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Old 05-18-2009, 05:06 PM
 
574 posts, read 1,628,615 times
Reputation: 516

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Quote:
Originally Posted by RoslynHolcomb View Post
That would be because we are. Black women and black men are not the same. I know it's a difficult concept for some people to comprehend, but a woman cannot be a man, and a man cannot be a woman. (Not without surgery, anyway.) We are different. With different goals, mores and agendas. Black men are going to do what black men are gonna do. I really have little to no interest in what their agenda is, seeing that I'm not a black man and have no role to play in that. It's not my job to teach a grown-ass man how to be a man. If he somehow missed out on that, I'm sorry for him, but I certainly don't want a boy-man in my gene pool. Who knows if that foolishness can't somehow wind up on my child's DNA.

My husband was taught to be a man by his father, as all men should be. My son will be taught to be a man by his father. No surviving culture has ever relied on women to socialize boys to manhood, and I strongly advocate that women avoid boy-men who haven't been socialized by other men into that role.
Ms. Roslyn, I recommend that you watch the youtube video I posted and really think about what the man is saying. I think it is kind of extremely sexist to neglect the man problem's in favor of the woman's.

Lastly let me say this. If all black men disappeared off the earth tomorrow, that would be the end of the whole black race as one knows it, including black women.

 
Old 05-18-2009, 05:23 PM
 
Location: Atlanta,Ga
826 posts, read 2,734,550 times
Reputation: 237
I am in an IR marriage, the topic does not offend me. When I was dating, I preferred to stay away from anyone who judged me based on my skin color, background, etc. I don't have the energy to defend myself in these matters. If someone looks at me, as a black women, and automatically believes I am a trouble maker , I simply don't care. Ignorant people are not my cup of tea.
 
Old 05-18-2009, 05:25 PM
 
Location: Atlanta, GA
216 posts, read 330,582 times
Reputation: 108
Update: I finished the series of videos. He says black people have to cast off Christianity, Islam, etc and embrace our ancient African spiritualism to restore the natural balance between black men and women. That's where he lost me. Sorry, Dr. Higgins, but I'm not giving up Jesus for anybody. That's not even an issue up for discussion.

======================

I just started video #4 and so far Dr. Higgins is spot on. I haven't gotten to the parts about why the relationships between black men and women are how they are. He's still speaking about the "breaking" process which led to all the rest. So far, he also hasn't said anything I didn't already know, but it's going to be really interesting to see him tie everything together then break it back down.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mdiggs1 View Post
A substantial amount of black women out here don't respect the role of black men, or feel that his role is not as important as theirs. When it comes to relationships and parenting, both roles are important. If there is no man in the house it's incomplete. Period. Our problems do go back to slavery.


YouTube - Dr. Ray Higgins/ How to de activiate your willie lynch chip

The link above is a speech given by Dr. Ray Higgins which talks about the history behind the problems in black relationships. The series is an hour long, and it is worth watching. Very deep. I recommend that whoever reads this watch it. It shall answer your questions on why black women = drama, or why black men sometimes don't step up fully to the plate in relationships.

Last edited by LadyRo; 05-18-2009 at 06:15 PM..
 
Old 05-18-2009, 07:24 PM
 
Location: Heidelberg, DE by way of Jonesboro, GA
325 posts, read 853,409 times
Reputation: 139
Quote:
Originally Posted by Glitterific View Post
I totally agree. I wouldn't be surprised if some guys use the angry black witch excuse to date outside of their race. I'd have much more respect for someone who is honest over someone who is using some tired old excuse.

I've had 5 serious relationships and with the exception of one, I think highly of all my exes. We just didn't work out...I wonder about people who constantly date or get involved with bad relationship after relationship. Something just isn't kosher there. Change your methods already!

I would love to support a movie/documentary highlighting positive views of relationships. Or at least show how we can begin to move forward and make long needed changes in dealing with each other.
Aren't we overdue for something like that already? I will not support movies that are separatist and only serve to hand out bats for beating an already dead horse.
honestly, I think this movie expresses exactly that...it was a new perspective, a break from the Tyler Perry's or the Terry McMillans....I'm telling you ladies this movie is awesome, and it does open our eyes just a lil bit wider to what we may not realize is going on...it had some points in there that I was ALL TO FAMILIAR with and I even had to say dang...that almost sounds like me....I think this docu/movie is a far cry from the norm or beating a dead horse....I'm tellin you...take a look and you may be surprised....
 
