Boyfriend moving to ATL due to job...asked me to go with him. (Atlanta: crime rates, home)

[bryantm3]

i know you love this guy, but you need to prepare for the future. what happens if you get down here and he decides he wants to break up, what do you do then? are you going to have a place in new york to go home to, are you going to be able to stay here? i'm not trying to rain on your parade or say that any of this will happen, but if it does i don't want you being left out in the cold.

you may have to just say, look, i love you, i'm willing to pick up my entire life, everything i've ever known and move across the country to be able to be with you, but i've got to know this is for real, and i'm going to need more than just words.

if he says no can do, then you've just saved several years of your life and a hell of a lot of trouble, but if he says yes, you know you're going to be with him for a long time.

to answer your question:

as for culture shock, i can't imagine new york city being that different from intown atlanta. we aren't country or redneck or anything, we're certainly a bit smaller, a little less than half the size of new york, but we're friendly and pretty diverse.

i know you're talking about "the suburbs", but new york "suburbs" are totally different from atlanta "suburbs". here, you can have a historic home and a half acre of land and still be "in town". the suburbs here are further out, and although they are nice, most of the homes are newer, it's considerably less diverse (i'm talking 99% white) especially if you get further out than alpharetta, and there's not a lot of night life, it's definitely family oriented.

whereas if you're in town, you can still live in a quiet neighbourhood and have a lot to do and see, but the price is going to be higher.

when it comes to safe versus unsafe neighbourhoods, you should generally stay away from anywhere west of downtown and south of downtown. there are exceptions but most of the area there is not great, and some of it is horrific.

after you find a place, you can come back and ask if it's in a good neighbourhood and we can help you out some more as this becomes less of a pipe dream and more of a reality. but you need to address the situation with your boyfriend first and foremost.

[NYCblondexo]

Boyfriends soon to be fiances office will be located in Atlanta in the city. I'm not sure the exact address but it will be located in an area with lots of office buildings and such; inside of the city. Now we don't mind the 30-50 minute drive to work if we can find a nice area to move into. Our main concern is that the area is safe and diverse. It doesn't have to be 99% white, but at least 50-60% percent so we don't feel like a minority.
Which areas would you consider closest to the city that cater to predominately whites, are safe ( Very important- because we don't want an area that is white but is not safe- i'm from NYC those areas exist.) ? An area that also caters to a younger crowd would be nice but definately NOT a requirement.

Thus, all I really want is an area that is safe and we won't feel like a minority just because we are white?

[CSD610]

Originally Posted by NYCblondexo

My boyfriend got a job promotion that he has been working his ass off for, except the the job is in Atlanta. We're very serious & would like to eventually end up together. He asked me to move down there with him, but I am a bit unsure. I have lived on the Upper East Side in NYC for my whole life. Never lived anywhere outside of it. I'm currently a student; and working as a part time bartender in NYC making a pretty good amount of money.

All I know about ATL is what is depicted on TV (the "gangsta rappers" etc.) but my boyfriend has been to ATL numerous times and assures me its beautiful. I trust his word on it. I have a couple of questions...

Would you guys consider the move from NYC to ATL a "culture shock"?
What are some of the "safest" areas to move into? I most likely will get a car; and won't mind the drive from the suburbs to the city. Money isn't my main concern. Its safety and environment. I would like somewhere where its not predominately African Americans; but a similar mixture to the Upper East Side in NYC; which is an even mix of 60% whites, 20% hispanics, and 20% African Americans. I'm trying to stay as close to the Upper East Side as I can while still moving.

Also, regarding jobs, I will be transferring schools there; but I wouldn't want to live solely off my boyfriend & parents; I would want to keep part time bartending. What are some happening areas of clubs/bars that I should try and look for employment? I am a 5'4'' pretty face nice body blonde and that made it easy in NYC to find employment as a bartender. Will this be the case in ATL???

thank you so much for your responses.

xoxo

NYCblonde

I would not move anywhere until I was done with school and if you and your boyfriend are serious the time apart won't be an issue.

Just a bit of a hint though, those physical attributes you mention won't last forever so make sure you have a degree so you have something tangible to fall back on, just in case the whole "anyone will hire a pretty bartender" idea doesn't come through as quickly as you think it should.

[NYCblondexo]

Originally Posted by CSD610

I would not move anywhere until I was done with school and if you and your boyfriend are serious the time apart won't be an issue.

Just a bit of a hint though, those physical attributes you mention won't last forever so make sure you have a degree so you have something tangible to fall back on, just in case the whole "anyone will hire a pretty bartender" idea doesn't come through as quickly as you think it should.

I am working towards a degree..but you can transfer schools anywhere and not lose any credits. I'm working towards a math degree with a finance concentration. Thus, NYC employment is very bad right now especially in the finance field.

[lorilove]

There are 100's of safe options available to you but you get the location wrong and you are not talking about a 30-50 minute commute, you are talking about over an hour on a good day and much worse on a bad day.

To simply say the are intown with lots of tall building is still too vague. Are we talking about Buckhead, Midtown or Downtown - I would go back to him and get a more specific location. You still did not indicate what type of school you are looking at.

Give us more specifics about budget, location and the activities that you enjoy and we can give you LOTS of safe options. The vast majority of areas that anyone is going to recommend will be predominately (over 50%) white unless you specifically request otherwise.

[cittic10]

ROFL.
This has GOT to be a troll.

It's got everything... race, blondes, new yorkers, romance...

Well done.

[redvelvet709]

Originally Posted by Prettygyrl777

For purely legal reasons, I wouldn't make any major lifestyle changes for a boyfriend. Now if the boyfriend were a 'husband', then, yes.

My same advice! Never uproot your life/security without a commitment.

[redvelvet709]

Originally Posted by NYCblondexo

But we are pretty serious; and do have talks of engagement & marriage. It's just at this moment neither is feasible. I want to graduate school first & him get settled in his career more.

No, if he truly wants to be with you, he will move those mountains and ensure it happens. And you will not worry about "the perfect timing."

[DunwoodyPanhandle]

Virginia-Highland, Buckhead, or Midtown.

[ATLTJL]

Had to be a troll, nobody could be this naive.

Except maybe a college aged woman in love.

Listen to the advice here. Do not move. At least not yet.

Make him move first. Keep doing what you are doing. You can come visit him while he is here and if you like what you see, THEN think about moving. It's also good to have a few months apart. If he goes nuts and starts screwing around, whew, you just saved a major headache! If he doesn't you'll know it's for real. Same thing for you....with him down here, you'll see if the heart grows fonder or if you start looking at other dudes.

If you do move down here with him and then hate it, or you end up breaking up, not only will you be stuck in a place you never really wanted to be, you'll harbor terrible resentment against him for doing that to you. If you stay and things end, you can just write him off as a jerk and go about your normal life.

Hard to believe someone pursuing a degree in math wouldn't have figured this out, it's probably a troll post.