Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Georgia > Atlanta
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
 
Old 07-25-2013, 10:40 AM
 
1,858 posts, read 3,539,179 times
Reputation: 1178

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Julia_Summers View Post
I strongly dislike it when people speak about black women as if we are a monolithic group. It may not be easy for some black women to attract suitable mates, but that's not the case for all of us.

In my experience, far too many black women waste time associating with the lowest quality mates, just to have a person around. In many cases, it's directly due to low self esteem and low self worth. Also, I find that some women set themselves up to fail by being overweight, having children outside of marriage and/or having a really bad attitude. In addition, some frequent the wrong locations and then complain about the selection. If you are a highly paid professional woman, your best bet is to join professional associations with like minded individuals. Another good idea is to find a professional match maker or join a well regarded online dating site, that requires "paid" memberships and some level of screening, so that you can set filters and only receive matches that meet or exceed your expectations.

I would never advise a woman in search of a committed relationship to frequent clubs or lounges, because they will be exposed to everything and anyone. This is not to say that people haven't met great mates in those venues, but it's just not usually the norm.

After living in Atlanta for a period of time, I knew that it wasn't for me, because I happen to prefer multi racial environments with a variety of different types of people and my dating preference has always been international men.

I currently live in CA and I'm in the midst of preparing for my wedding. My fiance' was raised in Victoria, British Columbia and he's quite the catch. If you want to be successful in the dating game, please stop viewing yourself as a low commodity, because this will surely set you up for failure. You can't change your race, or height, but you can dramatically improve your look by maintaining a healthy diet and overall attitude.

Lastly I will say, please don't be afraid to move, if your current environment doesn't suit you well.
great post

 
Old 07-25-2013, 11:21 AM
 
Location: Sweet Home...CHICAGO
3,421 posts, read 5,194,948 times
Reputation: 4355
Quote:
Originally Posted by Julia_Summers View Post
I strongly dislike it when people speak about black women as if we are a monolithic group. It may not be easy for some black women to attract suitable mates, but that's not the case for all of us.

In my experience, far too many black women waste time associating with the lowest quality mates, just to have a person around. In many cases, it's directly due to low self esteem and low self worth. Also, I find that some women set themselves up to fail by being overweight, having children outside of marriage and/or having a really bad attitude. In addition, some frequent the wrong locations and then complain about the selection. If you are a highly paid professional woman, your best bet is to join professional associations with like minded individuals. Another good idea is to find a professional match maker or join a well regarded online dating site, that requires "paid" memberships and some level of screening, so that you can set filters and only receive matches that meet or exceed your expectations.

I would never advise a woman in search of a committed relationship to frequent clubs or lounges, because they will be exposed to everything and anyone. This is not to say that people haven't met great mates in those venues, but it's just not usually the norm.

After living in Atlanta for a period of time, I knew that it wasn't for me, because I happen to prefer multi racial environments with a variety of different types of people and my dating preference has always been international men.

I currently live in CA and I'm in the midst of preparing for my wedding. My fiance' was raised in Victoria, British Columbia and he's quite the catch. If you want to be successful in the dating game, please stop viewing yourself as a low commodity, because this will surely set you up for failure. You can't change your race, or height, but you can dramatically improve your look by maintaining a healthy diet and overall attitude.

Lastly I will say, please don't be afraid to move, if your current environment doesn't suit you well.
Every woman who is single isn't so because she's doing it all wrong, just as a woman who does get married isn't perfect and the best catch across the board. It's all about meeting the right man at the right time who is ready to settle down AND feels chemistry with the woman he's with at that time, doesn't matter her state or condition. There are plenty of fat, ugly, or women with bad attitudes who are married and have husbands who adore them.

And some women think that because they found a man that it should be just as easy for other women when that's not the case. It all boils down to timing and meeting a man at the right time.
 
Old 07-25-2013, 11:33 AM
 
421 posts, read 747,080 times
Reputation: 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by Julia_Summers View Post
I strongly dislike it when people speak about black women as if we are a monolithic group. It may not be easy for some black women to attract suitable mates, but that's not the case for all of us.

