Interracial dating for a black woman in ATL? (Atlanta, White: renting, fence)

[Love Cobb]

I hate to say it but most african american men can't stand to see an african american woman with a white man, but they will go to a white woman in a heart beat (never understood that mentality). Having said that, why not try to casually meet some like minded people on line. There are plenty of sites I'm sure with people wanting to meet other races and hook up for conversation and possibly hook up. Good luck to you.

[Love Cobb]

Originally Posted by KevK

I am married to a black woman. Actually she is West Indian but she appears to be black to others until she speaks with her accent. We have had NO trouble here at all. We have gone many places too. We used to have some trouble in Chicago but down here people cool with it. In fact it is really quite the norm here.

Very interesting, I'm originally from Chicago and was just wondering were your issues with men or women and what race were they? Also what part of the city were you in?

[annibelle]

Originally Posted by south-to-west

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm a black man currently dating a white woman, not because she's white and it's "exciting", but moreso for the simple fact that the woman I fell in love with happened to have white skin. It has nothing to do on how I feel about black women. I've dated plenty of black women, as well as Latinas and Asians. Women all have their quirks no matter the ethnicity.

Don't disparage the men of an entire ethnic group by making blanket statements. Just because a person is black like you doesn't mean that you can easily read them. Also, not all of us have commitment issues, although I agree with the Cosby in needing to address issues regarding marriage in the black community.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't date someone of another ethnicity because your'e tired of the opposite sex of your own ethnicity. Choose the person based on compatability no matter the color.

I totally agree. Can't make blanket statements on forums. I fell in love with my husband who happens to be white. Still, I'll admit that there were more opportunities to date when my list included people of different races. I know personally so many sisters who not only want to date, but marry or be in a long term relationship. They are waiting for their black prince. All I'm saying is if that's what you want fine, but you'll be waiting a longer time. Even ESSENCE magazine has recognized that there is a "problem" in the our community with brothers wanting to commit to marriage. So, now ESSENCE has this whole series in their magazine about black men committing or marrying Still, please help me understand why out of whites, hispanics and blacks, the largest majority of single women are in the black community? Why is marriage not happening as often in the black community?

[annibelle]

Can anyone understand my comments without being offended? Did anyone not see the movie, "Something New"? There was a difference to me when dating men of different races. It was exciting and interesting to me because it was different. No, not all black men are dull so please don't take it that way. But for me it was different. You'll have to be strong and not care what others think about it or looks you get, but some may envy you for being brave enough not to care what others think. Or you can just keep waiting for the black prince to come along like my mother, sister and friends. They're all still single and can't understand that it's crazy competitive to wait for and date a black man in the black community. Black men, like my handsome and successful brother, are enjoying this. He has women fighting over him all of the time. He finally settled down 2 years ago and married, but women don't care. They're still after him. Oh well.

[CityFan]

Originally Posted by annibelle

He finally settled down 2 years ago and married, but women don't care. They're still after him. Oh well.

Will this pose any problems to his married life? I know black men can be very handsome and nice, but majority of them don't care about marriage and responsibilities. It all boils down to family value. I also heard some black guys at work comment on black girls who want to take things from men rather give to them or care for them. I guess that might be one of the reasons that black guys don't want to committ to girls of their own race. Please comment.

[annibelle]

Originally Posted by CityFan

Will this pose any problems to his married life? I know black men can be very handsome and nice, but majority of them don't care about marriage and responsibilities. It all boils down to family value. I also heard some black guys at work comment on black girls who want to take things from men rather give to them or care for them. I guess that might be one of the reasons that black guys don't want to committ to girls of their own race. Please comment.

Yes, its hard for him sometimes. He wears a ring, but there are not enough black men like my brother: tall, handsome, funny, financially successful. He's constantly turning women away,yet they're determined to have even a piece of him. Moreover, it's hard for his wife. My brother grew up spoiled because he was the only male in a house of 3 females. No father around to show him what it means to be a man. Often, he expects his wife to pick up the slack. And she does it too. She doesn't want to lose him to the flock of black women trying to get his attention or waiting for her to mess up. That's why I feel it's so much pressure on black women to find their black prince. As far as the last comment, of course there are gold diggers in every part of the world. That's why it's always important to date only those who have something to offer. If they don't, just don't go there.

