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Old 04-19-2009, 05:50 PM
 
21 posts, read 128,405 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brownhornet View Post
I don't think it gets more real than this. I have a lot of single female friends and some of their expectations of a brotha are just plain ridiculous. And add to that the fact that many of them look like gum on the bottom of a shoe but expect the dude to be a GQ magazine model with a body full of muscles.

I could easily say the same thing about the quality of black women here but I know there are plenty of single brothas here that are worthy of a relationship material but as long as women keep believing they can only date the cream of the crop then there will continue to be women in their 40s that have never been married.

Lastly, some of the women with the "I won't settle mentality bed to realize that sometimes its actually the brotha that's settling for them... it is what it is.

 
Old 04-19-2009, 05:57 PM
 
21 posts, read 128,405 times
Reputation: 21
I couldn't have said it better myself. I am woman enough to admit that I used to be one of those "closed minded, superficial, want it all thinking without bringing anything to table kind of women." Until it was when i found one of those brothers who was what we call a "baller". Owned 2 homes, couple of nice whips with chromed out wheels, owned his own business, no kids, doing nicely for himself. Yeah he had all that; which was what i wanted at the time, but he treated me like s--t!, treated his parents like s--t! and it wasn't until then that I learned that the next time i chose anybody for me it won't be for what they had it would be for what their character and personality says about them. Yeah i am still single but I am a better judge of men now , because i don't go off the initial impression because just like women can put up "a front" men do the same thing
 
Old 04-19-2009, 07:07 PM
 
Location: 30080
2,124 posts, read 3,392,972 times
Reputation: 1461
How old are you?
 
Old 04-19-2009, 07:08 PM
 
21 posts, read 128,405 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by atlantagreg30127 View Post
Um... did you consider the fact that they may be choosing other beautiful black women as well?


I have considered that...the competition is stiff here in atlanta...but i still say the pickings are slim because alot of black men want the best of both worlds: one with a woman and one with a man...lol
 
Old 04-20-2009, 05:07 AM
 
7,848 posts, read 17,809,470 times
Reputation: 2762
Quote:
Originally Posted by lsc1977 View Post



I have considered that...the competition is stiff here in atlanta...but i still say the pickings are slim because alot of black men want the best of both worlds: one with a woman and one with a man...lol
It's not simply "a lot of black men want the best of both worlds"...those are closeted gay black men. The straight black men wouldn't be dating both men and women.

Am I in the same city as you? It seems like to me that straight black professional educated men are very plentiful in Atlanta - and some of them are even single.
 
Old 04-20-2009, 06:57 AM
 
21 posts, read 128,405 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DeaconJ View Post
It's not simply "a lot of black men want the best of both worlds"...those are closeted gay black men. The straight black men wouldn't be dating both men and women.

Am I in the same city as you? It seems like to me that straight black professional educated men are very plentiful in Atlanta - and some of them are even single.
well where are they? I am pretty sure they are around, but most of the ones I have come in contact with or what you refer to as "closeted gay black men". I even work with a guy who is so attractive that women of every race are throwing themselves at him constantly. BUT rumors are floating around that he is gay, has been spotted at gay clubs, and he himself is always defending himself saying he is not gay. So if I ask myself if you are not gay why are you always "flocking" to the gay men at work? To each his own, but I just don't have alot of respect for men that aren't "man" enough to stand on what they want to be or believe in. If you are gay then be gay. who am i to be a judge of your sexual preference. I just wish the ones that are "closeted"gay would be openly gay because it is wrong to lead on and manipulate people especially black women especially when the HIV/AIDS epidemic is at an all time high, especially in atlanta
 
