where are all the single professional STRAIGHT black men (Atlanta: 2014, buyers)

[RZaakir]

- college graduation rate for black males is 37% and black females 47%
Due to aggressive outreach to women over the decades there is a roughly 7 to 10% differential overall in college attendance by gender across the board - favoring women of course. That graduation rates would mirror this is only logical. Black women are closer to 9% higher and the national norm is around 7%, but this is not an especially black problem, it is a nationwide trend.

~ 10% of black males ages 24 - 29 are in prison
And very few of those males are in the professional class which this thread is about. While women like to talk about how open they are to different types of men, few of the women worried about professional men would have these men in their dating pool to begin with.

~ 31% of black males will spend sometime in jail
Again, very few of those are in the professional class.

~70% of black females are unmarried, that's double the rate of where it was a generation ago
I don't quite see how this implies a "man shortage." Sounds like a "commitment shortage." Also, I'd like to see how this breaks down by class.

- not to jump off the "more black men in college vs. jail" rumor again, there are 5 times more black men in college than jail.
This is a horribly misleading statistic that is fairly irrelevant. Most college students are between 18 and 27 where a person can be in jail from age 13 til they die. That is a huge disparity in population size which I would think would be at least 5 times. In actuality, there are more black men from ages 18 to 27 in college than jail which is pretty good since the majority of people still don't go to college yet everyone is eligible to go to jail. And again, many of the black men in jail probably wouldn't have gone to college to begin with.

I'm not in denial about issues in the overall black community, incarceration and particularly socialization of males are big problems. However, a lot of these articles of faith that you cite are problematic in the context of this conversation. From everything I've seen and read, the situation seems to be this:

"Poor" black women have serious numbers problems with men - mainly due to the incarceration issue - but the rest, while at a bit of a disadvantage compared to other women, the disadvantage is not nearly as pronounced as they think.

For the most part, middle class and higher black women are dealing with the well-known truth that "good men are hard to find" and using the very bad statistics from the black lower class to explain away their lack of success where other races of women don't have such phenomenon to consider.

[southkakkatlantan]

Originally Posted by RZaakir

~70% of black females are unmarried, that's double the rate of where it was a generation ago
I don't quite see how this implies a "man shortage." Sounds like a "commitment shortage." Also, I'd like to see how this breaks down by class.

I like this quote. When I read the title of this post I was originally thinking it should have read "Where are all the single professional STRAIGHT black men who are open to a monogamous relationship?"

I am one of the women who do believe the numbers are in favor of men in Atlanta. I've had more than one guy even mention to me that if I wasn't willing to "do such and such" that there were plenty of other women in Atlanta who would. LOL. Of course I kept it moving.

I had one guy friend tell me when I asked him what he liked most about Atlanta, he said, "Well, I hate to sound blunt, but as a guy in the A, I can be broke, uneducated, no job, and have hardly anything going for myself, but one thing's for sure...I'm always gonna have some p---y!" He is not broke or uneducated, etc., but his point was, and he elaborated, that guys have it better when it comes to their potential pool of eligible women to date/pick from. Of course I understand that his standards may be...well....we'll say "different" from mine, since I am not just looking for someone to "pluck off the train" LOL

I am 30 years old and have had my share of crazy experiences dating in Atlanta. But I've also had my share of good professional black men. My last relationship with one lasted 3 years and we are still friends. I do believe that when it comes down to it, even if you do believe the numbers are against you when it comes to dating, what do the numbers really have to do with your own personal situation? The odds were against me growing up that I would have left my small town and graduated from one of the top HBCU's in the country, but I did it.

What I am trying to say is, you can focus on the negative or focus on the positive. When you focus on the negative, the funny thing is, often times you start to attract just that. If you think the dating scene is "hopeless", that you will "never find a man", and that "there are not enough good men to date" for you to be able to find one that suits your needs, then you just might find that that turns out to be your situation. I believe in self-fulfilling prophecies. I am not denying the scenario here, I am just saying to do your best not to let any negative aspects of the dating scene where you're currently at subconsciously limit you...

^ETA: I was not stating that this is what the OP is doing, I am just speaking in general terms here.

[diva05]

Originally Posted by RZaakir

- college graduation rate for black males is 37% and black females 47%
Due to aggressive outreach to women over the decades there is a roughly 7 to 10% differential overall in college attendance by gender across the board - favoring women of course. That graduation rates would mirror this is only logical. Black women are closer to 9% higher and the national norm is around 7%, but this is not an especially black problem, it is a nationwide trend.

~ 10% of black males ages 24 - 29 are in prison
And very few of those males are in the professional class which this thread is about. While women like to talk about how open they are to different types of men, few of the women worried about professional men would have these men in their dating pool to begin with.

