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Old 06-28-2012, 06:47 PM
 
1,790 posts, read 2,106,016 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thrudaluknglass View Post
Ive heard women in ATL say there are no "available men" in ATL and often are complacent with "sharing men" I have heard this from several heterosexual women who are professional doctors, lawyers, vets, etc. I have also had an ex boyfriend advise me not to move to ATL with the intent of having a positive dating experience due to a astronomical ration of women to men. My question for women of ATL is to weigh in on these comments and give your personal opinions of dating in Atlanta.

Just from being on the outside looking in it seems the odds (Down-low men, homosexuals, and ratio of women to men) are against us. Thanks.
Single male in 30's, I've never met the docs, lawyers and vets out and about. Always figured they're busy working. Where are they in their spare time?
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Old 06-28-2012, 07:35 PM
 
Location: Atlanta
3,463 posts, read 4,117,786 times
Reputation: 2162
Definitely a true statement.

Sometimes it seems like a lot of regular joe black men who have regular jobs(security guard, electrician, plumber, insurance claims processor) don't seem to raise eye brows for a lot of regular women, especially the professional women, and especially the ones who are black. Too many women overvalue their own stock, and I can't help but wonder: Where does this inflated valuation of self stem from?

Too many women, even the ones who aged well into their mid to late 30s are so obsessed with trying to find some male version of what they see in a romance novel, a rap video, Tyler Perry movies, or sports entertainment that they end up cheating themselves out of years of dating enjoyment and happiness with a likelihood of marriage.

And when they reach their 30s, these women are pretty miserable and suck as far as dating if a man doesn't promise to marry them by day 2. Because quite frankly, no man is going to be rushed into a commitment; he will settle down when he wants, not according to someone else's arbitrary time clock.

And believe me, I've dated some early 30s women who all have this pre-programmed mindset; that I am supposed to commit to them after the first dinner and a movie. I gotta ask myself: Why the heck have so many of these women spent their precious youth, their 20s going after unrealistic caricatures?

At what point does the older generation of women who been through dating hades start advising the younger generation of ladies to ignore pop-culture and actually seek out regular men instead of the fantasy?

Does it really hurt so much to preemptively strike up a conversation with the IT guy in the computer lab? Is it really that painful to proactively smile & say hello to the AT&T Technician who just got finished seeing to it that the phone lines are in good working order downtown?

Quote:
Originally Posted by alinka72 View Post
Dating for young black women sucks. I have seen my share of Black women who are married and sharing. Women who fall for the Southern Belle myth are the ones allowing men to step all over them. Black guys, usually the average loser, lives with Mom, no financial stability, w/ random children, with baggage, always some drama, or a major a-hole and or a combo of all mentioned are a dime a dozen in Atlanta. They are the ones getting plenty of desperate women, the same women who say they do not need men and emasculate men all the time to their friends. The Black women who date outside their race are for the most part attractive (beautiful face, slim and educated). I do not see a lot of Black women with non-Black men. I see more Black men with non-Black women. Black women overall settle for almost anyone who will give them the time of day in Atlanta. I do not care what any 'poll' or 'stat' says. Just come over a live in Atlanta for a few weeks and anyone will see it.

Latinos usually stick with Latinos and Asians with Asians. Not a lot of diversity in dating there. Whites seem to be more stable sticking to their social casts (rednecks with rednecks, middle class with middle class and there you go...).

Funny thing is the stable, decent, eligible men are treated like crap or not pursued at all and same goes for SOME women.

But who knows, there's people swearing here the dating in Atlanta is just fine. I guess they all found their husbands and wives in Atlanta. Do not get me wrong, you can date and have one night stands all day and night there. But a monogamous long term relationship is very hard to find.

Last edited by AcidSnake; 06-28-2012 at 07:53 PM..
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Old 06-28-2012, 11:15 PM
 
178 posts, read 299,664 times
Reputation: 129
Quote:
Originally Posted by glovenyc View Post
I think its an excuse for some woman. I agree some men have issues and agendas. I also agree that Atlanta has an abundance of woman who seem physically attractive, educated and successful. However looking good on paper doesn't make you a good catch. I know plenty of women who move to Atlanta and found no problem dating and/or finding a husband, so to "only some/not all" of these woman complaining maybe it's time for a little self reflection.

