11 Year Old Suicide in Dekalb (Atlanta: high school, camp, living)

[TVR1997]

Actually if the boy was gay its very relevant. You don't think an 11yr boy who is gay would need extra support? I do. Far too often young gay pre-teens/teens are ignored and look at the tragedies that occur. What do these kids in elementary school know about oral sex, heck what did this 11yr old boy even know about suicide. Don't underestimate the power of the internet and today's media....these kids know it all and if they don't one of their classmates does and spreads the world. The days of an innocent child are fastly disappearing and I, unlike some in this thread choose to live in the reality of today rather than wax poetic about yesteryear.

Whether or not he is gay could definely be a factor for a variety of reasons. We tell people to defend themselves against bullies, stand up against them and they will eventually leave you alone, but again I ask you, what if he was, would he have to scream out no he is not gay..beat up every boy to prove his manhood? Stay in detention daily because he's trying to defend himself against what could very well be the truth? The truth he and EVERYONE around him is trying to grapple with? As I said before I am not sure if this young bright boy was gay but it is indeed relevant because it could drive him to the point of suicide (OMG, I'm gay AND everyone knows).

[jeffreda30238]

Originally Posted by TVR1997

Actually if the boy was gay its very relevant. You don't think an 11yr boy who is gay would need extra support? I do. Far too often young gay pre-teens/teens are ignored and look at the tragedies that occur. What do these kids in elementary school know about oral sex, heck what did this 11yr old boy even know about suicide. Don't underestimate the power of the internet and today's media....these kids know it all and if they don't one of their classmates does and spreads the world. The days of an innocent child are fastly disappearing and I, unlike some in this thread choose to live in the reality of today rather than wax poetic about yesteryear.

Whether or not he is gay could definely be a factor for a variety of reasons. We tell people to defend themselves against bullies, stand up against them and they will eventually leave you alone, but again I ask you, what if he was, would he have to scream out no he is not gay..beat up every boy to prove his manhood? Stay in detention daily because he's trying to defend himself against what could very well be the truth? The truth he and EVERYONE around him is trying to grapple with? As I said before I am not sure if this young bright boy was gay but it is indeed relevant because it could drive him to the point of suicide (OMG, I'm gay AND everyone knows).

Him being gay or not is not the point, period. The point is parents taking responsibility for what is going on in their childrens lives whether they be on the receiving or the dishing end of the bullying, plain and simple.

[graywolf73]

As a parent of a boy who gets bullied constantly due to his disability (he has asperger's - an autism spectrum disorder) I can understand how it can be overwhelming to a young boy. I myself was relentlessly teased in middle school because I had braces, pimples, and my single mom couldn't afford all of the "cool" clothes. At the time it felt like the teasing would go on forever and that it would never let up.

Due to my bullying I teach my son that what people say about him doesn't matter. I know and his family knows he is an awesome kid, I tell him that and how much we love him every day. I hug him when he needs and talk with him when he's upset. I don't know how much this mom did that with her son. You can't blame her though. It's easy to just think that this is just part of growing up and it will pass. Although that's true, there is no way to know just how much your child is hurting unless you constantly have conversations with them.

I am truly blessed with a wonderful teacher for my son. On the first day we gave her his IEP and discussed him at length with her. The bullying started with my son within a few weeks of school and she put the kabash on that right away. She asked him to go to the library to get a book. Then she spoke to the class and say that NO bullying or name calling was to be tolerated. If anyone was seen or heard doing this to anyone in the class there would be stiff penalties. The bullying ended almost immediately.

He still gets bullyed on the bus sometimes but I've told him that you never start a fight, but you always finish it. Just my 2 cents.

[billl]

Originally Posted by TVR1997

Actually if the boy was gay its very relevant. You don't think an 11yr boy who is gay would need extra support? I do.

And a 11-year-old straight boy who is being teased about being gay doesn't need any extra support?

We have no way of knowing if this young boy (these young boys, as there was the one in Springfield earlier this month) was gay, straight, or if he even had enough self-awareness to know. To conclude one way or the other is terribly presumptuous. This story is tragic regardless.

He was being bullied. And it was bad enough that he saw suicide as the only way to stop it. Same as the boy in Springfield. I am certain the bullies didn't really care if he was gay: to the bullies it didn't matter. All they cared about was making themselves feel superior and in control at the expense of one of their classmates. Unless an adult intervenes (a parent would be best, but any authority figure would be sufficient) their behavior will continue, and it will continue to have devastating effects on the other children in the school.

