Successful black men in GA (Atlanta: activities, land, metro)

[MisterNY]

Originally Posted by PKCorey

I thought I was the only one who noticed that...

So, much angry towards blacks but black men in general. Jebus!

Times heals all wounds..ha!

Oh no, you're not alone noticing that. Such poison is easy to spot. I don't know about time healing all wounds for this one. We're talking about deep therapy here.

[Brighteyes33]

I'm just wondering how many of you are out there in or over your 30's considering artificial insemination or have thought about it? Like I said before, I've pretty much given up on black men and I'm so burned out with dating that I don't even want to be bothered. Ive come to realize being a really kind, good woman has worked against me. I'm over 30 and have toyed with artificial insemination to become pregnant. I used to be horrified at being a single mother (so much for my conservative upbringing) but that's looking more appealing now, especially as I get closer to 38 which is the cut off age for women because of the increased chances of having a child with down syndrome and other illnesses. I figure if a man comes along afterwards.....welll he just comes along. With the increasing number of single, successful black women, I'm just wondering how many have thought about this or even considered it? Do you even know someone who has done this? I've only known one successful sister who adopted a child but that was it. Don't think she ever got married but she is doing well.

[Brighteyes33]

Originally Posted by Nikki9947

I've been holding back my thoughts for so long and finally I just can't take it anymore. I had to jump in for a second (and I will try to say this calmly). 1st of all, I just wanted to address the fact that I've noticed that a lot of men are assuming that us black women are out for the money. Well No, It's not about the money, it's about having someone who is goal-oriented like me, who put themselves through college and/or grad school like me, and who won't turn my credit score upside down when I get married. And just as important, it's about the CHIVALRY (which is dead for the most part.) If I pushed myself to work hard, why can't you? Why do I have to hold your hand? And if you are in fact underwater with your finances or "unsuccessful", why can't you put in a larger effort to create romance to make up for the things that are lacking? You don't have to take me to an expensive restaurant! You don't have to drive a flashy car or have a lot of money! Honest to God, myself and many other singles would be satisfied with a small brunch in the park. More specifically, with someone who will put in an effort to appreciate us. Someone who works hard to create a solid household. We are missing that effort and respect.
Also, PLEASE explain what is wrong with getting married and having a family? Men have been making me feel like an idiot for years for wanting those two valuable things. A lot (not ALL) but I repeat.. a hell of a lot of black men have serious commitment issues. I know this through my experiences as well as other black women. I still cannot for the life of me figure out what is wrong with this picture. I know so many quality women out there who look good, take care of themselves, and are still single. Why should we as black women have to put up with the extra bull? Why should we have to lower our standards when we've worked hard to create success for ourselves? This is not what you would want for your daughters so why would you do this to your women. Between the beaters, the cheaters, the lazy/unmotivated, the DL, the uncommited, the leavers, the ex-cons, and the ones with baby momma drama, I just don't know what to think or how we are supposed to even enjoy the process of dating.
Bottom line, yes many of us are angry but only because you've made us this way.

I think we are expected to put up with bull. Think about it......not very much is expected from black women to begin except mouthiness and a good time in bed. Look at how we are portrayed in movies. Would people suggest to an Asian woman or white woman who has a doctorate to lower her standards or date men with children? I think not..in fact many of the white and Asian women I know don't even think about having to find men below their standards because most have no problem whatsoever finding decent men (black men included). Funny how one of my East Indian friends was able to find a very successful black man and I can't. And you wanna talk about picky....she is picky to the max and her standards are no joke.

For black women, interracial dating is a difficult option as well. Many men don't want to marry black women because of how their families view us and so we are left having difficulty in that area as well.

[rcsteiner]

Originally Posted by RoslynHolcomb

Never dated a man with kids and never would. If he got that chick pregnant and didn't marry her, presumably he'd do the same to me seeing as I don't have a gold-plated hoo-ha or anything. Nope. Don't do daddies. They're so not worth it.

What if she left him? Or he left her because of her infidelity? There are plenty of circumstances where a man could be a single daddy not through his own selfish actions.

