Kids and Yes/No Ma'am and Yes/No Sir (town, people)

[Jakiyah1998]

Originally Posted by jeoff

I think children should use some term of respect when talking to adults.
I grew up in Atlanta, and did not learn to say Sir and Ma'm, but I also would never call an adult by their first name. Adults were "Mr.", "Mrs.", Miss. (last-name) Adults that were good friends of my parents were "Aunt" and "Uncle" (first-name). I have parents occasionally intorduce me to their kids by my first name, and it seems a little inappropriate. My boys say sir and Ma'm, but I didn't teach it to them. They have spent most of their life in Athens, Ga..

I'm from New York and this is exactly how I was raised. My parents were always praised in reference to my manners. I have family in South Carolina that tried to force this practice on my children a few years back...I was totally opposed to it because I have never required it. My children are not ill mannered by any means because they don't say sir/ma'am. Like some of the other posters overuse of it bothers me...it feels a tad superficial to me.

[ericsonga]

Originally Posted by LovinDecatur

Sounds like my household. My mother was a tyrant at the dinner table. Her biggest bugaboo was not sitting straight-backed in your chair. I remember that she had misgivings about my sister's engagement because she did not approve of her fiance's table manners. She felt it would have negative consequences to their social life and his career.

I can completely commiserate. I was often threatened with being tied to the back of my dinner chair. Manners really are a means of respect and to put people at ease in situations. My dear partner has very fine manners. However, he sometimes misses the subtle nuances of social graces. While coming from a fine and proper Southern family, his is of the sort where you can't expect to inherit the family silver. I'm quite thankful that I was taught (beaten) such great assets in life.

[arjay57]

Originally Posted by Ant131531

How I address each of the people you mentioned:

Officer: Yes, Officer
Judge: Yes, your honor
boss: Yes Mr/Mrs.Name
teacher: Yes, Mr/Mrs.Name

The only time you MUST use sir or ma'am is probably the military.

The use of sir and ma'am is not a must, but a courtesy. It's a simple way to convey dignity and respect to another person.

[Ant131531]

Well that's what you southerners think. The rest of the country does not follow suit.

[AtlJan]

In reference to the OP's question as to whether a child would appear rude if he were to answer with a simple yes/no.

In my opinion, it depends on the question asked of him. If the question is: "Are you from Texas?" Then a simple "No" in context will suffice. If the question is: "Would you like to try my world-famous broccoli casserole?" Then a "No, thank you" is the bare minimum courtesy. But, of course, it would be more polite for him to respond: "Yes, please!" and to follow that by eating some of the stuff and beginning a nice conversation about the recipe.

As long as the child has an understanding of the Golden Rule (treat others as you would like to be treated), he should do just fine.

[LovelySummer]

Very good. That's what I needed to know. Thanks AtlJan.
And thanks to everyone for providing insight into this very real issue for my household right now.

Anyway, thanks

Originally Posted by AtlJan

In reference to the OP's question as to whether a child would appear rude if he were to answer with a simple yes/no.

In my opinion, it depends on the question asked of him. If the question is: "Are you from Texas?" Then a simple "No" in context will suffice. If the question is: "Would you like to try my world-famous broccoli casserole?" Then a "No, thank you" is the bare minimum courtesy. But, of course, it would be more polite for him to respond: "Yes, please!" and to follow that by eating some of the stuff and beginning a nice conversation about the recipe.

As long as the child has an understanding of the Golden Rule (treat others as you would like to be treated), he should do just fine.

[arjay57]

Originally Posted by AtlJan

In reference to the OP's question as to whether a child would appear rude if he were to answer with a simple yes/no.

In my opinion, it depends on the question asked of him. If the question is: "Are you from Texas?" Then a simple "No" in context will suffice. If the question is: "Would you like to try my world-famous broccoli casserole?" Then a "No, thank you" is the bare minimum courtesy. But, of course, it would be more polite for him to respond: "Yes, please!" and to follow that by eating some of the stuff and beginning a nice conversation about the recipe.

As long as the child has an understanding of the Golden Rule (treat others as you would like to be treated), he should do just fine.

Well said, AtlJan.

I certainly don't knock anyone for not using sir or ma'am, although I probably do subconsciously give them a few extra points for courtesy when they do.

And while this may be more common in the south it's by no means a strictly regional practice. You will find similar usages in other languages and countries as well.

[Iconographer]

Originally Posted by Ant131531

Well that's what you southerners think. The rest of the country does not follow suit.

Well, we've always done things our way. And we could give a fig if anyone else follows suit.

[midtown mile girl]

Originally Posted by AtlJan

I personally love "yes, ma'am/sir." We teach our children to either say "Yes please" and "No thank you" or "Yes/No, sir/ma'am". We find that if they just say "yes" or "no", it doesn't sound as respectful and quickly slips into "yeah", "naw". . .etc. To me, manners are the first way we teach children to put other people before themselves--carrying their plates to the kitchen, saying thank you.

Regionally, I notice a big difference in speech patterns in terms of what is a bad word and what isn't. I am not comfortable with words like cr*p, fr**king or fr*gging, "what the", and religious epithets of any kind. In New York and New Jersey, it seems even educated people use these words in common parlance. I suppose, it's acceptable there, but this Southerner is shocked every time!

I agree. What really bothers me is when people pepper everyday conversation with curse words. I really believe that you should only use a curse word only as an expression of extreme frustration. (like when blood, fire, or extreme pain are involved).

[deacongirl]

I have not read any responses. I am from NJ. I would strongly encourage you to teach yes ma'am. When in Rome etc.