In my experience, far too many black women waste time associating with the lowest quality mates, just to have a person around. In many cases, it's directly due to low self esteem and low self worth. Also, I find that some women set themselves up to fail by being overweight, having children outside of marriage and/or having a really bad attitude. In addition, some frequent the wrong locations and then complain about the selection. If you are a highly paid professional woman, your best bet is to join professional associations with like minded individuals. Another good idea is to find a professional match maker or join a well regarded online dating site, that requires "paid" memberships and some level of screening, so that you can set filters and only receive matches that meet or exceed your expectations.

I would never advise a woman in search of a committed relationship to frequent clubs or lounges, because they will be exposed to everything and anyone. This is not to say that people haven't met great mates in those venues, but it's just not usually the norm.

After living in Atlanta for a period of time, I knew that it wasn't for me, because I happen to prefer multi racial environments with a variety of different types of people and my dating preference has always been international men.

I currently live in CA and I'm in the midst of preparing for my wedding. My fiance' was raised in Victoria, British Columbia and he's quite the catch. If you want to be successful in the dating game, please stop viewing yourself as a low commodity, because this will surely set you up for failure. You can't change your race, or height, but you can dramatically improve your look by maintaining a healthy diet and overall attitude.

Lastly I will say, please don't be afraid to move, if your current environment doesn't suit you well.
This was good post until you got the part about needed a multicultural environment. With soapy transplants and international people here I can't understand why one cantbfindvthat niche.
 
Old 07-25-2013, 03:31 PM
 
2 posts, read 13,767 times
Reputation: 20
Atlanta_BD: "Every woman who is single isn't so because she's doing it all wrong, just as a woman who does get married isn't perfect and the best catch across the board. It's all about meeting the right man at the right time who is ready to settle down AND feels chemistry with the woman he's with at that time, doesn't matter her state or condition. There are plenty of fat, ugly, or women with bad attitudes who are married and have husbands who adore them."
-------------------
Me:

I agree, but if you have a specific type in mine (ex. a family oriented, marriage minded, single, attractive, professional, committed guy), yet you keep running into men in Atlanta who are uninterested in a serious relationship and marriage, then something is wrong.

If you believe that you're doing everything right and that you are a quality match, it may very well be the environment that needs to change so that you can come in contact with more like minded men who are interested in establishing a serious relationship.

Don't beat yourself up about it, just put your plan in action and set that moving date so that you can be in an environment that is more in keeping with what you are seeking.

------------
Atlanta BD: "And some women think that because they found a man that it should be just as easy for other women when that's not the case. It all boils down to timing and meeting a man at the right time."
------------

Me:

Seriously, it really is that easy. You just have to regain your confidence, relocate to a place that is more densely populated and filled with different types of guys, and start dating again. When you encounter guys who are not interested in establishing anything long-term, quickly move on, until you meet Mr. Right for you.

Good luck!
 
Old 07-25-2013, 03:40 PM
 
421 posts, read 747,080 times
Reputation: 166
Quote:
Originally Posted by Julia_Summers View Post
Atlanta_BD: "Every woman who is single isn't so because she's doing it all wrong, just as a woman who does get married isn't perfect and the best catch across the board. It's all about meeting the right man at the right time who is ready to settle down AND feels chemistry with the woman he's with at that time, doesn't matter her state or condition. There are plenty of fat, ugly, or women with bad attitudes who are married and have husbands who adore them."
-------------------
Me:

I agree, but if you have a specific type in mine (ex. a family oriented, marriage minded, single, attractive, professional, committed guy), yet you keep running into men in Atlanta who are uninterested in a serious relationship and marriage, then something is wrong.

If you believe that you're doing everything right and that you are a quality match, it may very well be the environment that needs to change so that you can come in contact with more like minded men who are interested in establishing a serious relationship.