I have a few (admittedly white) relatives and friends who fit that description, and usually there are circumstances which caused the split which were at the very least mutual in nature. One is a single dad who is going to law school nights while also working fulltime, and he's a wonderfully responsible man and father.

[Akhenaton06]

If you want to destroy a people, you start with their men. That strategy, put in place hundreds of years ago, is still working.

[RoslynHolcomb]

Originally Posted by rcsteiner

What if she left him? Or he left her because of her infidelity? There are plenty of circumstances where a man could be a single daddy not through his own selfish actions.

I have a few (admittedly white) relatives and friends who fit that description, and usually there are circumstances which caused the split which were at the very least mutual in nature. One is a single dad who is going to law school nights while also working fulltime, and he's a wonderfully responsible man and father.

As I said. Most people have good reasons for what it is that they choose to do. That in no way alters the impact that their behavior will have on me and mine. I'm sure there are plenty of men out there who are single parents through no fault of their own. Bottom line is, they're still single parents with the baggage that entails. Where it be baby-mama drama, financial impact, etc... It's not for me. It's also been my experience that when people have already done something it's more likely that they'll do it again. Which is why the divorce rate for second marriages are even higher than the rates for first marriages. Like I said, I'm not interested in shooting craps with my life.

Brighteyes, there are a number of websites and blogs where black women are discussing these issues in a safe nurturing environment. PM me if you'd like the links.

[MrMcCoySays]

I can't help but wonder how many of you black women that have given up on "us" were ever once critical of black men who have given up on black women. I just don't understand why we continue to do this to each other.

Who knows? Maybe the problem is in the Atlanta metro! Some of you sistas should probably try the black dating scene over here in Texas.

[karrobe]

Originally Posted by MrMcCoySays

I can't help but wonder how many of you black women that have given up on "us" were ever once critical of black men who have given up on black women. I just don't understand why we continue to do this to each other.

Who knows? Maybe the problem is in the Atlanta metro! Some of you sistas should probably try the black dating scene over here in Texas.

From my personal experience, it certainly is very bad in Atlanta. It seems like a magnification of everything that is wrong with relationships in the black community. But undoubtedly, these problems are everywhere.

[Brighteyes33]

Originally Posted by RoslynHolcomb

As I said. Most people have good reasons for what it is that they choose to do. That in no way alters the impact that their behavior will have on me and mine. I'm sure there are plenty of men out there who are single parents through no fault of their own. Bottom line is, they're still single parents with the baggage that entails. Where it be baby-mama drama, financial impact, etc... It's not for me. It's also been my experience that when people have already done something it's more likely that they'll do it again. Which is why the divorce rate for second marriages are even higher than the rates for first marriages. Like I said, I'm not interested in shooting craps with my life.

Brighteyes, there are a number of websites and blogs where black women are discussing these issues in a safe nurturing environment. PM me if you'd like the links.

I have to back you up on this. I've dated men with children and it's too much drama. You have to date around those custody days. The kids get jealous and start competing for daddy's attention. Sometimes the women aren't over their baby's daddy and are trying all they can do to sabotage his new relationship. And let's face it, most of these men don't pick the cream of the crop to have their children with and if they did, they'd still be with these women. Futhermore, I don't have kids myself and there should be nothing wrong with me wanting a man who doesn't have children and nothing should be wrong if a man wants a woman that doesn't have children. People get so offended by this and I can't understand it. It's more of a touchy issue in the black community because of all these unplanned pregnancies but blacks we need to use some common sense in the area of family planning. This stuff is really out of hand. This is not 1930. There are available resources out there today that will prevent pregnancies. If you're too lazy to get up and get you some birth control then keep your legs closed and the pants pulled up!

[Brighteyes33]

Originally Posted by MrMcCoySays

I can't help but wonder how many of you black women that have given up on "us" were ever once critical of black men who have given up on black women. I just don't understand why we continue to do this to each other.

Who knows? Maybe the problem is in the Atlanta metro! Some of you sistas should probably try the black dating scene over here in Texas.

Got a friend in Texas and she reports the same kinda stuff there. I think this is a black thing in general!