Black dating question (Atlanta: living in, bikes, best)

[queenbee3]

Thank you Mister NY and Truth 25

[MisterNY]

Originally Posted by truth25

TNRyan, My wife is black. The way she tells it, She started dating white men because she was tired of being hit, cheated on, and having her black boyfriends spending bill money on things like playstations, rims, ect, ect..

I Quoted him on the wrong post, to date a white man because of your past with your own race, there’s something more behind that reason. His wife has been dating thugs, but to go with another person because there not black? he should watch out that all that I can say about that. His also said that black men that she has dated spent the bill money on rims ect. That means that there was financial problems in her past relationships.

queenbee3 good post.

True, good points. I reread what you said, and you did have some good points. You have to look at the particular case at hand. I had to re-examine what you said. There can be lots of hurt or resentment from his wife's past due to her negative experiences. She may have overcome her past, but still has scars. Your point of view opened my mind to do some more thinking.

[Huntsville_secede]

Originally Posted by MikeJone'sBloodyNose

I think its just your wife's selection of black men in the past is the reason why she gave up on black men. Most black women feel that the most attractive black men are the ones that carry that ignorant thug image they see on tv. black women have a tendency to attract the dudes that don't have their priorities together. and the black men that do have their priorities straight just aren't attractive to certain black women. One of the sistas even admitted on the Tyra banks show that the black men that do have their **** together are too nice, or they're ugly as fack. alot of black women feel that they need a tupac, lil wayne, or plies with a degree, but when reality kicks in, that crap rarly exists.

This is so true, and its part of the problem that I think gets overlooked a lot. Everyone wants to dog black men for not having their sh** together but the ones that do are told they aren't street enough or they just aren't flashy enough (don't spend their money on rims and jewelry and other unimportant stuff). Yes there is a huge shortage of thugs with degrees if that's what you want. Plus I think it causes more black men to try to become the thug image because they know the dudes who act like that are the ones getting all the women.

[AtlMuslimah]

Ghetto attracts ghetto and ambitious attracts ambitious!

[mdiggs1]

This is one of the most entertaining threads I have ever read. I would like to say thank you to all the posters; Seriously, I cannot stop laughing.

[ttefylooc]

Originally Posted by Java378

Hi. I'm going to be a recent college grad. I am sending out for jobs and such.
I always hear about Black women saying there are no "Good Black men" left, but where are these people who are saying that?

I haven't had a date in quite a while and I was just wondering.

"Good Black Men that are not rich" = LAME

Read between the lines my brotha. Don't be a good black man, be yourself. Peace

[JayRockTeam]

LOL... I'll be the first agent to engage in this tread. I guess the rest are afraid they may not come off PC enough. First and foremost I am a 30+ black male who is my mother's son (let her tell it and I should be married with kids by now, but thats just how the women in my family are).

Now that I put that out there. There is a simple issue with women (certainly not just women of color) not having a solid idea of what a man actually is. This is often compounded by the fact that they have no REAL examples to compare the men that they meet with. For years Oprah spread the "I don't need a man" doctrine, only to be strung along by Steadman (and if you think she didn't want to get married... what flavor kool-aid do you like??)

On the other side of that blade are men that haven't got the foggiest idea what it is to be a man. They get their cues (both men and women) from television and the mainstream media. One of the best things to come out of the 70's (other than roller skates) was the premise of "each one teach one"... start there fellas.

There are plenty of good men PERIOD. But the onus is on women to firmly understand what is ACTUALLY important to them in a relationship and stop being sidetracked by what everyone else (mainstream media, TD Jakes, mom, sister, coworker) tells them is important.

.

[ttefylooc]

Originally Posted by cocopuffy

Its not that there are no "Good Black Men" left...its just that many of those men do not match your education and professional levels and may not seem that desirable to you. And if they do....lets just say that a good number of those men aren't dating Black women...

Exactly!! Co sign on the Cocopuffy. IMHO Accomplished black women are the key to black men being accomplished. They never give the regular guy a chance. If she drives a BMW and you drive a Nissan she will look down on you. She don't see that you have a job, your own place & treat people well...all she sees is your car. Nissans are cool cars too, at least they are not Kias lol. The women that make the "NO GOOD BLACK MEN" comments standards are way too high.

[ttefylooc]

Originally Posted by chip1980

plenty of good black men in atlanta, instead of looking for them in the strip club or the nightclub look for them at the local colleges, in the bookstores, in the musems, political or business functions, sporting events, etc

Well put Chip.

[AtlMuslimah]

Originally Posted by ttefylooc

Exactly!! Co sign on the Cocopuffy. IMHO Accomplished black women are the key to black men being accomplished. They never give the regular guy a chance. If she drives a BMW and you drive a Nissan she will look down on you. She don't see that you have a job, your own place & treat people well...all she sees is your car. Nissans are cool cars too, at least they are not Kias lol. The women that make the "NO GOOD BLACK MEN" comments standards are way too high.

The same can be said for black men driving a Mercedes Benz looking down black women driving a Saturn or Honda or whatever car she drives, money attracts money, money attracts ghetto, ghetto attracts ghetto and ghetto attracts money (only if they're on par with being a dime piece or extraordinary handsome)!