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Often not violent types??? You obviously haven't been hit on by the cocky abnoxious New York males. "Disrespect" them and find a glass bottle being thrown at your head!!! It's just sad!!!
Well, I was specifically speaking about ATL. I've been to NYC a few times but it was always as a "weekender", on vacation, so I've never run into NYC version of "persistent l'amour".
To me it seems like a majority of educated black men in Atlanta are intimidated by a educated, successful woman. It seems as if the only men that approach me are "gangsta" "hood" men, which I am not at all attracted to, and yes I am a black woman. I would say I am a rather good catch, no kids, down to earth, educated, attractive, and approachable(so i thought) etc., yet I have not met a decent single man since i moved to metro atlanta from New York in 2004. So I dont know what the problem is there are men who are claiming to be single eligible bachelors but when it comes down to it they are no where to be found. Where are you all hiding if you say you exist???, which i know you must! Yes I do have standards because I REFUSE to be just another baby mother! I hope to one day share the experience of starting a family with a man whom does not have previous children of his own. I guess I'm just not mature enough to accept being 2nd best. What is sad is, I heard from another young sister that a black man with no kids in this day & age is just impossible..If that is the case I guess its a house full of cats for me! I am hoping to at least find a decent man once I transfer & continue my education @ GSU this Fall, but I'm sure not holding my breath on it. I just can't waist the energy on this topic any longer...seems like a never ending battle!
I have the exact same problem. I think I'm a good catch as well. No kids, no drama, down to earth and quite cheery but trying to get a decent brother is like pulling tooth and nail. Like you, I have standards, while I have dated men with kids, that is NOT for me. Sorry, I can't get down with the baby mama drama cause lets face it, these brothas pick some true hood rats to mother their kids but when they get older they want a real, respectable woman! But what respectable woman wants to put up with that crap???
I have to admit I don't think men are intimidated by educated women anymore. That may have been a thing of the past but these days I feel that educated men do want educated women. I think the problem with educated black men is that they know they are in demand and can play around whenever they feel like it so they don't have to commit to anyone. I could be wrong but that's just my opinion. I've lived here in ATL all my life and that's what I've observed. I have a few white and Asian friends and this doesn't seem to be an issue with them. They can find decent men all day long. I've had some even ask me "Gosh you're so sweet and wonderful..why can't you find a decent man. Are you too picky?" If they only knew!!! I've tried to explain the phenomena of what's going on here but some get it and some don't. I would say the solution would be to date interracially but here in Georgia as a black woman you run into problems with that. Asian men don't and won't date or marry black women....regardless of how nice and educated you are. (You wouldn't believe the racism that comes from their communities). White men will date black women but aren't in it for marrying. It's kinda a no win situation and I have no solutions for the problem.
You are exactly right. I've met soooo many married men who find it strange I will not talk to them. They don't have an issue getting women to deal with them even when they let them know plainly that they're married. And you're right about the educated ones...they know they're in demand. It's a lost cause. They will let you know they have options!!
The sad part is that some of these married men can be so persistent. I'm like do I need to knock you in the head with a bible??? Oh and let me tell you about the endless 60 and 70 year olds who try to "get their talk on" with you. I'm like you're old enough to be my dad!! And what are we gonna talk about? Cause believe me, talking is all we're gonna be doing. I'm not one of these Atlanta women who will go out on a date with a man for a free meal. What kinda sick mentality is that? And it seems to exist among educated, well to do black women as well. They're like, "you don't have to like him, just go out with him and get that free meal". HUH?? Sorry but I'm not gonna be a scank for a free meal!
You are exactly right. I've met soooo many married men who find it strange I will not talk to them. They don't have an issue getting women to deal with them even when they let them know plainly that they're married. And you're right about the educated ones...they know they're in demand. It's a lost cause. They will let you know they have options!!
Damn. I had no idea it was this jacked up for sistas. There are some good men still left. *looks @ dusty playa card...from 2004...ok 2006*
I have the exact same problem. I think I'm a good catch as well. No kids, no drama, down to earth and quite cheery but trying to get a decent brother is like pulling tooth and nail. Like you, I have standards, while I have dated men with kids, that is NOT for me. Sorry, I can't get down with the baby mama drama cause lets face it, these brothas pick some true hood rats to mother their kids but when they get older they want a real, respectable woman! But what respectable woman wants to put up with that crap???