I also have women friends from NY, NJ, MD, PA and DC and they too complain about not enough men in there respective areas.

So where are the all men? I know; they are all in jail, all gay, too tall, too short, too corporate, not corporate enough, blue-collar, too aggressive, too passive, too passive agressive, they all lie, cheat, steal, they're all too lazy, not independent, too independent, too ghetto, to bourgeois, blah, blah, blah...yackety yackety schmackety...
lol you made me smile. i grew up watching taz
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Old 06-28-2012, 11:22 PM
 
178 posts, read 299,664 times
Reputation: 129
Quote:
Originally Posted by alinka72 View Post
. Black guys, usually the average loser, lives with Mom, no financial stability, w/ random children, with baggage, always some drama, or a major a-hole and or a combo of all mentioned are a dime a dozen in Atlanta. They are the ones getting plenty of desperate women, the same women who say they do not need men and emasculate men all the time to their friends. I do not see a lot of Black women with non-Black men. I see more Black men with non-Black women. Black women overall settle for almost anyone who will give them the time of day in Atlanta.
this really struck me as interesting. its true, we as black women are often brought up to find that "black prince" so we never much think of dating outside our race, just end up settling for lames because we want to be with someone( or hold on to the concept of black love). Its sad, but its the mentality of a black girl. For black men, its totally different, many don't seem to mind to try something new. And the question that lingers is, "Hmmm, where and when did they miss that same speech we got"? Or perhaps they just dont give a flying f&*(...I'm inclined to think the later sometimes alinka.
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Old 06-28-2012, 11:31 PM
 
178 posts, read 299,664 times
Reputation: 129
Quote:
Originally Posted by AcidSnake View Post
Definitely a true statement.

Sometimes it seems like a lot of regular joe black men who have regular jobs(security guard, electrician, plumber, insurance claims processor) don't seem to raise eye brows for a lot of regular women, especially the professional women, and especially the ones who are black. Too many women overvalue their own stock, and I can't help but wonder: Where does this inflated valuation of self stem from?


Does it really hurt so much to preemptively strike up a conversation with the IT guy in the computer lab? Is it really that painful to proactively smile & say hello to the AT&T Technician who just got finished seeing to it that the phone lines are in good working order downtown?
To answer your 1st question. A lot of "professional women" in general have it ingrained in their mind to "go with someone who is going the same way as you." These are principles layed down early in our foundation as children by parents who have similar goals/backgrounds/ambitions etc. Its not an inflated value of self esteem, its not wanting to have to haul @ss in unevenly yoked relationship.

To answer your 2nd question, we do strike up convos with people like IT, cable guys etc. Its not hard to say hello and smile. But somewhere's in the back of your mind you do wonder, "will i end up taking care of this person in the long run?" " If i lose my job, can he support me and my family?" "How do we split bills fairly if he is making less?" After going to school for so many years earning so many degrees and having your nerves fried on so many levels, there is just some things you aren't going to chance.
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Old 06-29-2012, 12:34 AM
 
1,250 posts, read 1,488,706 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thrudaluknglass View Post
To answer your 1st question. A lot of "professional women" in general have it ingrained in their mind to "go with someone who is going the same way as you." These are principles layed down early in our foundation as children by parents who have similar goals/backgrounds/ambitions etc. Its not an inflated value of self esteem, its not wanting to have to haul @ss in unevenly yoked relationship.

To answer your 2nd question, we do strike up convos with people like IT, cable guys etc. Its not hard to say hello and smile. But somewhere's in the back of your mind you do wonder, "will i end up taking care of this person in the long run?" " If i lose my job, can he support me and my family?" "How do we split bills fairly if he is making less?" After going to school for so many years earning so many degrees and having your nerves fried on so many levels, there is just some things you aren't going to chance.
Lol, at thinking guys in IT don't have money or degrees;I mean sure if you just work in a call center but that is just one very small niche when you got guys make 6 figures in some skills (many of them on this board and asking about relocation).
Plumbers and Electricians make more money then a lot of degrees even if they have a stigma because they are "dirty" or don't involve a suit and office. I'd be willing to say it's very likely that if you aren't a MD or a Lawyer the Plumbers, Electricians, Truck driver and especially the IT people make just as much or more money then a black woman turning their nose up because she got a overpriced degree and works in an office. Look at the pay scales. Uppity black women are silly sometimes. Those women get what they deserve.