Don't beat yourself up about it, just put your plan in action and set that moving date so that you can be in an environment that is more in keeping with what you are seeking.

------------
Atlanta BD: "And some women think that because they found a man that it should be just as easy for other women when that's not the case. It all boils down to timing and meeting a man at the right time."
------------

Me:

Seriously, it really is that easy. You just have to regain your confidence, relocate to a place that is more densely populated and filled with different types of guys, and start dating again. When you encounter guys who are not interested in establishing anything long-term, quickly move on, until you meet Mr. Right for you.

Good luck!

Just make sure the "denser" places aren't DC and NYC. Heard bad things about dating in those cities also for long term/marriage on this site.
 
Old 07-26-2013, 02:29 PM
 
Location: Alaska
5,193 posts, read 5,731,828 times
Reputation: 7676
Quote:
Originally Posted by Freeminds View Post
My girlfriend's dad (black and attractive) who is a widower and in his 50s actually wants a woman with kids because he wants to raise another family. He can't find anything but crazy women with all kinds of odd issues or attitudes or some sort of drama.

He is retired military, ex Sargent and has a nice big house in Gwinett. Why can't he find all these awesome emotionally stable women in Atlanta?
Tell him to send me a plane ticket or better yet come and visit!
 
Old 07-26-2013, 04:16 PM
 
Location: Sweet Home...CHICAGO
3,421 posts, read 5,194,948 times
Reputation: 4355
@Julia_Summers, I've dated nothing but educated, professional men. But they weren't interested in commitment. I've yet to meet a man here who is. I don't date anymore.

Thanks for the words of encouragement and advice. If things go as planned, I will be out of here before the end of the year.
 
Old 07-31-2013, 03:30 PM
 
Location: Somewhere
4,191 posts, read 4,701,138 times
Reputation: 3174
Quote:
Originally Posted by grindin View Post
Trust and believe, that scene isn't all what it's cracked up to be either. Too many men here have too many options, and there are a lot of flaky, shady bums looking for someone to take care of them. The people I know in the most stable [gay] relationships either moved here from someone else as a couple, or they found their partner in another city and moved there. While anecdotal, my observations aren't out of the ordinary.

As for women finding a good black man here, the further OTP you are, the more likely you are to find a decent, stable man who wants to settle down. That's a generalization because you can find a trifling man in Snellville just as easily as you can find one in the club/bar scene in the city.
Thanks for the input....maybe the grass isn't always greener on the other side

Seems to be a common 'issue' there across the board.....
 
Old 07-31-2013, 03:31 PM
 
Location: Somewhere
4,191 posts, read 4,701,138 times
Reputation: 3174
Quote:
Originally Posted by Freeminds View Post
What is "shytown"?

Where I live
 
Old 10-24-2013, 03:05 PM
 
2 posts, read 4,217 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by fosho91 View Post
The 20:1 ration is a myth that has been applied to the city. It started in the mid 80's through the early 90's and was in reference to the Female-to-Male ratio of the HBCU's in Atlanta.

The problem with the question you ask is how you may define professional or educated because both are used very loosely. The city and surrounding areas are full of black males and females that have college degrees and post graduate degrees working in a broad range of fields that earn $40K-$70K a year. Is this considered professional? Depends on who you ask. Of course the higher up the socio-economic ladder you go the smaller the crowd so the whole question of single black professionals in Atlanta is somewhat of an enigma depending on who's asking and who's answering. If you are a in a high-end position and earn $250K a year then the pool of similar positioned counterparts will be smaller relative to someone who makes less; but the raw number of single black men at that level will be greater than most other cities in the U.S.

Here's a link detailing some black demographic information for Atlanta.... but as a black male I can assure you that the 20:1 ratio is a myth [url=http://blackdemographics.com/cities-2/atlanta/]BlackDemographics.com | Atlanta[/url]
Very well said!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 

Settings
X
Data:
Loading data...
Based on 2000-2020 data
Loading data...

123
Hide US histogram

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Georgia > Atlanta

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top