Bill

[blkgiraffe]

Originally Posted by TVR1997

Actually if the boy was gay its very relevant. You don't think an 11yr boy who is gay would need extra support? I do. Far too often young gay pre-teens/teens are ignored and look at the tragedies that occur. What do these kids in elementary school know about oral sex, heck what did this 11yr old boy even know about suicide. Don't underestimate the power of the internet and today's media....these kids know it all and if they don't one of their classmates does and spreads the world. The days of an innocent child are fastly disappearing and I, unlike some in this thread choose to live in the reality of today rather than wax poetic about yesteryear.

Whether or not he is gay could definely be a factor for a variety of reasons. We tell people to defend themselves against bullies, stand up against them and they will eventually leave you alone, but again I ask you, what if he was, would he have to scream out no he is not gay..beat up every boy to prove his manhood? Stay in detention daily because he's trying to defend himself against what could very well be the truth? The truth he and EVERYONE around him is trying to grapple with? As I said before I am not sure if this young bright boy was gay but it is indeed relevant because it could drive him to the point of suicide (OMG, I'm gay AND everyone knows).

Your forgetting one thing though, he wasn't the only kid being teased about his sexuality. Your looking way too deep into this and speaking on something you haven't fully learned about yet. It's not the fact that he was being called gay, this boy was probably humiliated and picked on everyday. He was attacked and constantly messed with. The kids must of been much harder on him since it got to the point where he dreaded going to school. When your child is at the point, than something NEEDS to be done.

He would come home everyday, upset because of his day at school and yet your going to say the mom can't be blamed. This kid was tired of it and had been for awhile. I would've understood if he didn't come home and tell his mom about it, but he did....many times. She went up to the school SIX times. I don't know what happened during those six meetings, but it obviously didn't accomplish nothing.

What really pisses me off is that since his death, nothing has changed at the school. These are some cruel ass kids.

[DeaconJ]

Originally Posted by billl

You're quite sure of it, huh? Why, because the kids called him gay? I was called gay countless times in school. It didn't make me gay.

There are most definitely problems with the way most schools handle GBLT issues, but this isn't related. This is bullying, plain and simple. He was singled out because he was different. And emotionally he could not handle it. And you're trying to turn this in to something it isn't.

No one said it "made him gay".

I'm pretty sure he was gay as well...if he wasn't struggling with it, I really doubt it would have ended in suicide. Unfortunately, we will never know the truth.

It's not "just bullying"...and he shouldn't have to "handle it". YOU are trying to not turn this into something that it IS.

[DeaconJ]

Originally Posted by jluke65780

Your forgetting one thing though, he wasn't the only kid being teased about his sexuality. Your looking way too deep into this and speaking on something you haven't fully learned about yet. It's not the fact that he was being called gay, this boy was probably humiliated and picked on everyday. He was attacked and constantly messed with. The kids must of been much harder on him since it got to the point where he dreaded going to school. When your child is at the point, than something NEEDS to be done.

He would come home everyday, upset because of his day at school and yet your going to say the mom can't be blamed. This kid was tired of it and had been for awhile. I would've understood if he didn't come home and tell his mom about it, but he did....many times. She went up to the school SIX times. I don't know what happened during those six meetings, but it obviously didn't accomplish nothing.

What really pisses me off is that since his death, nothing has changed at the school. These are some cruel ass kids.

Um...I think quite a few changes have been made at that school and at schools across Metro Atlanta and possibly across the country - all in response to this story.

[RainyRainyDay]

Originally Posted by billl

We have no way of knowing if this young boy (these young boys, as there was the one in Springfield earlier this month) was gay, straight, or if he even had enough self-awareness to know. To conclude one way or the other is terribly presumptuous. This story is tragic regardless.

Thank-you billl. I'm just boggled by the posts from people who "know" this poor boy's sexual orientation.

[billl]

Originally Posted by DeaconJ

It's not "just bullying"...and he shouldn't have to "handle it". YOU are trying to not turn this into something that it IS.

No, I am seeing it for what it truly is. Bullies relentlessly abusing a child because he is different. And the adults who were placed in charge of his well being failing to take action. Whether "different" means "gay" or "carribbean" or "fat" or "small" or "black" or "purple" doesn't really matter.

You and others want to turn this in to a gay thing. Okay, that's your prerogative. I wish you success (seriously, because it is a serious issue that needs to be addressed). But ultimately this particular incident had nothing to do with his sexual orientation, and everything to do with how and how much he was abused by his classmates.

[billl]

Originally Posted by DeaconJ

No one said it "made him gay".

What I meant was that just because he was called gay doesn't mean he was gay.