Replacing Fence and Sharing Cost with Neighbors (contractors, move)

[motherofthree]

Maybe I can tell I will pay for all of it if I can replace it now or if she wants to replace it later I'll only pay for half. Is that fair?

[Austin97]

Originally Posted by motherofthree

Maybe I can tell I will pay for all of it if I can replace it now or if she wants to replace it later I'll only pay for half. Is that fair?

You should try to understand why she doesnt want the fence. Offering up suggestions when you have no idea of what is motivating her is pointless. It may be that money is the issue, but it may be that money is not the issue. Maybe she is mad at you for something and wants you to apologize, maybe she feels out of control of other parts of her life and this is one thing she has control over. Maybe she is all alone and this is a way for her to get attention. Most people are not irrational, you simply are not able to get to the root of what is driving their decisions.

[motherofthree]

I understand what you are saying. All I can say is that she is a difficult neighbor and has been since we've lived here. If anyone should get an apology it is us. I won't go into what has happened but we keep quiet to keep the peace.

[MissNM]

Some people find fences confining, especially if the yard is small. The reality is, if she doesn't want a fence, she can't stop you from building one. But she also doesn't have to pay for it.

The main reasons people will contribute to a fence is because 1) they want one, and 2) they want some say on what it looks like. Contributions come with strings. It's a delicate balance between neighbors.

[motherofthree]

Just to clarify: I told her I was paying for all of it. I did not ask her to split the cost. I just told her I was looking into replacing it and wanted to make sure I replaced it with something we both like. Also, we both have dogs so it is needed for both of us.

Something I forgot to mention, a month ago I heard a lot of hammering and I went outside to find the neighbor extending the fence from where it is now towards the street along the property line. They never asked our permission to do that. It sits unfinished. Lovely.

[futurehouse]

Austin97 might have a point there!

[TexasHorseLady]

Originally Posted by motherofthree

Just to clarify: I told her I was paying for all of it. I did not ask her to split the cost. I just told her I was looking into replacing it and wanted to make sure I replaced it with something we both like. Also, we both have dogs so it is needed for both of us.

Something I forgot to mention, a month ago I heard a lot of hammering and I went outside to find the neighbor extending the fence from where it is now towards the street along the property line. They never asked our permission to do that. It sits unfinished. Lovely.

Well, that would seem to indicate that shes doesn't think that permission is needed for something like replacing a fence.

[mark311]

I hate hearing stories like this because my parents lived through something like this for two years with an irrational neighbor. She just enjoyed causing trouble and filing lawsuits. Their issues also started out with a fence issue. It later came out from other neighbors that the people who sold my parents the house moved because of this one irrational neighbor and my parents ended up moving as well after two years of stress. If she already made someone else move, I would tread very carefully.

Honestly, if the neighbor is as bad as it sounds, and if I didn't love the house and could get out without losing money, I would consider moving as well. It would be different if you were on large lots, but it sounds like you're right on top of this neighbor and from my experience, these situations tend to get worse and not better. Hopefully your situation isn't as bad, but I would be curious if any lawsuits were filed between this neighbor and the other neighbors in the past.

It's difficult for people that haven't experienced this before to understand that you don't even like walking into your backyard, and it's crazy that surveilance cameras were involved in the past pointing at each other's houses. That doesn't sound like something that I would want to be involved with at all. It might be worth trying to get the whole story from the other neighbors if you haven't already so you know what you're really dealing with here.

[CptnRn]

Originally Posted by motherofthree

She's a difficult neighbor. In fact, we are her only neighbors that are on speaking terms with her. The neighbor on the other side of her finally moved 6 months ago b/c of her. The neighbors that moved even had surveillance cameras pointed at her house. I don't know what went on between the two but it go very nasty.

She actually told me "no, I don't want a new fence." She didn't say why. I was just in shock she said no. My jaw dropped to the floor. That was the last thing I expected. I told her I was paying and it was cheaper for me to replace the whole fence now then replace 2 sides and have a company come back in a year or two to replace the third side. Our shared side is the only side not leaning or fallen down.

So I assume I can legally replace it. What can she do if I replace it and she doesn't want me to?

No she can't stop you from building it on your property. She could refuse to allow the fence builders to set foot on her property which will make it a little more difficult to build, but they can still do it all from your side of the property line as long as they put the pretty side of the fence on your side. That is the only way they could do it if they can't set foot on her property.

[motherofthree]

Thanks for all the input. I met with a few fence companies today and after taking everything in we decided to build our own fence in front of the existing fence so we can avoid the neighbor completely. The fence will be completely on our property.

I was afraid even if she decided to do it she would find something wrong with the new fence and I really didn't want the hassle. Plus it saves me money, I'm not paying for the tear down of the section of fence.