Diary of a Tired Black Man.... (construction, racist, deal)

[RoslynHolcomb]

Since when does black community equal black men? This is where the problem comes in. We've become so focused on the 'endangered black male' that we've totally forgotten the equally endangered black female, and the almost catastrophically endangered black children.

I talk about black women and children quite a bit. I spent 15 years in social services rescuing black women and children in various states of peril. Five of those years were spent working gang detail. I've been a sexual abuse investigator and a therapist. I've hardly been reluctant to talk about or more importantly, work my southern can off on behalf of black people. What I refuse to do is waste any of my energy on a continued non-reciprocal compassion or empathy for black men.

What so many are failing to recognize is that black men divested and left the black community a long time ago. The only thing left now are predators who are there to prey on black women and children. This is why we have all these posts about where are the black men? Magazine articles asking the same. They're gone and been gone, and they're not coming back anytime soon.

Originally Posted by jeffreda30238

Roslyn,
You had me initially and I respected that your opinion is different bc everyone is entitled to that, but to say that bc I wanna talk about whats going on in my community makes me uninformed or chloroformed is utterly ridiculous. This is why the black community is in such disarray now, because of people who never wanna do anything or talk about it. Anything that has to deal with the empowerment of my own, I'm gonna do it. Period...I'm VERY well informed, and well traveled which affords me the opportunity to be objective in discussions like this. I don't get offended nor do I EVER waste my time talking about topics with no substance. I am already empowered sista, and bc I have that gift (that unfortunatey a lot of sistas lack), I chose to share it with those who may not be. As long as my skin remains dark and the blood running through my body reminds me I'm black, I will CONTINUE to talk about those topics that help to plague my community. DO NOT go as far as to say I am uninformed...I've been through too much and traveled too many places to not know whats going on. Because I now live overseas and have many times, if I wanted to date all up and through Europe with different men of different cultures, I could. Sky is the limit for me, but I chose to stay close to brothas, thats just what works for me. I talk about issues with black women, but I did not start this post to say black women need to stop being angry and do all of these things so that we can keep the black man. I started this post just to make MEN and WOMEN aware of what needs to happen for us to live in harmony. It seperates our communities and destroys us in the end.

[LadyRo]

I'm not like the woman on your job or the other "bad" women black men talk about, so I don't have to change. I also am very capable of being independent, but as I've said before, that is a function of necessity, not a badge of honor. How it turned into such is beyond me.

Originally Posted by mrdkb

For the single independent black women - I 'd say, marriage will not be easy. What's funny is so many of the black women I know are church going, saved, etc... And they are married to hard working black men. But in the words of a black woman on my job (good job, etc..) "no man better not ever tell me not to disrespect him. I am going to say what's on my mind". I hear this and see this over and over. Hence, marriage will not be easy. Even Oprah knows this. So if you need some loving and you prefer a black man - get a friend or get convicted and change before marriage.

[mrdkb]

Originally Posted by LadyRo

I'm not like the woman on your job or the other "bad" women black men talk about, so I don't have to change. I also am very capable of being independent, but as I've said before, that is a function of necessity, not a badge of honor. How it turned into such is beyond me.

Most black women wear the single independent tag as a badge of honor. Interesting that you pointed out the education and I assume job status of your strong 50 year old friend. For me and my many black male friends - who are just good men, who happened to blessed with good jobs - a feminate, cultured woman will do. And BTW it's not the case where I or a few of my friends are ugly guys. Not to sound to over the top but I'm what one would consider to be a very good looking man. I don't have to do much to get a date, espcially since job (I have six figures), car (luxury Inifiniti) , house (I own) are what women look for. On my job there are at least 5 black women trying to get my attention wondering why I don't return their flirty glances. It's only for the best - as I would have to explain to them my disposition and how we could be friends and perhaps sexual partners (for a time) only.

[LadyRo]

Originally Posted by mrdkb

Most black women wear the single independent tag as a badge of honor. Interesting that you pointed out the education and I assume job status of your strong 50 year old friend.

That wasn't me, that was StPaulEastSider.

For me and my many black male friends - who are just good men, who happened to blessed with good jobs - a feminate, cultured woman will do.

The unspoken accusation here is that black women are neither feminine nor cultured.

BTW, attainment of a cultural IQ is often a product of higher education. Most people in the trenches don't have time for anything else. They go to work, get off work, eat dinner, prepare for work the next day, go to bed and get up and do it all over again. They are not high enough up Maslow's hierarchy of needs pyramid, yet.

You and men like you are very sad. So dead set against black women that you fabricate reasons out of thin air to disqualify them and make them unworthy of you. Dude, just drop the pretext and go and get with the white women. You don't need a reason. Just do you, and stop scapegoating black women to justify your choices.

And BTW it's not the case where I or a few of my friends are ugly guys. Not to sound to over the top but I'm what one would consider to be a very good looking man. I don't have to do much to get a date, espcially since job (I have six figures), car (luxury Inifiniti) , house (I own) are what women look for.