~ 31% of black males will spend sometime in jail
Again, very few of those are in the professional class.

~70% of black females are unmarried, that's double the rate of where it was a generation ago
I don't quite see how this implies a "man shortage." Sounds like a "commitment shortage." Also, I'd like to see how this breaks down by class.

- not to jump off the "more black men in college vs. jail" rumor again, there are 5 times more black men in college than jail.
This is a horribly misleading statistic that is fairly irrelevant. Most college students are between 18 and 27 where a person can be in jail from age 13 til they die. That is a huge disparity in population size which I would think would be at least 5 times. In actuality, there are more black men from ages 18 to 27 in college than jail which is pretty good since the majority of people still don't go to college yet everyone is eligible to go to jail. And again, many of the black men in jail probably wouldn't have gone to college to begin with.

I'm not in denial about issues in the overall black community, incarceration and particularly socialization of males are big problems. However, a lot of these articles of faith that you cite are problematic in the context of this conversation. From everything I've seen and read, the situation seems to be this:

"Poor" black women have serious numbers problems with men - mainly due to the incarceration issue - but the rest, while at a bit of a disadvantage compared to other women, the disadvantage is not nearly as pronounced as they think.

For the most part, middle class and higher black women are dealing with the well-known truth that "good men are hard to find" and using the very bad statistics from the black lower class to explain away their lack of success where other races of women don't have such phenomenon to consider.

your missing the point. if the incarceration rate is not equal amongst black females, this means that the "middle class" black male population is lower due to less of them having the opportunities to make that life.
i have several family members and friends who, if they had kept their butt out of jail would have moved to that middle class status. the point is that unlike generations before, due to the ridiculous sentencing for drugs, black males are going to prison in droves. many of these brothers are fathers, and would have been husbands. but you know how hard it is to make a life after getting out of jail.

make it clear, i don't believe that people have to be "equally matched" on the economic scale. and again, that is virtually impossible for black women because there just isn't the equal # of professional black men. period.

[MGD]

Originally Posted by aries4118

Yep, what Acid Snake said...and expand your options...there are plenty of white, latino, and asian gents out there who love to date a beautiful black woman.

Never limit yourself...

I was about to respond to IP...why they have to be black?


Then again, I understand wanting your own kind for a mate...I prefer Jamaican men since I AM Jamaican...but you know what, if none of the right kind of Jamaican is available, it's OPEN SEASON...you could be from anywhere, long as we have chemistry you have a chance...

And frankly I find some black american men too hostile to females...they have some kind of complex or defensiveness they are walking around with that makes them not know how to talk sweetly to a woman, how to BE sweet to her...I don't mind a smartass cause I am one, but I can't take the rudeness and the weird complex about women with college degrees...island men LOVE that...a high number of black american men here seem vaguely threatened by it... There are exceptions to this rule...but overall I could do without the hostility I don't want to come home to a war.

And funny, this is what they complain about with their own black american women...many of you all are giving off the same hostile (or extremely selfish) vibes and don't seem to realize it...

That said, most of my dates my last time in the A years ago were with my own West Indian men.

Hey OP we got plenty men to spare, go to Jamaica and get your groove back like Stella! lol! If you are a professional, it seems to me your social circle should be nothing but professionals?

If you live in the hood move out. That can make you think there's not much out there. And stop thinking you owe black men something...long as you look good, have a nice shape, not weaved out with the multicolored multijewelled nails and the neckrolling attitude every culture has men that will be attracted.

[blkgiraffe]

Originally Posted by lsc1977

Hi I have been in the atl area for about 6 years . I have always been kind of weary about dating in this city and wanted to know where in the world have all the straight black professional men gone? are they all gay? I have no problems with gay men but i want to know what are my chances of meeting a single straight guy that has something to offer a single professional african american female as me...if you have some resources or info let me know ...lol

You need to come to Houston

[MGD]

Originally Posted by southkakkatlantan

I like this quote. When I read the title of this post I was originally thinking it should have read "Where are all the single professional STRAIGHT black men who are open to a monogamous relationship?"
.

lmao now THAT is the question! No shortage of dates with intelligent interesting attractive men who know something i don't and don't NEED my money...but the commitment thing is WORLDWIDE...

I do know quite a few black men from the HBCU I attended who are on my facebook or a friend's facebook and are either getting married, or are engaged...strangely enough many of them seem to be with black women, or mixed women who identify with their black heritage more. Only one guy, son of a doctor, is with some other race (white)...

Some of them met the husband or wife right there at the university, despite the usual player mentality of many guys in college...others seemed to meet them after.

