Racial relations in Atlanta (Washington, Buckhead: showing, income, work)

[pirate_lafitte]

Originally Posted by atlantagreg30127

Oh well you'll love this one, then. Up the road from me is a family that adopted a black child. One of their neighbors quite very literally looked at them and said the following: "Now, why did you go and do that when there are all those poor Asian kids on tv that need a home? This kid's parents could have been crackheads and you know that's hereditary, right??".

Yes, really.

I'm not surprised to here some people think like that. Being a crackhead isn't hereditary. Being a crackhead is a matter of the environment you live in. If you live in a place where the parents are doing crack in front of you and your parents did crack while you were in the room, you will crave crack not because of heredity, but because it was introduced to you before you were born.
As for a family thinking that way, I was talking to a girl in my class in high school and I mentioned that I read the book "To Kill a Mockingbird". I mentioned that I felt sorry for the judge because he was hated on for having mixed children. The girl, for whom I thought was my friend, stated that interracial marriages were wrong and that it wasn't racist. That is very racist indeed and she even said the Bible says so. I have never seen it in the Bible where it says that a black man marrying a white woman was wrong. In fact, the closest I saw to that had nothing to do with race, but rather war and religion, stating the Israelites were not to intermarry with the Caananites because they didn't worship God. I have talk to many theologians and ministers and I have been told that interracial marriages are NOT wrong. The fact is alot of people everywhere, but I find it more prevelent in the South, look down on white women and black men in relationships together and it goes back to the days of slavery, not the Bible. Off of my soap box.

The fact is that Atlanta has changed but it has changed in ways where everything can be deceptive. If you go to some of the exurbs, attitudes have not changed, but being deceptive is the way to go. There is an implicit "we can be neighbors but if you better not date my daughter" mentality. I have heard it discussed in school. I know a girl who dated a black guy and admitted that her parents didn't want her to date black men. In fact, some girls in my old high school said that their parents would be pissed to the point of disinheritance if they ever dated a black man. The fact is I could have met the mother and father and they could have been as nice as they could be in front of me, but if I ever considered dating their daughter, they would be upset. Old attitudes have not died, they are not expresed until the time comes. That is Atlanta race relations for you.

[Angelheart1023]

I have lived in Florida most of my life, but also lived in Charleston, SC, Agusta, GA, El Paso, TX and Youngstown, OH. I've had neighbors and what I consider to be real friends of many different races and religions. I've lived making good money and I've been food stamp on welfare poor. I have been treated good and bad by people of most races.

Probably no different than most peoples lives. BUT....This thread is really scaring me from living in the Atlanta. I don't think I can handle it, I don't believe I can stomach living in a place where I can't figure who is a friend and who is pretending. A place where there doesn't seem to have a peaceful tone or you live in fear of when the next idiot makes a mistake you pay a price due to the color of your skin.

White or Black its not right. I think I have figured out my own heart, I'm not racist. I just don't like trash...it belongs in landfills not in your heart.

Thanks to everyone for being so open and honest. I wish everyone would be so open, maybe racial tensions wouldn't exists if everyone just realized your skin color doesn't matter, when cut we all bleed red.

[pirate_lafitte]

Originally Posted by Angelheart1023

I have lived in Florida most of my life, but also lived in Charleston, SC, Agusta, GA, El Paso, TX and Youngstown, OH. I've had neighbors and what I consider to be real friends of many different races and religions. I've lived making good money and I've been food stamp on welfare poor. I have been treated good and bad by people of most races.

Probably no different than most peoples lives. BUT....This thread is really scaring me from living in the Atlanta. I don't think I can handle it, I don't believe I can stomach living in a place where I can't figure who is a friend and who is pretending. A place where there doesn't seem to have a peaceful tone or you live in fear of when the next idiot makes a mistake you pay a price due to the color of your skin.

White or Black its not right. I think I have figured out my own heart, I'm not racist. I just don't like trash...it belongs in landfills not in your heart.

Thanks to everyone for being so open and honest. I wish everyone would be so open, maybe racial tensions wouldn't exists if everyone just realized your skin color doesn't matter, when cut we all bleed red.

