Black women really need to get their priorities straight (Atlanta: colleges, living)

[Southern Soul Bro]

Dude, I was talking about this kind of stuff with friends a few days ago.

It's kind of simple. Men want women. Men do things to make women happy, so they can get with them.

If black women as a whole were turned on by educations, intellect, and the ability to be a great husband and father................rather than how nice his candy paint, rims, gold teeth, gangsterism etc. are......then I believe more black guys would leave all that crap alone.

If a skinny dude walking around sagging below his boxers with a 4x Tee shirt on that says "Hustla"....was shunned and not able to get any females looking this way, then he'd stop doing it......but of course he gets all the girls...because thats what alot of them like...therefore encouraging him to continue in ignorance.

(Before any females get mad or take that out of context..no I'm not putting all the blame on you...yes..I know all black women arent like that...If you arent one of those types I'm not talking about you....and yes...I know ultimately it's up to the guy to change himself and he should want to live and look like he has pride and morals FOR HIMSELF....I know all of this...I'm just saying that you know the situation would improve if more black females upgrade their standards)

[bizchick86]

Don't know where you all are finding these women. All of my girlfriends (and we're all educated, black young professionals) hate the saggy pants types.

[Sweet Atlanta Peach]

Originally Posted by GoldenLightan

I consider myself a black male who has assimilated to mainstream white culture to get where I am at right now. I went to one of the top 5 schools in the nation and I still go back to the community to give back to inner city youth, because it all started for me there.

Most people say I am handsome and hot, and have the appeal to be a model in a GQ magazine. Even with all these attributes, I have not had one successful relationship with any African American woman. Most of my successful relationships have been with women from other ethnic backgrounds. White, Latina, Asian etc, and the reason for this I think is that I just do not understand why most black women want to be with delinquents.

Don't get me wrong, I think everybody no matter what type needs love, but from observation it just seems almost as if this is what most black women want...at least until they turn 35 or if they have many children. They would rather be with men who are wannabe gangstas, instead of a young successful black man in there early to mid 20's.

I remember dating an undergrad from Spelman while I was in Atlanta. I guess she thought I was one of those wannabe thugs, because of the attire I wore that day "pretty thuggish" when I asked her out. The minute I picked her up, she glanced at what I was wearing, and it appeared almost as if she did not want to date me anymore. Throughout our date I guess she was surprised on how proper and eloquent I spoke, and just was not interested. We really had nothing in common because she was talking about todays terrible hip hop artists and about shoes that you can get from any major sports store. On the way home she was looking at a guy with dreadlocks in a beat up maybe mid 90s Buick with some shiny rims. I guess she did not like my hybrid.

It happened to me more then once with black woman, and I came to the conclusion that maybe there is probably only one type for most of them.

I understand that most women like the guy who has that bad boy image, but that is a psychological theory. I also heard theories that since we are all mammal, most females look at which man is suitable and could provide them with a strong offspring, which is scientific.

I say it is just a phase, that young teenagers go through when they watch all those hip hop and rap videos. However the black women I have met ranged from 19 - 24 and they give off this mean attitude. Even the more sophisticated ones act like that. They do not want to give bright educated black men an opportunity and I do not know why, because to tell you the truth I would rather have a long term relationship with black woman.

I just don't understand why is it with most black women the only type of men they would date, at least when they are in there early to mid 20's are wannabe gangstas and thugs? How come women from other ethnic backgrounds more specifically white and Asian women got away from that phase, and actually decide to go for men even dorkier than me. I just wonder why, because maybe this is a reason why single parent households is high in the African-American community. Most of the men they decide to get with are men who are not likely to take any responsibility for there own actions.

WHAT does this have to do with Atlanta? I am so sick of reading these types of posts...moderators, can you PLEASE shut this down? WTF? Just because you've had a bad experience doesn't mean you can generalize...why waste a post?

[Southern Soul Bro]

LMFAO@the comments.........why are people mad at this guy? He told the truth. I could understand if he said all black women are like that, but he didnt. He acknowledges that not all are, but that far too many want to be with thugs. Is this not true??

Some of you are trying to blind yourselves from the truth. If you dont believe me, you dont even have to go to the "hood".....spend a weekend at the black college nearest you and see which type of guys even most (keyword: most..not all) black college females are into. Dudes with with 4x white tees, unkept dreads, gold teeth, and say "shawty" every other word.

