2011, 10:05 PM
 
1,498 posts, read 3,095,459 times
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I didn't go to Westminster, but I went to one of the other top tier private schools in Atlanta, and I had friends at both Westminster and Woodward.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gddyupn View Post
Is it still a school for people with "old" money? Are there any families there that aren't rich?
Yes, Westminster is very old money. It's also very snobby. Same with Lovett.

And there may be families that aren't "rich" that go there, but those families are likely on scholarship/financial aid. It's hard to drop that much $ for tuition and not be at least somewhat well-to-do.

Quote:
Will my son be an outcast because we are just upper middle class?
Well, the majority of Westminster is upper class, and the remainder is upper middle class. I wouldn't be concerned about him being an outcast because he's "only" upper middle class.

What I would be more worried about is the tendency for teenagers to try and keep up with friends who have no concept of money and are extremely spoiled by their parents. No-limit credit cards. Spring break trips always to an exclusive island in the Caribbean. Brand new car when you turn 16, Tahoe for the guys and BMW for the girls. Multiple country club memberships, house at Sea Island and Burton, etc. No job in the summer (because you have to go on Western Tour, of course!). Westminster definitely has more of these types of kids than any other private school.

Quote:
Does everyone who attends live in Buckhead? We live on the south side of town, is there any representation for families on our side of town?
The vast majority live in Buckhead. The rest are probably evenly split between Brookhaven, Vinings, and Druid Hills. If you have Dunwoody listed as your address, you're not getting into Westminster, so I doubt the south side has any significant representation.

Quote:
If you are a Westminster parent, or know of any Westminster experiences, please let me know. I don't want my child to be miserable in a school, and feel like an outcast, simply because of a hairstyle. At that point, we'll cut his hair. But if all things are pretty much equal, then I see no point in forcing him to have an arbitrary haircut.

Any advice is much appreciated!
What do you mean by long hair? As in dread-locks? I can't see that flying at Westminster. Nor could I see Westminster's hair policy being much different than Woodward. I'm pretty sure it's standard across the board for all private schools that guys' hair can't be longer than the ears, collar, or eyebrows.
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Old 04-12-2011, 10:16 PM
 
3,493 posts, read 7,892,203 times
Reputation: 7235
Either school will provide an excellent educational experience for your son, but it is very hard for me to believe that you are going to pay $22,000 per year for the next several years for an education for your child and the school's "hair policy" turns out to be the deciding factor.

College admissions, religious emphasis, test scores, community involvement.... there are many other features that differentiate private schools that are worthy of using as a "litmus test", but the hair policy???
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