Northern Blacks and Southern Blacks? (Atlanta, Jackson: fit in, neighborhoods, living in)

[michaelcarter2008]

Hi not trying to start some trouble, however, Ive been living in jacksonville FL for two years and it seems as though i'm an outsider here. I say this because the entire two years ive been here i never once made any friends. and the women here go for some of the dirtiest guys ive ever seen. at first I though maybe it wwas me but ive lived in CA for many years and a had friends of all colors and creeds. I m supposed to be moving to to ATL in a few months I hope ppl are a lil more friendlier there.

[aries4118]

It's culture...in my opinion, Southern Blacks and Southern Whites have much more in common with each other than Southern Blacks do with Northern Blacks.


Southern Black Culture and Southern White Culture are very, very similar...only slight, minute differences (if any). My point--here in the American South, it's just Southern Culture.

(if the arbitrary, invented racial divide can be overcome...and I hope it will eventually...it will be such a beautiful (Southern!) thing!)

[CaliDude1]

So how does your inabilitly to make friends tie into Northern Blacks vs. Southern Blacks? Just curious. My guess it that you are black and are having trouble connecting with the blacks down south. Is that a correct guess?

Originally Posted by aries4118

It's culture...in my opinion, Southern Blacks and Southern Whites have much more in common with each other than Southern Blacks do with Northern Blacks.

This is such a true statement. Both of my parent's families are from the south (Louisiana and Georgia). As a West Coast guy I notice a lot of differences between myself and our family here in California and our Southern cousins. However, I don't see it as a bad thing. I always enjoy myself when I go down south. But then again I am just visiting. Maybe it would be different if I were trying to stay.

[michaelcarter2008]

yes and i guess it shuldbn't bother me or maybe im a but nieve, but this is the first time where i been at a place where im not invited to a cook out or beers its just wierd thats all im saying.

[CaliDude1]

Micheal,

People really don't understand how big some of our country's regional differences are. Often times we think ethnicity will simply bind us together. That is not always true. Maybe you just need to give it more time. The North is a lot different from the South. Just remember since you are the one moving you have to make the effort to adapt.

[justhere]

Imho, from what I have seen, and this is quite general, "northerner" seems to be often applied to someone who may have family in the south but just not from or raised in, the south. "Outsider" is applied to someone who has little roots in the area (or family) and was not raised in the area or from the south and really, could be from anywhere in the country.

The reason I say this is because several couples we know refer to one of the spouses as a "northerner" but they have family here in the south, lotsa family. Others are referred to as "not from here" (or "outsider" which is never actually spoken) with maybe one family member in the south but not in the local area.

My husband is born and raised here with lotsa family and knows a lot of people. On the other hand, I would be considered an outsider. But, back to the OPs original statement, yes, it can be lonely and no, it isn't as diverse as California but then where is? California is an enigma. You don't realize it, until you leave. But for the South, black and white mixing is considered as diverse as it gets. It appears to me also, to be the culture. It is difficult for me not to see it and ask my husband how difficult it was for him to accept West Coast culture? Pull up a chair and get a beer, you'll warm the seat hearing his experiences which I just took for granted in my day-to-day living. Seeing all the diversity in California was very, very overwhelming for him the first year. Mixed couples there could be Russian and Black, Vietnamese and Korean, Haitian and Jewish, German/French and Chinese its really, really, really diverse. You get used to seeing it, its the water you swim in, like a fish. Its not a big deal at all for those who live there. Here, some people aren't going to like you on sight, just because you look too different, others, its no biggee.

Move to the south and the expectation of that kind of diversity will make you queasy and the mere mention of such mixing will get you blank stares. I've gotten many empty invitations and many good invitations to dinner and what not while here. Through friends of friends we've met people from California, New York, Arizona and Chicago and that has helped a lot. It's lonelier than I am accustomed to because I am used to a lot more choices in association in general because California has loads more people (36 mil). In California if its kinda boring here, you drive a hour or two over there and you got snow and mountains, if its not doing anything there, you drive 2 mores hours to somewhere else. Lotsa choices. Here its a smaller area, less diversity, less choices so you have to look closer and longer. You may never adapt but just knowing what you are dealing with will help so that you don't unwittingly enforce what you are used to on those who've never experienced it or just don't like it that way. You'll at least know what you need to do to do more than just survive, but thrive.

The culture divides and fractures throughout the South. I've heard some say they don't like people up North and I thought they meant way up North, like Ohio ~ nah, they are talking ATL! I've met people from ATL, we click like a lock, no problem.

[michaelcarter2008]

Well thats gonna suck if ATL is like Jax. I love the weather but this place sucks. I'm supposed to move to ATL for better opportunities but I do like having a social life sometimes also. i often wonder to ppl here know that its the 21st century and we can socialize with others races. It mus have been very sad here 40 yrs ago. the only thing i will miss about here is the church its multi cultural and at least the ppl there seem ok. Wut i'm trying to figure out is where will I fit in there? i dont dress or talk like a thug however im no yuppie either

[mmenomen]

I think it can be hard to make friends sometimes in Atlanta; I understand that completely. In many neighborhoods here, people want to keep to themselves. There are many transients in Atlanta (people from everywhere in large numbers), though I cannot really comment on your situation in Jacksonville since I haven't been there much. Atlanta is probably going to be different for you, I think, not as many natives in the area in general. Maybe if you cannot make friends with immediate neighbors, you could try joining organizations (civic or volunteer) with interests similar to yours. You should then meet like-minded people and it might make it easier to make friends.

[big daryle]

Originally Posted by michaelcarter2008

yes and i guess it shuldbn't bother me or maybe im a but nieve, but this is the first time where i been at a place where im not invited to a cook out or beers its just wierd thats all im saying.

I predict you will make a lot of friends in Atlanta, it is a very friendly town. Jacksonville in many ways is just a large version of a typical southern MODERATOR REMOVED town.

[kayrob]

Never mind. Not whay I expected when I clicked on it.