[Oildog]

Had lunch with a colleague last week, she is black with a masters degree and said the same thing. It was hard for her to find suitable dating material because of the prevalence of 'players and clowns' (her words) in the community. She used to live in ATL where she found it easier to date professional men. I'd suggest to the OP that you look at professional business organizations, service groups or church rather than clubs. There are a number of attractive educated black women who are looking for the same in a man.

[bizchick86]

And again where exactly are you finding these women? I have friends from HBCUs and white schools and most are into the polished black guys that go there. You guys are really exaggerating.

Originally Posted by King_X

LMFAO@the comments.........why are people mad at this guy? He told the truth. I could understand if he said all black women are like that, but he didnt. He acknowledges that not all are, but that far too many want to be with thugs. Is this not true??

Some of you are trying to blind yourselves from the truth. If you dont believe me, you dont even have to go to the "hood".....spend a weekend at the black college nearest you and see which type of guys even most (keyword: most..not all) black college females are into. Dudes with with 4x white tees, unkept dreads, gold teeth, and say "shawty" every other word.

[MisterNY]

Originally Posted by bizchick86

And again where exactly are you finding these women? I have friends from HBCUs and white schools and most are into the polished black guys that go there. You guys are really exaggerating.

They're out there. Trust me, you don't have to go far to see them.

Originally Posted by bizchick86

Don't know where you all are finding these women. All of my girlfriends (and we're all educated, black young professionals) hate the saggy pants types.

Good for you. About time, some of you spoke out...I hope someday your type becomes the majority.

Originally Posted by King_X

Dude, I was talking about this kind of stuff with friends a few days ago.

It's kind of simple. Men want women. Men do things to make women happy, so they can get with them.

If black women as a whole were turned on by educations, intellect, and the ability to be a great husband and father................rather than how nice his candy paint, rims, gold teeth, gangsterism etc. are......then I believe more black guys would leave all that crap alone.

If a skinny dude walking around sagging below his boxers with a 4x Tee shirt on that says "Hustla"....was shunned and not able to get any females looking this way, then he'd stop doing it......but of course he gets all the girls...because thats what alot of them like...therefore encouraging him to continue in ignorance.

(Before any females get mad or take that out of context..no I'm not putting all the blame on you...yes..I know all black women arent like that...If you arent one of those types I'm not talking about you....and yes...I know ultimately it's up to the guy to change himself and he should want to live and look like he has pride and morals FOR HIMSELF....I know all of this...I'm just saying that you know the situation would improve if more black females upgrade their standards)

Great, and truthful post. Mad as they want to be, there is so much truth in what you say. Rep points are in order.

[bizchick86]

And I am simply asking where. Did the OP go to Spelman, and did he come across three women like that, 4, 10? Exactly where did he go and what was the response? It's a simple question that has yet to be answered.

Let's stop speaking in generalities and actually look at some specifics if he really wants some help.

Originally Posted by MisterNY

They're out there. Trust me, you don't have to go far to see them.



Good for you. About time, some of you spoke out...I hope someday your type becomes the majority.



Great, and truthful post. Mad as they want to be, there is so much truth in what you say. Rep points are in order.

[Southern Soul Bro]

No ma'm@bizchick86. No exaggeration here. I'm familiar with many HBCUs, either from going there myself, having friends there, talking to females there, or just attending random events. I'm VERY familar with Alabama A&M, Alabama State, and Ft. Valley St. I'm somewhat familiar with the ATL HBCUs, Tennessee State and Albany State. I'm not denying that there arent several black women out there who are into more well rounded black guys, but I must say that the "hoodrats" outnumber them. And this is only within the HBCU Community........you know that changes for the worst if we talk about the black community as a whole.

Some people may have a problem with the following, but.......I can admit that it does seem like a much higher % of black females who attend NON-HBCUs are not into that thug/gangsta stuff though, opposed to the ones at HBCUs. It just seems like that to me.

[Southern Soul Bro]

There's no exaggeration here though. Come one people, it's common sense. If this many positive, high standard setting black women were around then there WOULD NOT be so many gangstas and their wannabes.....because nobody would want to talk to them!!!

Why do you think there are still so many around and so many more popping up? Because still so many black women care more about which guy's rims are the most inches and who's trunk has the most bass.....as opposed to which guy is more likely to be a productive member of society, a good husband, and a good father.

Thats just real. Things cant change when even our own people are denying this.

lol just because some of you all and your friends arent like this it doesnt mean the majority arent.