how to convince yankee mother-in-law about Austin (children, whole)

[Dr.Mom]

Originally Posted by readymade

I moved to LA (from Boston) and tried to convince my mom to move there. She (understandably) didn't want to leave her friends, family, & job. Then I moved to Ventura, CA. I was CONVINCED my mom would love it there, and I tried to get her to move. Again, no. Then I moved to Austin and talked it up trying to get her to move. No dice.

Now I'M most likely moving back to Boston. (I'm pregnant, too, and I realized that I don't want to raise my kid without the support, love, and nearness of my family. I miss them.)

Also? FYI, you probably can't play tennis year round here unless you don't mind playing in 100+ degree weather. That's another reason I'm moving back... I figured if I'm going to be in unbearable weather... it might as well be in Boston near my family. I haven't been able to be outside for more than 10 minutes (just STANDING around, mind you) for several weeks.

Congratulations!!! I was born and raised in the Boston area, so of course, I think it's a great place to grow up! Best of luck to you in your move back East (the weather's been gorgeous, btw).

[Dr.Mom]

As someone who has been on the receiving end of being convinced to move to Austin, I can tell you that it doesn't work. I don't have a choice though (DH's job) so I've done TONS of research and have found some things about Austin which have me excited. Those are the things that are carrying me through. What if she gets there and hates it? Is she the type to blame you? Maybe you could start out with lengthy visits and see how she likes it there.

[LovingSAT]

Originally Posted by blakesq

HI all,

My wife and I live in New England. I am from TX originally, and my wife and her mom are from New England. My wife and I want to move to Austin (I will be moving my biz to Austin). I love austin, and my wife has really liked Austin on the two trips there we have taken there. However, my wife's mother, is not crazy about the moving to Austin. It would be nice if she did though, because we are having our first baby in the Fall. So, what are some things we can tell my mother-in-law to convince her about Austin. She and my wife will probably take a trip together to Austin in April. Thanks in advance! Oh, my mother-in-law is a tennis instructor, and of course she is worried about the heat.

Is your mother in law moving with you? If not, you are a kind person to worry about this!

[readymade]

Originally Posted by Jennibc

How long have you been down here?

I ended up moving back to Seattle to be closer to family and what do you know, I am back in Austin again. Maybe your family is different than mine, but what I found was that I really didn't get much help with my baby and the cost of living here made it much easier to raise a family so we came back. It turns out that my friends down here would have been more help. But stuff like that obviously varies with individual circumstances.

Good luck to you.

I've only been here since August. And, honestly, I can't think of anyone here that I would trust leaving my baby with. I have friends, but none of them have kids and they ALL smoke pot fairly regularly. Nice people, but I don't want my baby around that.

I had one other person say that they moved nearer to their family who ALSO didn't help much with their baby. I guess time will tell. I have a pretty big, close family and they're all so excited that I'm moving back (and about my baby) that I almost wonder if I'LL get to spend any time with my baby!

The above person also said something like "don't expect your family to watch your baby at the drop of a hat!" And I don't. I just want to be able to go to a movie once in a while! As it stands now, here in Austin, I wouldn't be able to even do that. I guess we need to do what's best for our baby, and Boston really is a fantastic place to grow up. If it weren't for the snow, I would have moved back years ago. I'm crossing my fingers it works out.

Anyway, my point for the OP is that maybe move here and live here for a year or two before convincing your MIL to move here. What if YOU don't like it? Is she supposed to up and move AGAIN if/when you want to?

[LovingSAT]

don't expect your family to watch your baby at the drop of a hat! (Cut and Paste)


You would be surprised as to how many people would be happy to do that! My mother in law would beg us to go out so she could watch our child. My son does not want kids and my daughter says she is not sure she wants to marry, so who knows if she will bless us with kids or not.

Lucky for us the neighbor kids like us or we would never have the pleasure of seeing children. With that said, if we are blessed with kids, I would watch them/him/her "at the drop of a hat"!

Just sayin!

