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Old 11-18-2016, 10:03 AM
 
72 posts, read 54,746 times
Reputation: 59

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Quote:
Originally Posted by fieldm View Post
Yes. Stay where you are. There are drug needles, crack cocaine, PCP, etc all over the ground here. Apartments prices are higher than San Francisco. Run!!!!!!!!!
sarcasm?
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Old 11-18-2016, 10:03 AM
 
1,162 posts, read 513,515 times
Reputation: 1340
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mutiny77 View Post
That much is obvious.

It is the height of arrogance to assume that your privilege extends to others because it most surely does not.

You'd be better off just saying, "Oh well; sucks not to be a White, straight male."
people need advice, not a room full of self-pitying, negative ninnies.

When you let others control you and your perceptions you;re never going to move forward and stop ruminating on past injustices.
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Old 11-18-2016, 10:09 AM
 
72 posts, read 54,746 times
Reputation: 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by Domitian View Post
people need advice, not a room full of self-pitying, negative ninnies.

When you let others control you and your perceptions you;re never going to move forward and stop ruminating on past injustices.
How can someone who takes pride in their known "privileged" fail to see that the injustices they speak of are not in the past.
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Old 11-18-2016, 10:21 AM
 
29,946 posts, read 27,406,003 times
Reputation: 18529
^What she said.

I think a person who relishes in their privilege and has not a shred of empathy should be the last person to dish out "advice."

The practical thing for the OP to do is to find places that meet her criteria, then do her research on local resources, politics, crime stats, etc. Telling her that she'll only get beat up if she's looking for it doesn't constitute any kind of advice whatsoever and isn't helpful on any level.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Domitian View Post
people need advice, not a room full of self-pitying, negative ninnies.

When you let others control you and your perceptions you;re never going to move forward and stop ruminating on past injustices.
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Old 11-18-2016, 11:15 AM
 
1,151 posts, read 978,981 times
Reputation: 830
Quote:
Originally Posted by msedwards83 View Post
You keeping using the term dump and stepping over drug needles. Being from NYC, I'm envisioning the South Bronx in 70's and 80's and anyone that lived here during that time knows what i'm talking about. You make it sound like a 3rd world country.Is really that bad? I was actually considering moving there because I thought the cost of living would be lower, but I'm guessing it's not.
Stay where you are. We have enough people.
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Old 11-18-2016, 11:16 AM
 
1,151 posts, read 978,981 times
Reputation: 830
Quote:
Originally Posted by msedwards83 View Post
sarcasm?
Why would it be? You said yourself the rent was high and drugs were everywhere right?
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Old 11-18-2016, 11:21 AM
 
72 posts, read 54,746 times
Reputation: 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by bhammaster View Post
Stay where you are. We have enough people.
Thanks for your advice. You have a great day.
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Old 11-18-2016, 12:28 PM
 
Location: South
253 posts, read 196,837 times
Reputation: 687
Quote:
Originally Posted by Domitian View Post
in my old neioghborhood there were three LGBT families. Two were part of the neighborhood just like everyone else - they came to card parties, holiday potlucks, etc and were simply normal (I say that in the context of common, neighborhood, non-gender-specific normalcy - not in an assuming LGBT is abnormal context). However, the 3rd family was what I call 'militant LGBT' - they made sure everyone KNEW they were LGBT and looked for any slight they perceived was against them. Simply put, they had a chip on their shoulder.

The two cool families didn't hide who they were and no one cared! they were just our neighbors. That third family though, geesh, they assumed they were coming to the 'burbs and were going to encounter bible thumping bigots around every corner. No one liked them and they assumed it was b/c they were LGBT - they fulfilled their own prophecy.
There's no prophecy, so I have no idea what you are talking about.

You perceived them to be behaving like jerks simply because they 'made sure everyone knew they were LGBT' as though being open with who you are is not desireable or problematic. You also assume that the other families were perfectly content with everything about the neighborhood simply because they were 'unassuming', which I take to meant that they didn't 'flaunt' their gayness in a way you found objectionable.

I've lived in many places just fine, where I didn't have major issues with neighbors and those same neighbors would tell others that they were an LGBT friendly community because they have a resident gay and she doesn't get bashed. What they didn't know is that I simply didn't speak up my grievances because I felt too unsafe to do so. Everyone would be so very nice at those potlucks or would bring a dish over when they learned I'd had a death in the family but they'd also stand there and use horrifically homophobic language. Usually they didn't even realize it! If I'd stepped in and said, "Um, no, I'm not a sin and I deserve to have the same basic liberties as you," I know for a fact that I'd have been labeled one of those "militant" LGBT persons with a chip on my shoulder. Instead they thought I was just a friend gay who was so happy to be told that I was inferior to them.

It wouldn't hurt for you really consider the experiences of others and not just assume their reactions mean one thing.

Also, this is a pretty sensitive situation where my adopted son was horribly abused and beaten and thus suffers extreme ptsd. I do not want him in an environment where he fears for even speaking about who he is. If it's just me, I'd live wherever because I can put up with those like you. I'm sure you can appreciate why it's important for me to look for a place where my child will feel most comfortable so he can learn to heal.

Quote:
Originally Posted by msedwards83 View Post
You keeping using the term dump and stepping over drug needles. Being from NYC, I'm envisioning the South Bronx in 70's and 80's and anyone that lived here during that time knows what i'm talking about. You make it sound like a 3rd world country.Is really that bad? I was actually considering moving there because I thought the cost of living would be lower, but I'm guessing it's not.
No, definitely not all of Atlanta is a dump. I'm just on a fixed income and the cost of living has increased so rapidly in the last three years that I have been relegated to the dumps. I'm tired of living in the dumps. If I had even $400 extra each month, I'd be doing really well. It's why having a partner or 2nd parent is preferred, because there is more money available.
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Old 11-20-2016, 10:46 AM
 
Location: Atlanta
3,213 posts, read 3,201,704 times
Reputation: 2041
Quote:
Originally Posted by Domitian View Post
i live in reality.

It's like the tourist walking around Nassau who assumes the port is seedy and he's going to get mugged. He carries himself differently then the others and he'll get picked off by the hustlers.

I would ask the OP, how would their potential new neighbors know they are LGBT? Are you going to somehow advertise it or inform them?
It's clear you live in your own reality.

Self fulfilling prophesies can exist but let's not continue pretending like it applies in this case just for you to try to prove some (mute) point.

Best you offer something positive to this thread like where OP can find a 3-bedroom within her budget in a tolerant neighborhood with decent schools.
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Old 11-20-2016, 11:01 AM
 
Location: Atlanta
3,213 posts, read 3,201,704 times
Reputation: 2041
Quote:
Originally Posted by Domitian View Post
people need advice, not a room full of self-pitying, negative ninnies.

When you let others control you and your perceptions you;re never going to move forward and stop ruminating on past injustices.
You do understand your empathy-lacking posts embody the epitome of negativity by blaming the OP....right?

Do you even know what ruminating means??

If you lived in a neighborhood where your car got broken into 4 times and you decide to move and decide to look up crime statistics in the areas you're considering because you are concerned about your car being broken into is that RUMINATING? No it's not. It's learning from past experiences that perhaps petty crime is more rampant in some areas than others so you should take that into consideration when you move again.

***It doesn't meant that you're going to have a self fulfilling prophecy of having your car broken into.***

I don't follow your train of thought and as you can see it appears the only person who can in this thread is you.
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