I have to admit I don't think men are intimidated by educated women anymore. That may have been a thing of the past but these days I feel that educated men do want educated women. I think the problem with educated black men is that they know they are in demand and can play around whenever they feel like it so they don't have to commit to anyone. I could be wrong but that's just my opinion. I've lived here in ATL all my life and that's what I've observed. I have a few white and Asian friends and this doesn't seem to be an issue with them. They can find decent men all day long. I've had some even ask me "Gosh you're so sweet and wonderful..why can't you find a decent man. Are you too picky?" If they only knew!!! I've tried to explain the phenomena of what's going on here but some get it and some don't. I would say the solution would be to date interracially but here in Georgia as a black woman you run into problems with that. Asian men don't and won't date or marry black women....regardless of how nice and educated you are. (You wouldn't believe the racism that comes from their communities). White men will date black women but aren't in it for marrying. It's kinda a no win situation and I have no solutions for the problem.
Single, no kids, educated, hetero, working, ambitious, spiritual, spontaneous, stylish, fiscally responsible, family-oriented, music lover...good looking...and not a pushover... - PM me and let's chat.
I haven't commented on this thread but I've had enough of this black women don't smile nonsense. For one thing, if you're with Becky it's because you want to be with Becky. Becky is free to smile and flirt, because it's highly unlikely that Becky will find herself on the receiving end of a bullet (or in one case a machete) if she dares reject a man's overtures on the street. Just walking down the street is enough to have foul and debasing language of the worst sort directed towards you. Why on earth would we SMILE?
Thanks for posting that video. It was an eye opener for me, but what about the times that women aren't walking outside.
Whenever I see a black young lady that looks like God has done nothing for her and she seems miserable, I either become real annoyed or just start smiling at her. If it's that bad you need to just go on and commit side-ways. Maybe that will lesson the competition. LOL! Seriously what man wants to be a part of that situation. I want a woman that's fine and Fun to be around.
It's all about how you carry yourself. Deep down inside we know who to mess with and who not to mess with on the street and it's doesn't come down to a smile vs no smile.
...but what about the times that women aren't walking outside.
I guess I shouldn't be surprised that I have to point this out, but after you spend a lifetime running a gauntlet of men directing all manner of vulgarity and threatening violence at you, there comes a time when you stop looking at men altogether. I know for myself, except for very specific situations, I don't look at or make eye contact with men at all. Keep in mind, this type behavior isn't limited to 'the hood,' or those that you might think of as thugs. I'll never forget the way most black women on my college campus were greeted by the young men there. Suffice it to say, it wasn't a cordial 'good morning.' I've walked past a group of medical professionals taking a smoke break and had filth directed towards me. I'll never forget taking my then 6 week old son out for a walk in his stroller and having a city employee follow me for blocks directing all kinds of filth towards me. Keep in mind, in this same neighborhood white women routinely jogged in bra tops and bike shorts. I was covered from neck to knee, but he chose to get dirty with me.
White women are free to smile and flirt because the power dynamic is different. At just a word from them they can have practically any black man in this country hanging from a tree. Black women who have been gang-raped have the spectacle of seeing the NAACP come out in SUPPORT of their attackers. We have no protection in this country, especially not from black men who would assault us. It only stands to reason that we'd try to limit to opportunity for the assaults to occur.
Roslyn H: Oh man.... I am rarely speechless.... but you got me on this one. Your responses are kinda....extreme.
White women are free to smile and flirt because they realize that no one can take that power from them. If you give it up willingly based on the actions of others, that's a personal choice. I can't argue with someone's decision to give up their power. But based on your responses, it's probably best to have minimal contact with men.
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Welcome to City-Data.com forum! Make sure to register - it's free and very quick! You have to register before you can post and participate in our discussions with 700,000 other registered members. User profiles and some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your free account you will be able to customize many options, you will have the full access to over 15,000 posts/day about local topics and you will see fewer ads. 
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