Opinions Wanted (Austin: apartment, home, wedding reception)

[CATXTransplant]

So last night I was invited to a birthday party for a friend (by her). It was being held at a restaurant she and her husband own. This is a VERY successful restaurant. There were about 20 people there and it's not too expensive - I imagine the whole "party" would have costed $500, less for them because they own the place. When we left, they brought us a bill. I thought this was beyond tacky. What do you think?

[Jennibc]

So the restaurant owners hosted a party and then presented you with a bill? If that's the case, then it is pretty tacky. We had a tacky experience like that here once, we went to a housewarming and the hosts decided to order pizza, after it arrived they took up a collection from attendees to help pay. This wasn't college students christening an apartment either, it was a couple of DINKS who'd just purchased a home in SW Austin. If someone hosts a party, they should cover the expenses. I don't think the local culture dictates otherwise, but some long time residents here should chime in on this.

[HappyTexan]

Yes IMO very tacky. Invited to a party and then expected to pay for it ?

[10scoachrick]

Yikes! This sheds a whole new light on the wedding reception we've been invited to in May!

[Jennibc]

Originally Posted by 10scoachrick

Yikes! This sheds a whole new light on the wedding reception we've been invited to in May!

I wouldn't jump to that conclusion quite yet. The OP could have experienced an isolated example of tackiness. I went to a baby shower at a cafe here a couple of months ago and no one presented me with a bill. I haven't been here long enough to know what social mores require but I am still convinced that local culture doesn't absolve hosts from actually "hosting." There may be a "cash" bar at the reception, but I've seen that kind of tackiness all over the country.

[HappyTexan]

Originally Posted by Jennibc

I wouldn't jump to that conclusion quite yet. The OP could have experienced an isolated example of tackiness. I went to a baby shower at a cafe here a couple of months ago and no one presented me with a bill. I haven't been here long enough to know what social mores require but I am still convinced that local culture doesn't absolve hosts from actually "hosting." There may be a "cash" bar at the reception, but I've seen that kind of tackiness all over the country.

Cash bars at weddings seem typical. The costs usually include so many drinks and then they have a cash bar for those folks that "want more".
That doesn't seem unreasonable IMO since you do have the choice.

What the OP presented is not a typical Austin social custom. This is the first I've heard of it.

[mimimomx3]

Wow. That's a new one. I think I'd return the favor for my birthday!
Uchi, anyone???

[love roses]

Tacky to be sure. I'd be taken aback if I was invited to a party and then had to pay for it.

[cls88]

Originally Posted by mimimomx3

Wow. That's a new one. I think I'd return the favor for my birthday!
Uchi, anyone???

That's too much work. I'd simply write a note on that bill "Thank you for inviting me and spending that much on me. p.s, please kindly remove my name from your invitation list next year".

[FromCalitoSteinerRanch]

Originally Posted by cls88

That's too much work. I'd simply write a note on that bill "Thank you for inviting me and spending that much on me. p.s, please kindly remove my name from your invitation list next year".

It seems like the OP is just trying to gauge his gut response against others opinions, but I don't know if this is a friendship breaker, but probably at a minimum declining future birthday parties at their restaurant.