I know how you feel. I thought about moving to Milwaukee a while a ago but I heard about racial tensions there and it kind of turned me off. Milwaukee and Atlanta both have problems. The difference is that Milwaukee is poorer, and more raw-looking. Atlanta is booming and more high and mighty about itsel, so Atlanta will brag. That is the problem with Atlanta. No one wants to talk about it or get things solved. Alot of fake happens here. Who knows. You might find a niche in Atlanta. I for myself just don't like it because it is a big dissapointment for me. It might exceed your expectations. If you are moving anywhere for better race relations, don't be surprised if you are dissapointed. I am just speaking from my own experience. I think Atlanta just fakes everything because it can.
I do agree that part of the problem is that we need to see ourselves as human whether we are black or white. We are all human.
As for who is friend and who is pretending, you just have to be on your guard.

[atlantagreg30127]

Originally Posted by Angelheart1023

This thread is really scaring me from living in the Atlanta. I don't think I can handle it, I don't believe I can stomach living in a place where I can't figure who is a friend and who is pretending. .

Some will disagree with me, but I know others will agree...

After I had lived here a few years, I was once sitting in the lunch room where I was working at the time with a number of coworkers. Many of them were natives to the South. We were making cultural observations and one of the gals who was from Louisianna said that, "Southern Hospitality was nothing more than being taught from a young age to smile at someone and act friendly when they were in front of you. Even if you hated their guts. Then, AFTER they left the room, you can cut loose about them with whoever's left". Everyone laughed and the other native Southerners at the table all were shaking their heads in agreement going, "Yep - LOL".

Over time I brought that up to other natives here and the majority agreed with me. People here are no more friendly or tolerant than any other place - they just hide their dislike for you when you're near them, and speak poorly about you after you've left the room. They consider this more "polite" than not being friendly when you're in the room with them. If you're not a particularly observant person then, you'd THINK that everyone here is smiling and patting your back because they're just so down-home friendly. But no, that's a stereotype. Not saying there aren't friendly people here at all... just saying that it's a myth that they're MORE friendly and accepting here compared to other places - they just hide the bad stuff better when in the company of others.

I grew up on Appalachia. If someone doesn't like you, you know it there. No hiding. No fake smiles and "How ya doin' buddy" stuff. If they don't like being around you, you know it. So coming down here took some major adjusting, but I'm pretty good at reading people face-to-face too, so I can pretty much figure where they're coming from on the inside better than some others. Plus if you're actually IN Atlanta you'll be surrounded more by transplants than natives anyway, unless you go to the burbs.

It's nothing to be afraid of - but yes, if you're not used to the "hospitality" here, it's an adjustment.

Regarding the dating other races thing - yes, I've seen people here quite literally threaten their daughters if they ever were to date a black guy. Likewise though, I've actually seen black girls catch absolute hell from their parents and black male friends if they date a white guy, too. There was even a case north of Atlanta a couple of years back where a Baptist preacher refused to let a couple bury their deceased child in the church cemetary because the woman as white and the husband black - until the media caught on to it, then he said he was "misquoted". Again - verrrry different.

[gt6974a]

Can't we all agree that 'White' people, originally from the South, are racist (this includes me) and just make it a sticky (like the school thread) so everyone knows. Blacks are innocent of everything and anything and it's the White man fault. Lets just call it like everyone sees it........otherwise you wouldn't be asking this damn question in the first place.

[johndoeboy]

Originally Posted by Angelheart1023

. I think it has just been a comfort zone. I don't dislike anyone due to race, but I must admit I am very uneasy and even fear violence when I am faced with a group of black teenagers. However, I have the same feeling faced with a group of white teenagers too. To me it is how they dress and carry themselves. If they are dressed with the baggy pants and "wife beaters" my anxiety raises, but not as much if their not loitering or dressed neatly.

I am asking myself if that is racist. Is it? I mean no disrespect to anyone, I am just trying to evaluate my own innerself. Any thoughts...