Old 04-20-2009, 08:02 AM
 
7,848 posts, read 17,809,470 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lsc1977 View Post
well where are they? I am pretty sure they are around, but most of the ones I have come in contact with or what you refer to as "closeted gay black men". I even work with a guy who is so attractive that women of every race are throwing themselves at him constantly. BUT rumors are floating around that he is gay, has been spotted at gay clubs, and he himself is always defending himself saying he is not gay. So if I ask myself if you are not gay why are you always "flocking" to the gay men at work? To each his own, but I just don't have alot of respect for men that aren't "man" enough to stand on what they want to be or believe in. If you are gay then be gay. who am i to be a judge of your sexual preference. I just wish the ones that are "closeted"gay would be openly gay because it is wrong to lead on and manipulate people especially black women especially when the HIV/AIDS epidemic is at an all time high, especially in atlanta
Oh I don't disagree with anything you stated above...but there are very negative and complicated issues with being open and honest that often make it extremely difficult. It we as a society didn't make it such a hard and emotional process, then they would all be out of the closet - there would be no closet. He may be stuggling with the truth because of his family or other people in his life.

I guess there is no way to really determine a man's orientation unless he volunteers that information. So you're really just playing the game that all single people are playing, the "getting to know someone is risky" game...you never what he might be hiding: other women, his sexuality, drug abuse, lies of all sorts.
 
Old 04-20-2009, 09:08 AM
 
Location: Metropolis, USA
1,104 posts, read 1,122,708 times
Reputation: 181
Quote:
Originally Posted by RZaakir View Post
For what it's worth. I'm a single professional straight black man and I still ride MARTA.

Hmmmm... maybe that's why I'm single. Heh.
Nope!! I have to disagree. Ive plucked a few chickens off the trains. A lot of women here use it for the same reason you do. They understand.
 
Old 04-20-2009, 09:15 AM
 
Location: Metropolis, USA
1,104 posts, read 1,122,708 times
Reputation: 181
Quote:
Originally Posted by lsc1977 View Post
yeah i understand that most Black guys think that most black women want the man with the six figure income, 5 or 6 bedroom house in Buckhead(just referencing the first city that came to mind), preferably no kids, and someone who doesn't mind dropping a little cash their way when they want it. Well what does the woman have to bring to the table, I am an a professional with a mediocre way of living. I don't have the flashy BMW or Mercedes I drive a humble honda accord. But what i did do and is still doing is taking care of me because i didn't want a man to do it. I am not saying that i wouldn't want a man in my life, who may want to spoil me at time its just the pickings in Atl are so slim or seem to be that I just choose not to date. Not all women are golddiggers; especially black women, they have those in just about every nationality of people. I can't speak for anyother black woman but me, and I would love to date and hopefully marry a black man, but I am starting to look outside my race because my experience with black men has been really negative and depressing. I know that their are good strong men in any race, just as there are dogs in every race. But I just want to keep my options open..
Aint nothing wrong with being a gold digger baby!!!! If you can find a simp with the cash then get him for it.

All bs aside you need to go find a dude in the church. The Coolyfetts are the ones you want to stay away from. Good luck sweetie.
 
Old 04-20-2009, 09:24 AM
 
21 posts, read 128,405 times
Reputation: 21
Quote:
Originally Posted by DeaconJ View Post
Oh I don't disagree with anything you stated above...but there are very negative and complicated issues with being open and honest that often make it extremely difficult. It we as a society didn't make it such a hard and emotional process, then they would all be out of the closet - there would be no closet. He may be stuggling with the truth because of his family or other people in his life.

I guess there is no way to really determine a man's orientation unless he volunteers that information. So you're really just playing the game that all single people are playing, the "getting to know someone is risky" game...you never what he might be hiding: other women, his sexuality, drug abuse, lies of all sorts.
I agree with you wholeheartedly. Being open and honest about personal and emotional issues in a pre-conceiving and judgemental society is hard. But as I get older I realize that what people say and think does not matter. Its what you think is best for you. I have a few gay friends, men and women, and sometimes i like for them to meet a guy if i choose date them to let me know if they are gay..lol but to sum it all up..what people want to do with their lives is totally up to them, but i just dont feel it is right to lead a person on whether its a man or woman about your sexual orientation. Its too complex and not to mention dangerous...this goes for men and women who are straight as well and are living double, triple, lives can't do that....maintaining one relatioship is hard enough
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