[doctorjef]

You are clearly being bombarded with messages from breeders, with their own peculiar messages to do with baby-worship. If your MIL is into that, well, you might seduce her with respect to this whole move. But not everyone is intoxicated by the scent of nappies and breast milk. Get over it.

[love roses]

Originally Posted by readymade

I've only been here since August. And, honestly, I can't think of anyone here that I would trust leaving my baby with. I have friends, but none of them have kids and they ALL smoke pot fairly regularly. Nice people, but I don't want my baby around that.

I had one other person say that they moved nearer to their family who ALSO didn't help much with their baby. I guess time will tell. I have a pretty big, close family and they're all so excited that I'm moving back (and about my baby) that I almost wonder if I'LL get to spend any time with my baby!

The above person also said something like "don't expect your family to watch your baby at the drop of a hat!" And I don't. I just want to be able to go to a movie once in a while! As it stands now, here in Austin, I wouldn't be able to even do that. I guess we need to do what's best for our baby, and Boston really is a fantastic place to grow up. If it weren't for the snow, I would have moved back years ago. I'm crossing my fingers it works out.

Anyway, my point for the OP is that maybe move here and live here for a year or two before convincing your MIL to move here. What if YOU don't like it? Is she supposed to up and move AGAIN if/when you want to?

Oh, one more thing. About wondering if you'll get to spend any time with your baby....My spoiled brat sister gets so much help ALL the time that she actually complains about that Guess the grass isn't always greener!

I understand. I grew up in Texas and after we were married, my husband and I moved to Colorado for a change of scene. We loved it there, and still love it and have quite a few friends there still. But, once our daughter came it was a different story. There I was all alone, no family nearby and not any friends at the time I could count on. My sister had an infant too, born the day after mine and it drove me nuts to no end hearing how the entire family was at HER house helping her with her new baby and I was by myself, my husband was at work most of the time and I was clueless. Thank GOD I had fantastic doctors! The Pediatrician, Internist, and OB/Gyn I had were great. They actually took on sort of mom roles for me. I wish I could have moved them to Texas with me. I beat my way out of all the baby blues stuff and when our daughter was 2 we decided to move back to Texas to be closer to family. And then, like the other poster states, they still do little to help me out My spoiled brat little sister, on the other hand, still can get them to come watch her kids for days on end so she and her husband can go out for whatever reason they concoct....But that's another story It is still great to be closer and know that family is only a few miles away instead of several states away and being able to visit a little more often. Even though my family is pretty lame with helping me out for anything, at least my daughter knows her cousins. If we had stayed in Colorado she wouldn't.

[G Grasshopper]

Originally Posted by blakesq

HI all,

My wife and I live in New England. I am from TX originally, and my wife and her mom are from New England. My wife and I want to move to Austin (I will be moving my biz to Austin). I love austin, and my wife has really liked Austin on the two trips there we have taken there. However, my wife's mother, is not crazy about the moving to Austin. It would be nice if she did though, because we are having our first baby in the Fall. So, what are some things we can tell my mother-in-law to convince her about Austin. She and my wife will probably take a trip together to Austin in April. Thanks in advance! Oh, my mother-in-law is a tennis instructor, and of course she is worried about the heat.

How about letting your MIL stay where she is, but when you move to Austin, make sure to get a house with a nice guest set-up? Then she can still have her home, but visit in comfort, maybe for long stretches, and come during the times of year when the heat won't bother her so much.

[CptnRn]

Originally Posted by blakesq

how to convince yankee mother-in-law about Austin

First off, stop calling her a yankee!

[Pfhtex]

Who is paying for all this? her? Or you?? My mom's mother lived with our family for my entire life, and once that started, there was no turning back.

You are married to your wife, not her mother. Your wife is carrying your baby, not her mother's.

This shouldn't take any convincing. Clearly state that YOU and YOUR WIFE are moving to Austin, then do it. If MIL needs to be coddled about this, it will set a precedent that will infect the rest of your life, or marriage, whichever ends first.

Sorry to sound cynical, but I have seen this first hand.