Interracial dating for a black woman in ATL? (restaurant, date)

[Hotlanta2]

Originally Posted by tgify2001

Hello All,

I am a 28 year old professional black woman who is thinking about a move to Atlanta for a job opportunity. For various reasons, I have decided that it would be best for me to date interracially. I would like to hear comments from any minority women who date interracially about their experiences. Although I am quite conservative, I wonder how minority women fare in the interracial dating arena and how open-minded people are.

I apologize if this has been posted before, but I didn't see my exact issue when doing a search!

I absolutely LOOOOOOVE black women! Beautiful, smart, funny, caring. They have the whole package. When I see a white man with a black woman I think to myself, "What a lucky guy!"

[Reelist in Atlanta]

Originally Posted by tgify2001

Hello All,

I am a 28 year old professional black woman who is thinking about a move to Atlanta for a job opportunity. For various reasons, I have decided that it would be best for me to date interracially. I would like to hear comments from any minority women who date interracially about their experiences. Although I am quite conservative, I wonder how minority women fare in the interracial dating arena and how open-minded people are.

I apologize if this has been posted before, but I didn't see my exact issue when doing a search!

Can you tell me why you think it would be best for you to date interracially?

- Reel

[Britishintown]

We are all the same race, human, to me the concept of dating interracially would involve taking the neighbors pet cow to a barbecue pit, a bit insensitive to say the least.

[Boxcar Overkill]

Blue Line = Black Male/White Female
Red Line = Black Female/White Male


We should encourage white guys and black girls to date and marry more often.


We need to catch up.

And even if they don't get married, I can't help but think the country would be better off if every white guy, at some point in his life, has fell in love with a black girl, (and vice versa.)

[Chanel10]

Barack and Michele have an identity neither are ashamed of their blackness. Both are what black culture can be, has been and will be in the future; without the interracial trends. Black man get a clue.

[aries4118]

Originally Posted by Boxcar Overkill

Blue Line = Black Male/White Female
Red Line = Black Female/White Male


We should encourage white guys and black girls to date and marry more often.


We need to catch up.

And even if they don't get married, I can't help but think the country would be better off if every white guy, at some point in his life, has fell in love with a black girl, (and vice versa.)

I agree.

[gravyman]

WE NEED TO ACKNOWLEDGE SOMETHING CRUICIAL!!!- In general, MOST women (99%) are very restrictive about who they date. A Majority of the time people (esp. women) decide FROM A DISTANCE who they're interested in, so those reasons are primarily completely objective (money, class, looks and fetishes, but VERY LITTLE about who the person is). So this constipation of "LOVE" being thrown around when it comes to interracial dating needs to stop!!! It's BULLS#!T!!! There is absolutely no more love in interracial dating than same race dating. There might be a fetish about rebellion or exploration.- Women talk the MOST about love but absolutely know the LEAST about it. Women spend a large percentage of their life creating constructs of what love is like, what the man will look like, and all his superficial attributes. And when they find someone that fits the mold, they FORCE it; and it is always a HUGE turnoff but we will never let you know. Then you see them on Oprah talking about broken Heart and evil men. FAKENESS is something that will make us MERCILESS! ALL men want to find a woman who's good personality, values and convictions (regardless of money) makes us want to take care of her; but manipulation will turn us into monsters. When a woman wields sex as power and thinks it "controls" us, when she attempts little stupid sneaky OR in your face antics to test how much she can f^@k with you and all the time we can't complain. - We need to address our defective ideas of love before we talk about interracial love. - These black women who are validating their interracial relationships by bashing black men need to stop making up fraudulent statistics. Yes black men are less educated than whites, but the level is better than ever, NOT worse (this is 2009 idiots). "black men bashed black women first" - it is a stereotype but calling black women angry is not bashing, it's an exaggerated observation generally expressed playfully; black men are the ones that have been touting the beauty of black women (objectively yes) for all these years, and we are the reason white men nowadays find your plump butts (previously fat asses) attractive; we could've rapped and sung about white women instead, but we didn't. There is absolutely NO contemporary reasons for black women to be MORE angry with the social condition of black men than before, when it's obviously better. THE TRUTH IS, black beauty is a little more accepted nowadays, in commercials and socially black women have more white friends, and black women are riding the wave to Upward social mobility with more white hairstyles (esp darker black women), staying slimmer because the american "template beauty" seems more reachable, and white men being less intimidated, actually confident, and using the fact that black women blush over them. -Hold your comments and think first. PLEASE stop with the BULLS#!T political correctness, there are absolutely real social reasons/stereotypes for statistics especially in a place as "TRENDY" as America (not as you scared idiots love to say "that's just the way it is"). There are reasons/stereotypes why most asian women marry white men, there are reasons/stereotypes why some white women (esp. fat ones) feel comfortable with or want to try black men. -If you are in an interracial relationship please keep your irrational, defensive comments to yourself. Spend some time, do some self searching; and again keep the results to yourself and stop bashing black men.P.S. stop acting as if you are immune to the Trends that engulf the nation. You've been apart of it since highschool, you're really not that much mature now.