Last edited by Onthemove2014; 06-29-2012 at 12:50 AM..
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Old 07-15-2012, 06:52 PM
 
486 posts, read 864,611 times
Reputation: 198
Quote:
Originally Posted by cityfilms View Post
Most southern woman are pressured to marry by 28. They are only active in the bar scene for 2-3 years. Any woman having problems is probably too old, since the straight men who are unmarried by 30 typically have issues and are undesirable.

I actually would agree with this statement. I am newly divorced and I see no chance of getting remarried in ATL. Heck, dating for that matter. First off, I live in the suburbs, there are no single men in my area. Second, the men that I have met over 30 are single by choice, nothing serious is on the horizon for them. I think because there are so many women to men, they get sex very easy and that's all they want. I'm not interested in freely giving out my cookies, so no chance of that. I was speaking with my cousin, she has been here 17 years. All of her relationships have been long distance relationships. ATL is not the place for a single woman....
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Old 07-15-2012, 06:56 PM
 
Location: ATL
4,688 posts, read 6,409,749 times
Reputation: 1804
Atlanta ratio is even

Georgia QuickFacts from the US Census Bureau

Atlanta is 51% women and it balances out. If you take away the gay men and the broke men + lesbians, crazy women, strippers or women with to many miles on them it evens out.

You might not believe this but there are plenty of men in Atlanta looking for the "right one" and they would marry her if they could. Thing is, all of the "good" women have been wifed up. If you are a GOOD woman and are bringing stuff to the table you would not have any problems here

Last edited by tonygeorgia; 07-15-2012 at 07:14 PM..
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Old 07-15-2012, 07:01 PM
 
486 posts, read 864,611 times
Reputation: 198
Quote:
Originally Posted by tonygeorgia View Post
Atlanta ratio is even

Georgia QuickFacts from the US Census Bureau

Atlanta is 51% women and it balances out. If you take away the gay men and the broke men + lesbians, crazy women, strippers or women with to many miles on them it evens out.

You might not believe this but there are plenty of men in Atlanta looking for the "right one" and they would marry her if they could.

Where are they????? lol Seriously???
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Old 07-15-2012, 07:20 PM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
3,620 posts, read 3,891,082 times
Reputation: 4182
Quote:
Originally Posted by thrudaluknglass View Post
Ive heard women in ATL say there are no "available men" in ATL and often are complacent with "sharing men" I have heard this from several heterosexual women who are professional doctors, lawyers, vets, etc. I have also had an ex boyfriend advise me not to move to ATL with the intent of having a positive dating experience due to a astronomical ration of women to men. My question for women of ATL is to weigh in on these comments and give your personal opinions of dating in Atlanta.

Just from being on the outside looking in it seems the odds (Down-low men, homosexuals, and ratio of women to men) are against us. Thanks.
Not true at all. There are plenty of us, but we're mostly ignored by women. Its as if women only want to hang out with their girlfriends and then b*tch that there are no men around. Yes, there's a large homosexual population here, but I rarely meet gay men, as I don't live in Midtown, where the majority are. The problem I think is that the women here are caught up on money and status. If as a man you don't have that (regardless of potential earnings or whatever), you can forget dating in this town. It is horrible. The only women interested in me are divorced mid-late forties women with 3 kids. No, no, and no! I may be 43, but I keep my self in the shape of a 30 year old and look a lot younger. I want a family. I want what women 30-35 and single SAY they want, but they don't really. They just want a rich man who looks like Matthew McConaughey. Sorry, I'm in good shape, but not on People's most eligible bachelor list and certainly not rich. So the long answer to your question is there are plenty of normal, good men in this city, but the women don't want them.

Last edited by Atlguy39; 07-15-2012 at 08:12 PM..
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