And let's be honest women some of us just passed up guys we didn't give the time of day and some other girl saw them and snatched them up. One absolutely beautiful college classmate is married to a plain looking guy who has never seen a 6pack in his life (not fat, just doesn't look like he exercises, just average)...like a Jessica Rabbit and Roger Rabbit setup...and they seem quite happy...then i have my friend who is very short but drop dead gorgeous (male), dreads, green eyes, engineering major...girls threw themselves at him even when he HAD a girl, and I saw them coming in and out of his mall job back in school and i was like "these women are not that interested in buying frigging HATS what are you DOING to them?"...and he said that is how it is when he IS trying to behave! (So !!!! at what HIS sex life is like when he is INTENDING to get into some trouble.)

He rode a gsxr1000 that was about as gorgeous as he was (I'm a bike fanatic)...and by his last year or so of college he was engaged to an equally drop dead gorgeous girl who seemed to not mind waiting til he had tired of the game, cause he at first had turned her down cause he had a girl at the time he met her. Now he graduated, they bought a house together, and they are planning the wedding...they been engaged like 2 years or so...

Both are opposite scenarios, both met their man in college.

Technically I met my man in college but we ended up divorced (and he was one of the americans that is afraid of a girl with an education, likely cause he dropped out and did not finish his).

So what were some of you women doing when all these eligible future whatevers were running around the college campus? I actually had met a jamaican that even after i passed him up due to bad judgment and ended up divorced from my ex, was still saying me and him should have been married long time...met him my first week of college...

I admit I screwed up with that one, are you women admitting you screwed up somewhere along the line? I mean, really, who were you all dating during the college years? Who are you smiling more sweetly at at work? lol...be honest...and another honest question...how are you carrying yourself? Want class, don't look like a bum, or a hooker...or a hoodrat...don't sound like one either...lol...

[MGD]

P.S. on my bike fanatic statement before anyone tries to make an example of it...I had my OWN bike back then, a yzf600r...that is how we met cause we both ride. So no i wasn't hanging around cause i loved his bike. lol.

[MGD]

Originally Posted by MisterNY

I agree with you 1500%. I have no issue with someone being gay, but leading double lives, and lying to loved ones is unacceptable. I'd rather know where you stand, gay or straight. I dont care for flamboyance, but they're more bearable than the ones that lie to friends, family and co-workers about who they are. I have no respect for down low people. (Ironically, we dont know who they are until they let us know, or they're found out...)

Why is it any of a co-worker's business if another coworker is gay or straight? In the example lsc gave, the man was turning DOWN every woman coming after him....he doesn't owe a woman he is NOT giving the time of day an EXPLANATION on his sex life!

Us liking the man doesn't mandate him turning over his dna, ssn and life story...come on let's not get carried away. Maybe that dude was, as he said, not gay...not all extremely gorgeous men are gay...maybe he just wasn't into the easy panties coming at him left and right. Some guys like to actually have to chase it...

[MisterNY]

Originally Posted by MGD

Why is it any of a co-worker's business if another coworker is gay or straight? In the example lsc gave, the man was turning DOWN every woman coming after him....he doesn't owe a woman he is NOT giving the time of day an EXPLANATION on his sex life!

Us liking the man doesn't mandate him turning over his dna, ssn and life story...come on let's not get carried away. Maybe that dude was, as he said, not gay...not all extremely gorgeous men are gay...maybe he just wasn't into the easy panties coming at him left and right. Some guys like to actually have to chase it...

Agreed...but I was making reference to what someone else said about Downlow/gay men...That's all. Nothing wrong with what you said.

[spokenworddiva]

NOT ALL BLACK WOMEN LOOK AT A BROTHER'S WALLET. I JUST HAPPEN TO BE ONE SISTER WHO LOVES AN INTELLIGENT, WITTY, CHARMING , SEXY MAN WHO PUTS HIS TIME IN AND KNOWS HOW TO TREAT A WOMAN. I DON'T DO IGNANT FOOLS. I LIKE INTELLIGENCE... PERHAPS YOU SHOULD OPEN YOUR HEART AND SEEK BEYOND YOUR NORMAL CAPACITY...

IN ADDITION, A CAR DOES NOT MEASURE A MAN'S WORTH...




My beautiful black sistas want all the fruits of the labor but dont want to do the planting, and watering for it to get there. U see a dreadlocked gold teeth ignant fool wit that Charger on 22's and you flock to him. I pull up in my Toyota Corolla and you give me the ughhhhhhh look. But once I pull up in that BMW 750 LI now it's HEY!!!!!!!!!! **** out of here, women need to look at men for their character, and not their wallet.[/quote]