[AcidSnake]

Originally Posted by gravyman

WE NEED TO ACKNOWLEDGE SOMETHING CRUICIAL!!!- In general, MOST women (99%) are very restrictive about who they date. A Majority of the time people (esp. women) decide FROM A DISTANCE who they're interested in, so those reasons are primarily completely objective (money, class, looks and fetishes, but VERY LITTLE about who the person is). So this constipation of "LOVE" being thrown around when it comes to interracial dating needs to stop!!! It's BULLS#!T!!! There is absolutely no more love in interracial dating than same race dating. There might be a fetish about rebellion or exploration.- Women talk the MOST about love but absolutely know the LEAST about it. Women spend a large percentage of their life creating constructs of what love is like, what the man will look like, and all his superficial attributes. And when they find someone that fits the mold, they FORCE it; and it is always a HUGE turnoff but we will never let you know. Then you see them on Oprah talking about broken Heart and evil men. FAKENESS is something that will make us MERCILESS! ALL men want to find a woman who's good personality, values and convictions (regardless of money) makes us want to take care of her; but manipulation will turn us into monsters. When a woman wields sex as power and thinks it "controls" us, when she attempts little stupid sneaky OR in your face antics to test how much she can f^@k with you and all the time we can't complain. - We need to address our defective ideas of love before we talk about interracial love. - These black women who are validating their interracial relationships by bashing black men need to stop making up fraudulent statistics. Yes black men are less educated than whites, but the level is better than ever, NOT worse (this is 2009 idiots). "black men bashed black women first" - it is a stereotype but calling black women angry is not bashing, it's an exaggerated observation generally expressed playfully; black men are the ones that have been touting the beauty of black women (objectively yes) for all these years, and we are the reason white men nowadays find your plump butts (previously fat asses) attractive; we could've rapped and sung about white women instead, but we didn't. There is absolutely NO contemporary reasons for black women to be MORE angry with the social condition of black men than before, when it's obviously better. THE TRUTH IS, black beauty is a little more accepted nowadays, in commercials and socially black women have more white friends, and black women are riding the wave to Upward social mobility with more white hairstyles (esp darker black women), staying slimmer because the american "template beauty" seems more reachable, and white men being less intimidated, actually confident, and using the fact that black women blush over them. -Hold your comments and think first. PLEASE stop with the BULLS#!T political correctness, there are absolutely real social reasons/stereotypes for statistics especially in a place as "TRENDY" as America (not as you scared idiots love to say "that's just the way it is"). There are reasons/stereotypes why most asian women marry white men, there are reasons/stereotypes why some white women (esp. fat ones) feel comfortable with or want to try black men. -If you are in an interracial relationship please keep your irrational, defensive comments to yourself. Spend some time, do some self searching; and again keep the results to yourself and stop bashing black men.P.S. stop acting as if you are immune to the Trends that engulf the nation. You've been apart of it since highschool, you're really not that much mature now.

You made some great points. I would suggest breaking them down into several paragraphs. That way people wouldn't get lost in the words.

[justNancy]

Originally Posted by Britishintown

We are all the same race, human, to me the concept of dating interracially would involve taking the neighbors pet cow to a barbecue pit, a bit insensitive to say the least.

I know it has been months since this was posted, but can someone explain this comment to me? I find it to be interesting, but confusing.

"We are all the same race, human"

This implies that the writer is compassionate, has no prejudices and would, therefore, agree it doesn't matter whom we date.

"Dating interracially would involve taking the neighbors pet cow to a barbecue pit, a bit insensitive to say the least."

This statement contradicts the first, no? Or is it saying, "Why put someone through the pain of being exposed to stares and rude comments from bigots?"

BTW I don't live in Atlanta, but I've thought about moving there, so I really enjoyed reading this thread.

[StPaulEastSider]

IMHO Gravyman is first and foremost bitter and hateful. *shaking my head*

I have been in an IRR for going on 20 years, married 18 years. I read this thread and I see certain people spewing stereotypes and reducing the MIRACLE of finding one's soulmate to something less than celebratory.

When I met my husband we TALKED and TALKED and TALKED and TALKED. Our differences led us to ask deep and probing questions of one another. Our relationship started out as a mind f**k, and at times we still go there - it's far more than an animal sexual desire and I resent people who reduce all black/white relationships to such degrading stereotypes.

It is said opposites attract, I say opposites challenge us to grow and change and to beome better people. I love how Boxcar said everyone ought to love someone of another race at some point in your life... he hit the nail on the head because NOTHING in life is as powerful a force for change as is falling in love with another person. [Edit: I guess Boxcar was specifically referencing white men / black women, I took the liberty to extend the sentiment.]

If I had fallen in love with and married a white man I would not be the person I am today, I met my husband when I was still very young, it was a month after my 21st birthday. I was still very much trying to find myself. I had no thoughts of getting married anytime soon when I met him. At that point in my life I thought maybe once I reached my 30s I'd think about getting married, having kids - maybe.

To say meeting my husband rocked my world is an understatement - falling in love with him caught me totally off guard! I most certainly was not looking for a black man to marry, not even to f**k, hell - I told my husband the night we met I was fed up with men and thought my next relationship might be with a woman.

To reduce our love, our life together, and our family, which now includes four children, to stereotypes is insulting. At the end of the day, and at the end of our time together, when the day comes when in death we do part, it's really just the story of two people who met and feel in love. As common place as that may seem, when it happens to you, it is a miracle.

After all the years we have been together, he still makes my toes curl. My wish for the OP [who is no doubt long gone from this forum] is that she finds a man who will, twenty years from now, makes her toes curl. Yes, it really is that simple, and that complex. Such is the journey of love.

PEACE.