Old 05-18-2009, 07:25 PM
 
Location: Heidelberg, DE by way of Jonesboro, GA
325 posts, read 853,409 times
Reputation: 139
Quote:
Originally Posted by ttefylooc View Post
F it
Thats fine....the postings will go on you know...lol
 
Old 05-18-2009, 07:35 PM
 
Location: Heidelberg, DE by way of Jonesboro, GA
325 posts, read 853,409 times
Reputation: 139
Quote:
Originally Posted by LahdeeDahdee View Post
You know what the main problem is? People are in relationships or married and they aren't even FRIENDS. They are so unnecessarily disrespectful towards one another just like you in your above post. Why is it so hard to respectfully disagree? Rosyln, you just had to use the term, "lame ass" when describing a brother. That's just automatically inflammatory which resulted in this brother lashing out with the "B" word towards you -- a daughter of another brother. When we disrespect one another we disrespect ourselves.

ttefylooc, your response lacks complete tact and class and is indicative of an eroded mentality. Actually, the dialogue is a hot ghetto mess and we have got to do better!
Well LahdeeDahdee....glad you could join us...lol..you were hitting me over the head and leaving initially Good points....
 
Old 05-18-2009, 07:38 PM
 
133 posts, read 442,092 times
Reputation: 78
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeffreda30238 View Post
Well LahdeeDahdee....glad you could join us...lol..you were hitting me over the head and leaving initially Good points....
I was suffering from ABS earlier. Saawwwyyy...
 
Old 05-18-2009, 07:44 PM
 
Location: Heidelberg, DE by way of Jonesboro, GA
325 posts, read 853,409 times
Reputation: 139
Quote:
Originally Posted by LahdeeDahdee View Post
I was suffering from ABS earlier. Saawwwyyy...
Its cool....
 
Old 05-18-2009, 07:52 PM
 
Location: London, England
107 posts, read 134,635 times
Reputation: 29
yea Im sure they will Jeffreda ain't no beef with you personally, you are the OP, my thing is it obvious, black men want peace, black women want TOO much. But hey as queen Roslyn says... If you can't deal with black women's drama then "YOU ARE NOT A REAL MAN". I have heard that argument before. If your man ain't doing what he Needs to be doing move on. It should not be called "Tired Black Men" but "Beaten Black Men" Women like Roslyn are not the caring, understanding type. Some women do know how to play their position, but many black women do not. I am not sexing outside of my race, not really interested in that, but one thing I know for sure, I don't really have to keep a girlfriend, just be a great man and patiently wait for the volcanic emotional eruption (drama) to come. When it occurs, I simply disappear. Its like they never existed to me. Then you get the "Im sorry" textes and emails and voice mails from these women because they just couldn't be cool, friendly & peaceful. One girl even left a card on my door about how sorry she was for flipping out for no reason. I don't get it, why is it so hard for black women to just "get along"? Patients is my best friend, these women never fail me, sometimes it takes a month or 2, but I know the drama will eventually surface and it always does. Message to my black fellas, Stop cuffing these women yall, let them be free. If you really treat her good, you can probably still get the goods without the drama as a "good friend". If you are afraid she may let the next man get the goods, then you are doomed from the start. You are not her final stop. Other man came before you and some will come after you, expect this knowledge and enjoy your time on earth.
 
Old 05-18-2009, 07:54 PM
 
Location: Atlanta,GA
2,671 posts, read 5,411,759 times
Reputation: 1165
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeffreda30238 View Post
honestly, I think this movie expresses exactly that...it was a new perspective, a break from the Tyler Perry's or the Terry McMillans....I'm telling you ladies this movie is awesome, and it does open our eyes just a lil bit wider to what we may not realize is going on...it had some points in there that I was ALL TO FAMILIAR with and I even had to say dang...that almost sounds like me....I think this docu/movie is a far cry from the norm or beating a dead horse....I'm tellin you...take a look and you may be surprised....

My question, earlier was: Where did you find the DVD? I told my wife about it, and she wants to see it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jeffreda30238 View Post
tisk tisk tisk....this was a out of line....she has her opinion, and you need to respect that...if you feel differently that is fine, express it in a well thought out and mature manner, but your going too far with the name calling...take a min, breathe, and get it together bc this was too much!....
Although out of line, some people had a good laugh (needless to use the B word). While I respect others' opinions, Hocolmb included, she may have enfuriated a few people. Someone was bound to give her a peace of their mind. I could care less. That is life.

I am married to a black woman, and she is not the stereotypical "angry black woman" as many have been led to believe. She's from the Caribbean, (born and partially raised in NJ though, home with two parents) and there are less issues than the ones some describe here.

Someone mentioned single parent households; that holds a lot of weight for me. From experience, I will not date a woman who did not have a male influence in her house while growing up. Lots of issues stem from both men and women not having a (functional) father in their household growing up. A man is essential in the household.

It's so funny, how much energy comes from such threads, but if someone posts about solutions to greater problems, there are less people to offer input.
It also shows how passionate people get about these issues. If I could charge each one of you $1, for each post when it comes to relationships, I'd be able to get myself a boat in no time.
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