And the point of you mentioning this is what? I don't have to do much to get a date/boyfriend/husband, either, if I throw my standards out the door. You're not unique.

On my job there are at least 5 black women trying to get my attention wondering why I don't return their flirty glances. It's only for the best - as I would have to explain to them my disposition and how we could be friends and perhaps sexual partners (for a time) only.

Please continue to walk away. Don't add to the problem. We won't miss you. Bye.

[MisterNY]

This thread is hilarious. I have yet to see one with so many ups and downs.

Roslyn,

I still think you're ...But let's all move on peacefully. The way you reason on these issues cloud your ability to make sound decisions, helping women, men and kids. I would fire you as a social worker (if that's what you are). Your personal issues are clouding your logic, and professionalism.

Ex:
Imagine you work for an agency trying to rehabilitate men, how would you honestly work with them, with the way you think? I'm also glad you're not a judge. Lord only knows how many black men you'd put on the electric chair......on a good day!!

[RoslynHolcomb]

Sorry MisterNY, I got momentarily distracted. I'm not interested in talking to you, and fortunately you're in no position to fire me. Next.

[mrdkb]

Originally Posted by LadyRo

That wasn't me, that was StPaulEastSider.

The unspoken accusation here is that black women are neither feminine nor cultured.

BTW, attainment of a cultural IQ is often a product of higher education. Most people in the trenches don't have time for anything else. They go to work, get off work, eat dinner, prepare for work the next day, go to bed and get up and do it all over again. They are not high enough up Maslow's hierarchy of needs pyramid, yet.

You and men like you are very sad. So dead set against black women that you fabricate reasons out of thin air to disqualify them and make them unworthy of you. Dude, just drop the pretext and go and get with the white women. You don't need a reason. Just do you, and stop scapegoating black women to justify your choices.

And the point of you mentioning this is what? I don't have to do much to get a date/boyfriend/husband, either, if I throw my standards out the door. You're not unique.

Please continue to walk away. Don't add to the problem. We won't miss you. Bye.

You do not know what I mean by culture. Culture from your point of view is going to the museum, knowing some intellectual things taught in a classroom or learned on the internet, or the reading some book by Kazuo Ishiguro. These things - while nice can be freely attained in the course of life but are not a person's foundation. Culture is how you were raised - who you are. Case in point, a Dominican friend of mine has a husband who had not been paying attention to her for a few years (due to his business - self employed) and he would at times be rude. She would not think about leaving or dissmissing him because she was taught by her mother the role of a wife and mother. And she makes a nice salary and is "corporate". As she says "this is my family". BTW - I am not attacking black women, nor you, despite your tone towards me. Again, in my posts I mentioned the issue of black relationships was due to a tragic history. That said, if you have evolved from the history and/or have recognized the problem and realized that it will take a world of pain and suffering to deal with it (i.e. marrying the likes of you) then go for it. As for me, I will follow a Biblical passage: "It is better to dwell in the corner of a rooftop of a small house, than in a large house with a brawling woman." This is of course is in Proverbs, during the time of Solomon.

[mrdkb]

Originally Posted by LadyRo

That wasn't me, that was StPaulEastSider.

The unspoken accusation here is that black women are neither feminine nor cultured.

BTW, attainment of a cultural IQ is often a product of higher education. Most people in the trenches don't have time for anything else. They go to work, get off work, eat dinner, prepare for work the next day, go to bed and get up and do it all over again. They are not high enough up Maslow's hierarchy of needs pyramid, yet.

You and men like you are very sad. So dead set against black women that you fabricate reasons out of thin air to disqualify them and make them unworthy of you. Dude, just drop the pretext and go and get with the white women. You don't need a reason. Just do you, and stop scapegoating black women to justify your choices.

And the point of you mentioning this is what? I don't have to do much to get a date/boyfriend/husband, either, if I throw my standards out the door. You're not unique.

Please continue to walk away. Don't add to the problem. We won't miss you. Bye.

And yes many women - black and white alike do not understand feminity. To them it's a concept that they think they possess because of their physical structure. I have found that many Americanized women have no idea about what it means to be feminate.

[MisterNY]

Originally Posted by RoslynHolcomb

Sorry MisterNY, I got momentarily distracted. I'm not interested in talking to you, and fortunately you're in no position to fire me. Next.

LMAO.... (good riddings)!! Why dont you exit, since you're the common denominator when it comes to disagreements?

[brownhornet]

Honestly from reading this thread Roslyn seems to be black in skin only. If I didn't know any better id think she was wearing a white hood with an aryan cross on it. Everything black she seems to hate no matter what it is. There's a word I usually use for people like that but ill refrain from using it here. But my saying is no matter what you say or do, you can't change your skin color honey. Then again, in this case it might not be a bad thing if you could.