Racism had to start with the black male, you had to make the black male look bad, or have ppl become fearful in order for in to work. I think alot of ppl are jealous of the black male, because their are alot of rich & famous ones on tv. Michael jordan, lebron james, bill cosby, denzel, and more who influence whites. Ppl dont like that younger whites are loving these rappers, or black athletes. You notice alot black males are the most popular when it comes to the music and sports industry. Also alot of ppl dont like the black male because of some white women wanting to be with them mostly the younger generation of white women.
I do understand where you are coming from because the media has stolen the black male idenitity. You never see a black male on tv especially a younger one unless he's a rapper who got caught with drugs or a gun. You never see a happy black family, or a black man going to work. They never show a black male taking care of his kids, or going to college. The only time is when its something negative. I do sag my pants sometimes, its just naturally thats all. But you must know i never sold drugs , or wanted to be a gangsta or anything. So just because somebody is dress that way means nothing nowadays. Alot of young ppl dress like that so obviously if young black male commits a crime he might have that dress style. But if you go to college campuses you will see some ppl in all races sagging their pants. So if they made it to college that means there is alot of young ppl who dress this way and are doing something positive with their lives. Again i understand because of the media, perception is reality. Especially when whites dont have any black friends, especially young black males. When i was a teenager alot of my friends did sag, alot didnt sag. But so of the ones who did sag their pants now are businessman.

[Galounger]

Originally Posted by atlantagreg30127

Some will disagree with me, but I know others will agree...

After I had lived here a few years, I was once sitting in the lunch room where I was working at the time with a number of coworkers. Many of them were natives to the South. We were making cultural observations and one of the gals who was from Louisianna said that, "Southern Hospitality was nothing more than being taught from a young age to smile at someone and act friendly when they were in front of you. Even if you hated their guts. Then, AFTER they left the room, you can cut loose about them with whoever's left". Everyone laughed and the other native Southerners at the table all were shaking their heads in agreement going, "Yep - LOL".

Over time I brought that up to other natives here and the majority agreed with me. People here are no more friendly or tolerant than any other place - they just hide their dislike for you when you're near them, and speak poorly about you after you've left the room. They consider this more "polite" than not being friendly when you're in the room with them. If you're not a particularly observant person then, you'd THINK that everyone here is smiling and patting your back because they're just so down-home friendly. But no, that's a stereotype. Not saying there aren't friendly people here at all... just saying that it's a myth that they're MORE friendly and accepting here compared to other places - they just hide the bad stuff better when in the company of others.

I grew up on Appalachia. If someone doesn't like you, you know it there. No hiding. No fake smiles and "How ya doin' buddy" stuff. If they don't like being around you, you know it. So coming down here took some major adjusting, but I'm pretty good at reading people face-to-face too, so I can pretty much figure where they're coming from on the inside better than some others. Plus if you're actually IN Atlanta you'll be surrounded more by transplants than natives anyway, unless you go to the burbs.

It's nothing to be afraid of - but yes, if you're not used to the "hospitality" here, it's an adjustment.

I grew up in the South and lived several years in the North and my experience is in the South you are more likely to find strangers that will strike up a conversation, joke laugh, share, or easily become friends with you than in the North. This type of geninuine behavior is what I interpret as southern hospitality.

[Angelheart1023]

Originally Posted by johndoeboy

Racism had to start with the black male, you had to make the black male look bad, or have ppl become fearful in order for in to work. I think alot of ppl are jealous of the black male, because their are alot of rich & famous ones on tv. Michael jordan, lebron james, bill cosby, denzel, and more who influence whites. Ppl dont like that younger whites are loving these rappers, or black athletes. You notice alot black males are the most popular when it comes to the music and sports industry. Also alot of ppl dont like the black male because of some white women wanting to be with them mostly the younger generation of white women.
I do understand where you are coming from because the media has stolen the black male idenitity. You never see a black male on tv especially a younger one unless he's a rapper who got caught with drugs or a gun. You never see a happy black family, or a black man going to work. They never show a black male taking care of his kids, or going to college. The only time is when its something negative. I do sag my pants sometimes, its just naturally thats all. But you must know i never sold drugs , or wanted to be a gangsta or anything. So just because somebody is dress that way means nothing nowadays. Alot of young ppl dress like that so obviously if young black male commits a crime he might have that dress style. But if you go to college campuses you will see some ppl in all races sagging their pants. So if they made it to college that means there is alot of young ppl who dress this way and are doing something positive with their lives. Again i understand because of the media, perception is reality. Especially when whites dont have any black friends, especially young black males. When i was a teenager alot of my friends did sag, alot didnt sag. But so of the ones who did sag their pants now are businessman.