[Arish]

Originally Posted by CityFan

Will this pose any problems to his married life? I know black men can be very handsome and nice, but majority of them don't care about marriage and responsibilities. It all boils down to family value. I also heard some black guys at work comment on black girls who want to take things from men rather give to them or care for them. I guess that might be one of the reasons that black guys don't want to committ to girls of their own race. Please comment.

Thank you for saying that because you hit it on the nail I couldn't have said it better. Now don't get me wrong there are some in other nationalities, but I have found it more so in black women. I dated my share in early life and pretty much ended up paying off debt more so than having a partner. Every since I started dating other nationalities it was more of a 50/50 effort on most things. I also found White women/Hispanic to be a bit more caring and they let you know how they feel more so than Afro American Women. I also had alot of problems with infidelity when I did date them in the past which really mentally disabled me.

Most Black women like to complain about losing there black men to other races. But when they find a good one the look right through him. Looking for someone with more than they have or appears to have more. I have found more Afro American women with guys with Range Rovers, Escalades, 300's and Navigators but the guys look and carry themselves like ****. But someone who carries them self with respect and is TRYING TO HAVE SOMETHING he isn't good enough. I gave up and moved on to something less challenging I like my old mustang and I am happy with it ! I work hard I have a nice apartment and I want someone that can appreciate what I have and work with me not against me.

[Betsey Lane]

PLEASE!!!!!! You love with your heart not with your eyes! In other words who cares if you're red, green, yellow or brown? Love is love and it sees no boundaries. It doesn't hold any stipulations. I would love you more if you were a little bit more white/black! I would love you even more if you didn't speak that way, or look that way! Girl, real love is UNCONDITIONAL, it just does what love does; it L-O-V-E-S!!!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by tgify2001

Thanks for the replies!

My concern was not with how other people would react to my ir dating, but rather if any non-black men would ask me out at all! I am from the North and have lived both there and on the coasts (NYC and SF). I have no knowledge of the South and how much it has changed from its past history. Please enlighten a sista!

[htmlfamily]

Originally Posted by tgify2001

Thanks for the replies!

My concern was not with how other people would react to my ir dating, but rather if any non-black men would ask me out at all! I am from the North and have lived both there and on the coasts (NYC and SF). I have no knowledge of the South and how much it has changed from its past history. Please enlighten a sista!

I think that is a great Idea! Just make sure you let the "white men" know of your intentions...And be sure to give the "the Ride of their Lives"...I know all about it...

[Arish]

Originally Posted by tgify2001

I didn't intend to sound clinical. I must admit that I am pretty hyper-educated, lol! That might be the reason for the "clinical" questions. I agree that what matters most is compatibility with someone.

I was raised in white areas and find that I don't have much in common with blacks, even suburban ones (ones from black suburbs). I have dated non-black men before, so that does not bother me at all! I just wanted to know what it was like in ATL. BTW, still thinking about moving there!

Don't Go there at all, just moved from there a month ago for that very reason. Interracial dating in Atlanta is dead for the most part. Unless you bring your partner with you and you will still have bad looks. It was alot better years ago when Atlanta had more of a night scene and the city was more diverse. Over the years everything has closed down and has caused a great divide between the cultures. White people are just not comfortable with the idea especially with what they have to deal with from the afro American population which Atlanta is mostly now. I was single three years no one was interested of another race at all and I am a handsome guy. There were options out there but not up to my standards I like people to act like there race. And I don't care to be in a serious relationship with exotic dancers if I can avoid it. But as far as white professionals with class and substance.. Forget it .. Forget it ! You may luck up, I am not saying it is a total waste. But if you are looking for selection forget it, more than likely you will have to settle. And I advise no one to do that just to date out side of there race. I am on the west coast now I feel comfortable asking Whites or Hispanics out with no problem and I have selection. Which I didn't feel that way in Atlanta at all they never gave me any indication they were interested. And when I stretched out and made an effort I never got a call back or totally respected. Out of 6 years living there I may have dated only two women and only one of them were sincere. And that was when I first got down there when the city had more diverse places to hang out. So out of 6 years I was single 4 of those because of my dating preferences. And the last 3 were unbearable that is why I am no longer there today. Trust me if you are use to the west coast or a place like Minnesota you may want to re think this move, because you will be packing soon.