Sir, I have no idea where you are coming from. I am sincerely trying to not take offense to your comments that I had to start with a black man.(?)

I have 2 grown sons who wear saggy pants, don't sell drugs either. Please note I never said I was a "white" woman. I am a southern lady of Italain decent who has many times been mistaken or spanish or latin. Do I take offense to it, sometimes. But it is a "Florida thing", you can be treated rudly if you are spoken to in spanish here and you tell them you do not understand. I do however have a nephew who is married to a beautiful young lady from Niguragua and I do try to understand what I can to better communicate with her. She also tries to learn english to communicate with me a little easier. Its about loving one another enough to learn.

I am not taking offense to your comments, I just don't understand them. If you are calling me racist? (which, I don't know) Then that would be offensive. I don't want to hash sterotypes, I want to get along with people in general.

One point you make about jealously? You named Bill Cosby, a man I respect well, he himself has a problem with the rappers and such. I don't believe he is a jealous man, but I think a very smart one.

I would openly welcome any discussion on issues to help all races better understand one another. Like I previously stated I don't believe the color of ones skin determines the color of their blood when cut. Thats about as basic as it gets.

As for the "Southern Hospitality" I always thought it wasn't nice to talk about people behind their backs or if you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything. My idea of "Southern Hospitality" was being polite to strangers, helping your neighbors and sharing some good home cooking.

Blessings to ALL

[backfist]

Originally Posted by Angelheart1023

Sir, I have no idea where you are coming from. I am sincerely trying to not take offense to your comments that I had to start with a black man.(?)

I have 2 grown sons who wear saggy pants, don't sell drugs either. Please note I never said I was a "white" woman. I am a southern lady of Italain decent who has many times been mistaken or spanish or latin. Do I take offense to it, sometimes. But it is a "Florida thing", you can be treated rudly if you are spoken to in spanish here and you tell them you do not understand. I do however have a nephew who is married to a beautiful young lady from Niguragua and I do try to understand what I can to better communicate with her. She also tries to learn english to communicate with me a little easier. Its about loving one another enough to learn.

I am not taking offense to your comments, I just don't understand them. If you are calling me racist? (which, I don't know) Then that would be offensive. I don't want to hash sterotypes, I want to get along with people in general.

One point you make about jealously? You named Bill Cosby, a man I respect well, he himself has a problem with the rappers and such. I don't believe he is a jealous man, but I think a very smart one.

I would openly welcome any discussion on issues to help all races better understand one another. Like I previously stated I don't believe the color of ones skin determines the color of their blood when cut. Thats about as basic as it gets.

As for the "Southern Hospitality" I always thought it wasn't nice to talk about people behind their backs or if you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything. My idea of "Southern Hospitality" was being polite to strangers, helping your neighbors and sharing some good home cooking.

Blessings to ALL

Angelheart,

I think what johndoeboy is trying to say is that negative portrayals and depictions within media, can shape the way we see people (especially when we don't personally know others, except through the media). And when some are portrayed positively, it doesn't always sell well.

[johndoeboy]

Originally Posted by Angelheart1023

One point you make about jealously? You named Bill Cosby, a man I respect well, he himself has a problem with the rappers and such. I don't believe he is a jealous man, but I think a very smart one.



Blessings to ALL

No i meant jealousy because when it comes to the music and sports industry usually its black males who are the most popular. Nothing about bill cosby not agreeing with some rappers. I no bill cosby is not jealous, of nobody. I was just saying in popular culture black men tend to be portray as cool or hip compared to the white dude. And alot of ppl dont like that, the want the black dude to be portrayed as bad nothing good.

(sports) lebron james and other black athletes have shoes, clothes, even sprite commericals.

(music) when britney or justin need a beat, or somebody to rap on their song they go get a black male.


I was just saying alot of ppl dont like that black men are the popular culture mostly.